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The truth is that divorce can be incredibly traumatizing. In a way, divorce can be like a death, leaving both people in pain, mourning the loss of a relationship that once meant the world to them.
After the divorce takes place, it may feel like a shock finding who you are again. Adjusting to becoming single again after being in a couple requires taking your time. You won’t settle into your new life overnight, particularly if you were married for a long time.
When you child doesn’t speak much, there are several different causes that might run through your head. First, there may be panic – parents tend to immediately worry that children who are slow to speak may be autistic, but limited speech isn’t the only symptom of autism. Those parents with chatty older children may also worry that the other siblings speak for or over their younger children, discouraging them from developing speech.
One commonly overlooked reason that your child may be slow to learn to speak, however, is that they’re suffering from hearing problems. These can be caused by any number of things, and using hearing aids and providing speech therapy early on is vital to helping your child meet communication milestones.
Causing Of Childhood Hearing Loss
Many children are born with compromised hearing, which may go undetected due to the difficulty of accurately testing hearing in young children. Children born prematurely or who spent time in the NICU are more prone to such problems, as are those who go on to suffer a large number of ear infections or who have relatives who also had childhood hearing loss. It’s also important to remember that young children are especially susceptible to hearing damage, so make sure you protect your child’s ears if they’re going be in a loud environment. [Read more…] about When Your Child Doesn’t Talk: Hearing Issues Underlying Speech Delay
It is very easy and common for estranged spouses to be so caught up with their own divorce woes and forget about their children’s feelings. In a very unfortunate family event like divorce, children will almost always have no say on the matter and yet they can be the most affected. Seeing two people they look up to going their separate ways and probably tearing each other apart can be one of the most traumatic experiences in their young lives. There is no question that a child would need help to cope with the realities of divorcing parents .
Difficult as it may be, the divorcing parents should be looking out for their children as well especially during the most trying times. If you are in the process of divorcing your spouse and you think you have been dealt the worst deal, think again. There is someone hurting more than you are and that is most probably your child.
Talk with you child in a way he or she can understand and acknowledge the pain. It may not be expressed as clearly as the child wants to but it is real. Crying is not the only manifestation of pain. Often times, it is the child’s silence which is more difficult to interpret.
Divorcing parents should resist every opportunity to badmouth each other most especially in front of the children. The personal issues of parents simultaneously sounded off to their children may just be too much to handle at a certain point. Parents should try to keep the divorce proceedings in a civil level.
Children however have to be protected adequately if they are at the risk of any harm from any parent. If there is reason to believe that children must be forewarned of any possible danger, then it needs to be done. Of course, there is no room for exaggeration and false accusations which can only further confuse an already emotionally hurting child.
When all the legal proceedings have been done with, the only thing left to do is to live life. You have made your decision to divorce your spouse but life goes on for you, your estranged spouse, and your children. Presumably, you have come up with arrangements about custody, visiting rights, and all that stuff so everybody is expected to be moving within the parameters of these arrangements.
That takes care of the legal aspect but you still have the more personal challenge of living life on a daily basis after divorce. Your children will probably have many questions in their minds that will come out many days, months or years after. Remember this, you may no longer be a wife or husband to your spouse but you remain a parent to your child even after divorce, so be one.
About the Author:
Sara Angle is a professional blogger that shares tips and information about the divorce process. She writes for Widrig Law PLLC, a top divorce law firm in Nashville TN.
When we speak of children loving one more parent than the other, we are doing so in a context that goes beyond favoritism. Favoritism can be as simple as preferring one parent more in going to specific places or doing some activities. This can go both ways at any point in time and is generally not something to be bothered about. Loving one parent more than the other however can be a sign of serious falling out on the part of the child due to some complex undercurrent in family life.
[Read more…] about When a Child Loves One Parent More Than the Other
It is said that children are the most trusting people in the world. In the general sense, this is probably true. On a more personal level though, it takes more than being related or being known to a child to gain his or her continuing trust.
In the traditional way of bringing up children, parents are expected to earn their trust by the responsibilities performed in the name of parenthood. It is impossible for trust not to develop as children feel the care and love that can only come from parents. In the course of bringing up a child however, there may be hindrances and obstacles that can come up that can create doubts and mistrust. [Read more…] about How to Gain a Child’s Trust
How many times have you heard or uttered the phrase “Grow up?†I suppose that you can not count. This phrase is often used in a wide variety of contexts. Yet what does grow up really mean? What does it mean to be grown up? If you are of legal age and you have children, does that necessarily mean that you are all grown up?
Well, if you were to ask author John Cheetham, parents are not necessarily “grown up.†This author from Melbourne has a new book called “Grow Up! How to raise an adult by being one yourself†and in it, he challenges parents to quit behaving like overgrown children and start acting their age. I don’t have a copy of the book as of yet but the information presented in News.com.au has gotten my interest. Here’s a sampling:
He says parents should stop drinking, smoking, swearing and losing their temper – particularly when driving. He thinks parents are too over-emotional, too over-protective and over-react to their teens’ faults. “The most important thing is to remember the power of example,” Dr Cheetham said. “Parents need to be in tune with their emotions – it’s not what you say, it’s what you do. And this means not having an episode of road rage on the way to taking your son to get his learners.”
