Emotions

4 Tips For Moving On After Divorce

November 27, 2023 By Lara

The truth is that divorce can be incredibly traumatizing. In a way, divorce can be like a death, leaving both people in pain, mourning the loss of a relationship that once meant the world to them.

After the divorce takes place, it may feel like a shock finding who you are again. Adjusting to becoming single again after being in a couple requires taking your time. You won’t settle into your new life overnight, particularly if you were married for a long time.

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Originally posted on October 24, 2019 @ 2:43 am

3 Sacrifices You Make When You Have Kids

November 27, 2023 By Carmen Te

When you become a parent, the most important thing in your life becomes the well being of your children. No longer do you have the mentality of a singular person, but rather as a parent. In order to ensure the quality of the future prospects of your child’s life, it’s critical to make sacrifices. The more sacrifices that you make, the more that your child’s future can benefit from them.

For this reason, being a parent is known as one of the toughest jobs on earth. So what is it that parents have to give up to make sure their young ones have what they need? Take a look at some of the most common sacrifices parents say they’ve had to make.

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Originally posted on March 5, 2020 @ 2:59 am

When Your Child Doesn’t Talk: Hearing Issues Underlying Speech Delay

November 26, 2023 By Teresa Te

When you child doesn’t speak much, there are several different causes that might run through your head. First, there may be panic – parents tend to immediately worry that children who are slow to speak may be autistic, but limited speech isn’t the only symptom of autism. Those parents with chatty older children may also worry that the other siblings speak for or over their younger children, discouraging them from developing speech.

One commonly overlooked reason that your child may be slow to learn to speak, however, is that they’re suffering from hearing problems. These can be caused by any number of things, and using hearing aids and providing speech therapy early on is vital to helping your child meet communication milestones.

Causing Of Childhood Hearing Loss

Many children are born with compromised hearing, which may go undetected due to the difficulty of accurately testing hearing in young children. Children born prematurely or who spent time in the NICU are more prone to such problems, as are those who go on to suffer a large number of ear infections or who have relatives who also had childhood hearing loss. It’s also important to remember that young children are especially susceptible to hearing damage, so make sure you protect your child’s ears if they’re going be in a loud environment. [Read more…] about When Your Child Doesn’t Talk: Hearing Issues Underlying Speech Delay

Originally posted on August 3, 2016 @ 9:58 am

How to Gain a Child’s Trust

November 26, 2023 By Teresa Martinez

It is said that children are the most trusting people in the world. In the general sense, this is probably true. On a more personal level though, it takes more than being related or being known to a child to gain his or her continuing trust.

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In the traditional way of bringing up children, parents are expected to earn their trust by the responsibilities performed in the name of parenthood. It is impossible for trust not to develop as children feel the care and love that can only come from parents. In the course of bringing up a child however, there may be hindrances and obstacles that can come up that can create doubts and mistrust. [Read more…] about How to Gain a Child’s Trust

Originally posted on September 19, 2013 @ 7:00 am

Help Your Child Cope With Your Divorce

November 26, 2023 By Teresa Martinez

It is very easy and common for estranged spouses to be so caught up with their own divorce woes and forget about their children’s feelings. In a very unfortunate family event like divorce, children will almost always have no say on the matter and yet they can be the most affected. Seeing two people they look up to going their separate ways and probably tearing each other apart can be one of the most traumatic experiences in their young lives. There is no question that a child would need help to cope with the realities of divorcing parents .

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Acknowledge the Pain

Difficult as it may be, the divorcing parents should be looking out for their children as well especially during the most trying times. If you are in the process of divorcing your spouse and you think you have been dealt the worst deal, think again. There is someone hurting more than you are and that is most probably your child.

Talk with you child in a way he or she can understand and acknowledge the pain. It may not be expressed as clearly as the child wants to but it is real. Crying is not the only manifestation of pain. Often times, it is the child’s silence which is more difficult to interpret.

Do Not Add Confusion to the Pain

Divorcing parents should resist every opportunity to badmouth each other most especially in front of the children. The personal issues of parents simultaneously sounded off to their children may just be too much to handle at a certain point. Parents should try to keep the divorce proceedings in a civil level.

Children however have to be protected adequately if they are at the risk of any harm from any parent. If there is reason to believe that children must be forewarned of any possible danger, then it needs to be done. Of course, there is no room for exaggeration and false accusations which can only further confuse an already emotionally hurting child.

Live Life

When all the legal proceedings have been done with, the only thing left to do is to live life. You have made your decision to divorce your spouse but life goes on for you, your estranged spouse, and your children. Presumably, you have come up with arrangements about custody, visiting rights, and all that stuff so everybody is expected to be moving within the parameters of these arrangements.

That takes care of the legal aspect but you still have the more personal challenge of living life on a daily basis after divorce. Your children will probably have many questions in their minds that will come out many days, months or years after. Remember this, you may no longer be a wife or husband to your spouse but you remain a parent to your child even after divorce, so be one.

About the Author:

Sara Angle is a professional blogger that shares tips and information about the divorce process. She writes for Widrig Law PLLC, a top divorce law firm in Nashville TN.

Originally posted on March 15, 2014 @ 12:21 am

When a Child Loves One Parent More Than the Other

November 26, 2023 By Teresa Martinez

When we speak of children loving one more parent than the other, we are doing so in a context that goes beyond favoritism. Favoritism can be as simple as preferring one parent more in going to specific places or doing some activities. This can go both ways at any point in time and is generally not something to be bothered about. Loving one parent more than the other however can be a sign of serious falling out on the part of the child due to some complex undercurrent in family life.

