What To Do When The Kids Fight (all day)
It’s summer vacation, and this year we decided to enjoy the time we have together as a family, without busy schedules or classes, with just the time to really do anything or nothing for once! Last summer we did no less than 3 trips, and in-between I enrolled the kids in summer classes (N did a reading workshop, O an art class), so you can imagine how the holiday went amazingly quickly and not without stress! This summer we wanted to do the opposite, so aside from a 2-week trip to visit Grandpa P, we had NOTHING else planned.
Great?! Well, yes, aside from one small detail. My kids have been fighting like cats and dogs (ok, worse!) on a daily basis. Maybe it’s because we are at our beach house and there are no other kids around, maybe its because the beach hasn’t really been swimmable so they’ve been pushed with things to do…maybe they just have serious personality clashes?….
Luckily, the truth is that siblings WILL fight and there really isn’t much we parents can do about it (other than scream and make threats). But I did find this very useful bit of advice from Positive Parenting, which said:
“Instead of reacting to the fighting, parents can choose to be pro-active. They can stay out of the fights in a nonjudgmental way. Children need to be able to settle things for themselves. Parents can teach negotiation skills later during a calm period. Teach your child to say “I’ll give you these blocks for those.” This will help them learn win-win skills that will be there when they are needed now and useful in the future.”
I’ll be giving this a try in about 30 seconds….
July 27th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
I know exactly what you’re going through Lara! In addition to parenting, my husband and I own and run a travel company that specializes in Disney vacations, therefore we are frequent visitors to Disney and bring the girls most of the time. Even though Disney is supposed to be the happiest place on earth, it can be the most frustrating when the kids are arguing. Although you can never prevent all arguing (that’s a natural part of growing up in my opinion) I think the above advice “Positive Parenting” gave is a great place to start. For example, when we’re at Disney we take turns choosing which rides we’ll go on next. We rotate from one person to the next to ensure fairness and happiness for everyone. The most we can do is show our children that being fair, honest, and sharing is what makes a family work and everyone happy.
August 3rd, 2009 at 5:29 am
That is a great tip, give them the tools to handle arguments on their own. It will teach them that you need to give a little to get a little.
Hope it works for ya!
August 5th, 2009 at 3:07 am
Thanks for the comments! I agree about Disney, Amy – we were there for their birthdays, and the emotions (and arguments) were running high. It really is a challenge for us parents!
August 8th, 2009 at 12:07 am
I can actually relate to your kids because when I was still young, me and my younger brother keeps on fighting at the middle of our games. My mother usually scolded us because we were too noisy and she even said that we were like a cat and a dog. Then she tried to talked to us calmly after our fights and slowly our behavior has changed.
August 10th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
I tried this software programme for parents to teach young children or babies to get a headstart in life. It trains them how to read, learn maths and have a good knowledge base at a young age. Its great, I can see such an improvement in my 14month old already and gave it to my brother to use as well. Here is the link http://039e8cfc7lnvfrb7qjuwdziv0u.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=BABY. Good luck.
August 11th, 2009 at 4:36 am
All the best negoiators are middle children !