If you think about it, this is an age old principle. Walk the talk and so on. I suppose, though, that in this day and age of indulgence, we can always use a reminder like this book. Now here is my question: Are you a grown up parent?
Are you a good listener? I actually find it amusing that I got the idea for this post from one of those online quizzes in a social networking site. I like taking those quizzes when I am passing away time. They may not be as accurate as they can be but they are fun and sometimes, provides valuable insight – like this one. As I was reading my results (I am supposedly a good listener although I don’t always come across as one), I could not help by relate the topic to being a parent.
As Munashe shares in his blog, the art of listening is perhaps one of the most important – if not THE most important – things that a parent should develop. What does the art of listening entail?
I believe that it is more than sitting there and hearing the things that your child has to say. It is not a passive activity but an interactive one. You actively listen by understanding what your child is saying and contributing something to the conversation. More so, listening entails understanding that maybe, at times, your child just wants to be heard and does not really need to be told what to do.
I think that is one problem that arises when children share things with their parents – we sometimes automatically think that we need to provide a solution to whatever they are presenting. Have you ever thought that maybe your child just wants to rant and let off steam and be heard? I sure know that I feel that way a lot of times.
So do you take the time out to really listen to your child? How do you listen?
Depression, anger, lack of social skills and many more, these are classical signs of either underlying sickness or too much stress. Nope, you’re not crazy but might need help, who needs psychologists who charge tons of money. Get help from people like you who may have overcome these challenges themselves and have ample experience to help you through. From seasoned professionals who are well versed in such cases or merely people who want to help and have dealt with people like you, what’s important is to accept that something is wrong and that help is needed.
Acceptance is one of the most difficult things to do, for no one, and we mean no one wants to admit it outright they have issues. Pent up anger can get out of hand and easily turn violent without therapy and counseling. Have a child who seems out of the game most of the time, get help quick so you can get help on tips how you can help them develop into more lively kids.
Getting help is the first step, recovery is the ultimate goal which we all strive to attain. Learn how people overcome fear, anxiety and dread of things we take fore granted. Learn how your fears can be turned into positive approaches to the most common problems we face. The current economic slump isn’t helping either, lost your job, need help or simply want a sympathetic ear to ease away the pain. Depression is so hard to battle when you’re alone. You sacrifice your health, family and life for something that can be addresses with simple yet effective conversations. Get help, get on your way to a healthier you, inside and out!
Let’s face it. One of the things we parents have to deal with is our kids getting sick or injured. It’s a part of growing up, especially if you have accident-prone kids like I do.
My four-year-old Ollie gets a bump/wound/scratch almost daily, and a few months ago had a bad accident in our garden where he cut his head open and was rushed to the ER. While playing with his big sister, he fell through the fence constructed by our handyman and nearly fell into our pool (which had just been cleaned out and empty). He was grabbed just in time by the handyman, so didn’t fall into the pool but slammed his head on the tile. My husband saw the whole thing and was going to kill the handyman for his shoddy work (it wasn’t nailed in properly), but he did save Ollie’s life…so it was a hard one. Luckily Ollie didn’t need stitches and aside from my husband being covered in blood ala Carrie, it turned out to be a minor injury. It could have been much much worse though, so we are grateful and have since taken extra precautions to make sure that all areas in our home were safe. Ollie was feeing a bit traumatized for the next few days (as were all of us), but I think he’s recovered now.
Here are some great tips from After The Injury, a really useful website for parents who have to deal with their child’s injuries. Whether your child’s injury is big or small, it helps to remember these things so that your child recovers faster.
While doctors know that injury prevention is the best “medicine,†the sad truth is that kids still do get hurt- lots of them- even with the most vigilant parents. In fact, 9.2 million children are treated in an emergency room for an injury each year, making it equally important for parents to know how to handle what happens after the injury.
1. Let your child know that he or she is safe. In the first days and weeks following an injury many children fear that something bad might happen to them again. Learn more about helping your child with new fears or worries.
2. Allow children to talk about their feelings and worries, if they want to. Let your child know that it’s ok to feel a little upset. The circumstances of an injury can be frightening, and it’s not always easy to know how to talk with your child about it. Here are some things that other parents have found helpful for talking with their child.
3. Go back to normal routines. It is important to help your child get plenty of sleep, eat regular meals, keep up with schoolwork, and spend time with friends. Here are some options to consider if the injury gets in the way of things s/he used to do.
4. Increase time with family and friends. Children who get support from family and friends seem to do better in recovering after upsetting events. Try reading together, playing games, or watching movies together. Listen to what some parents had to say about how to help their children remain connected after an injury.
5. Take time to deal with your own feelings. In addition to all of the things you do to help your child, it’s important to remember to take good care of yourself. Learn more about your own reactions and get tips for taking care of yourself.
6. Keep in mind people in the same family can react in different ways. Your child’s feelings and worries about the injury might be different from yours. It’s important to monitor how your child is doing and when reactions might signal trouble. Learn how to gauge your child’s emotional recovery and identify any reactions that might need special attention.
Visit After the Injury to read full tip sheets, learn more about child injury and pain care, take a quiz to rate your child’s reactions to injury, and create a personalized care plan to help parents help their child recover from injury.
Photo via Ramberg Media