Originally posted on October 15, 2013 @ 12:26 pm

Are You a “Grown Up” Parent?

November 25, 2023 By Lor

How many times have you heard or uttered the phrase “Grow up?” I suppose that you can not count. This phrase is often used in a wide variety of contexts. Yet what does grow up really mean? What does it mean to be grown up? If you are of legal age and you have children, does that necessarily mean that you are all grown up?

Well, if you were to ask author John Cheetham, parents are not necessarily “grown up.” This author from Melbourne has a new book called “Grow Up! How to raise an adult by being one yourself” and in it, he challenges parents to quit behaving like overgrown children and start acting their age. I don’t have a copy of the book as of yet but the information presented in News.com.au has gotten my interest. Here’s a sampling:

He says parents should stop drinking, smoking, swearing and losing their temper – particularly when driving. He thinks parents are too over-emotional, too over-protective and over-react to their teens’ faults. “The most important thing is to remember the power of example,” Dr Cheetham said. “Parents need to be in tune with their emotions – it’s not what you say, it’s what you do. And this means not having an episode of road rage on the way to taking your son to get his learners.”

If you think about it, this is an age old principle. Walk the talk and so on. I suppose, though, that in this day and age of indulgence, we can always use a reminder like this book. Now here is my question: Are you a grown up parent?

Originally posted on August 30, 2011 @ 12:34 am

The Art of Listening

November 25, 2023 By Lor

listening

Are you a good listener? I actually find it amusing that I got the idea for this post from one of those online quizzes in a social networking site. I like taking those quizzes when I am passing away time. They may not be as accurate as they can be but they are fun and sometimes, provides valuable insight – like this one. As I was reading my results (I am supposedly a good listener although I don’t always come across as one), I could not help by relate the topic to being a parent.

As Munashe shares in his blog, the art of listening is perhaps one of the most important – if not THE most important – things that a parent should develop. What does the art of listening entail?

I believe that it is more than sitting there and hearing the things that your child has to say. It is not a passive activity but an interactive one. You actively listen by understanding what your child is saying and contributing something to the conversation. More so, listening entails understanding that maybe, at times, your child just wants to be heard and does not really need to be told what to do.

I think that is one problem that arises when children share things with their parents – we sometimes automatically think that we need to provide a solution to whatever they are presenting. Have you ever thought that maybe your child just wants to rant and let off steam and be heard? I sure know that I feel that way a lot of times.

So do you take the time out to really listen to your child? How do you listen?

Originally posted on July 27, 2011 @ 2:14 pm

The Angry Pregnant Woman

November 25, 2023 By Lor

I’m not exactly sure why (hormones, fatigue, aches and pains?), but every time I am pregnant I become very angry. Not all day, and thankfully not at my husband or kids (well, not all of the time), but lets just say I have a short fuse and if anyone makes my day more difficult, woe betide them. With #4 on the way, and the other 3 under age 9, I have a lot going on. So for instance, when a sales clerk (who obviously would rather be texting her boyfriend) can’t be bothered to look for something I just know they have, or a rude lady cuts the line at the grocery checkout or the bank ….my swollen feet stamp on the ground and I see red. I know, these are all small things, but when I’m pregnant, they really don’t seem small at all.

A good friend of mine, K, who recently gave birth to her #3, fired 2 of her staff when she was pregnant. She also admitted to being an angry pregnant woman, and I vividly remember her getting ticked off with someone at the mall practically every time we went shopping together. It was pretty scary because these people are totally defenseless against a heavily pregnant woman. Now that K is back to her sweet old self, I’ve become the dragon lady, in my 4th fire-breathing incarnation. The poor husbands who have to live with this Mrs.Hyde syndrome have to get some sympathy. On our last family holiday, I fumed at our travel agent (who failed to book 3 child meals after I reminded her twice), the hotel receptionist and flight attendant to name a few. By the end of the trip (remind me again WHY its a good idea to travel in your 2nd trim?), hubby said I had to relax and try not to work myself up into a fury every time things don’t go well.

And he’s right. After a bit of web digging, I found that there are prenatal anger effects on the fetus and neonate. One study showed that one hundred and sixty-six women were classified as experiencing high or low anger during the second trimester of pregnancy, and the babies of Moms who showed the high anger were prone to bad sleeping patterns and so on. Whether or not that’s true, I don’t know. What I do know is that I’ve been angry with all of my pregnancies, and all of my kids happy and healthy – equally different in good ways and bad.

It doesn’t hurt though to curb that anger, which can’t be a good thing pregnant or not. Parenting mag gives some sound advice:

If you find you’re frequently furious, try:

* Walking away. Avoid discussions that’ll only make your blood boil — tell the offending party that you’re feeling sensitive and you would rather not talk about the issue. Then give yourself a half-hour and take a stroll, whether it’s around the office or around the block.
* Staying active. Swimming, tennis, walking, gardening — many types of regular exercise can keep your hostility barometer in check while helping to relieve physical discomforts.
* Writing it out. It can be very cathartic to vent on paper — through journal entries, poems, or outrageously nasty letters that you never mail.
* Taking a mental health break. Whether it’s a day off work or a two-hour escape from the kids, pamper yourself: Get a facial, see a movie, buy a pair of shoes.
* Seeking professional help. If you find your anger is making it hard to function, consider talking to a therapist.

Photo via Floyd Brown

Originally posted on September 2, 2010 @ 12:54 pm