Teens aren’t the easiest kinds of humans on earth. They can be emotionally unstable, often volatile, and in many cases, seek negative attention. They seem to believe that they know all of the answers, and see themselves as invincible. All the while being incredibly insecure. It’s enough to drive you nuts!
Discipline
6 Tips For Driving With Kids
Texting while driving or adjusting the radio is one thing. Little do many people know that kids can be an even bigger distraction while driving. Nothing is as distressing as trying to operate a vehicle while kids are screaming.
In order to avoid getting in a car accident, take a look at some of the best tips for driving with kids in the car.
Effective Ways to Make Your Kids Behave in Public
One of the real major challenges parents face is how to make their kids behave in public. Each kid is different and while some are good children, there are others who can test a parent’s patience such as when they throw tantrums or become very restless. When your situation is the latter, it can be difficult to make your child behave when you’re out in public.
So is there really a formula to do this? Unfortunately, there’s no standard formula but some parents have certain techniques that successfully helped them in raising well behaved kids.
You’re probably heard the advice of “avoid labeling your kid” many times. This is very important in raising kids particularly in helping them develop self confidence and a decent behavior. So if you get enraged and are tempted to speak unpleasant words including those that can label your kid’s negative behavior, take a deep breath and instead, assure yourself that you have good kids.
You can actually share stories with your kids about how people think they are good, friendly and well behaved kids. From here, you can follow up by telling them about your expectations for them to behave wherever you may be going. [Read more…] about Effective Ways to Make Your Kids Behave in Public
Teaching Kids to Save Money
Saving money is one of the most important things parents should teach their kids. Starting them young is most ideal. Experts have pointed out that the way a parent instills the value of saving money will determine a child’s success in handling his own money in the future.
For small kids, parents need to encourage to start saving despite the little money that you give them. You can introduce the traditional piggy bank to your kid and let him or her put any amount that’s left of what you’ve given him.
It’s also a good idea to let your kids help out in certain household chores that they are capable of doing and then rewarding them with a little money. According to experts and many parents, this is a better option than just freely giving money or buying them whatever they ask of you. This strategy will make children become more responsible as they help you in the house and it also makes them look forward to earning their reward afterwards.
Listing The Do’s and Dont’s of Childhood
Some times our kid’s need a little helping hand in remembering what we ask them to do. If you are a parent of a child who is old enough to start helping out around the house…You will know what I mean.
Some children just do not comprehend and know how to complete tasks from start to finish. So they ask mom or dad over and over how to do whatever it is they are attempting to do.
I thought I would take a moment and list a few things that might be great to put on a child’s list of To Do’s and To Not Do’s. Making a list and posting it in words your child can read will not only help you save all the questions. It will also help you to encourage your child to read.
Toddlers Ages 3 to 5
1. Pick up your toys.
2. Put your toys where they belong.
3. Put your dirty clothes in the hamper.
4. When you are done playing put your things
away.
Kindergartners Ages 5 to 6
1. Pick up your things in your room.
2. Put everything where it should go.
3. Put your dirty clothes in the hamper.
4. Set out your clothes for the next morning.
5. Try and make your bed.
6. Help set the table.
Children Ages 6 to 10
1. Clean your room.
2. Make your bed.
3. Put toys away and other play items.
4. Put dirty clothes in the hamper
5. Help fold and put clean clothes away.
6. Help set the table.
7. Learn to pick up around the front room.
8. Learn to vacuum.
9. Learn to dust and clean surfaces in bathroom.
Children Ages 10 to 12
1. Clean your room.
2. Make your bed.
3. Put belongings away after play or use.
4. Put dirty clothes in hamper.
5. Help fold and put clean clothes away.
6. Set the table and wash dishes.
7. Learn to clean and vacuum front room.
8. Clean the bathroom.
9. Take care of personal belongings.
10. Put your bike away or any outside items.
11. Feed and take care of a pet.
12. Take out the trash.
13. Help around the house.
14. Be willing to learn new things.
Teenagers 13 and up
1. Do all of the above listed things.
2. Help mow the lawn and pick up around the yard.
3. Do extra chores for added allowances.
4. Baby sit as you grow more responsible.
5. Clean the house.
6. Learn to cook a little.
7. Learn to do laundry.
8. Learn the value of money.
9. Do some volunteer work.
Now Don’ts For All Ages.
1. Do not break house rules.
2. Do not talk to strangers.
3. Do not go any place alone or without
your parents permission.
4. Do not disrespect other people.
5. Do not talk back to teachers, parents or
people with authority.
6. Do not leave your bike or belongings in
places they do not belong.
7. Do not go places by your self.
8. Do not leave your mess for others to clean up.
9. Do not hit, kick or bite.
10. Follow all of your parents DO NOT Rules.
I am sure you get the basic idea of what you want your child to do and to not do. Just make up a list and post it on the door. You may want to add a how to clean your room list. It is always helpful to use simple words that the kids understand and can relate too. You may want to show them where the dirty clothes go.
Just a few ideas to help make life a little easier and more pleasant on the home front.
Photo via Chromatic
To Spank Or Not To Spank?
For as long as anyone can remember, disciplining children has been a hot parenting topic. I think that we can all agree that we need to instill discipline and values in our children. The question lies in the method. How do we discipline our children? What is the right way? Is there even a right and wrong way?
For some, the Biblical principles of not sparing the rod apply. I have to admit that I see value in this principle. It has been tried and tested over the ages, and as long as certain guidelines are followed, it is quite effective in showing children that actions have consequences, and that they will have to face those consequences.
Spanking, however, has its detractors. Indeed, recent studies have shown that spanking just might prove to be harmful under certain circumstances. An article published in Pediatrics (the official journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics) earlier this week states that spanking young children might increase their risk for aggressive behavior in their later years. Here are the official results of the study:
Frequent use of CP (ie, mother’s use of spanking more than twice in the previous month) when the child was 3 years of age was associated with increased risk for higher levels of child aggression when the child was 5 years of age (adjusted odds ratio: 1.49 [95% confidence interval: 1.2–1.8]; P < .0001), even with controlling for the child's level of aggression at age 3 and the aforementioned potential confounding factors and key demographic features.
Bottom line: the study provides huge support to the followers of the no spanking principle.
My question is this: should we throw away the idea of spanking because of the study?
We are all still entitled to our own opinions. I am sure that there are those of you who are nodding their heads right now, agreeing with the study. I have to say, however, that I do not think that we should do away with spanking. It has a purpose, and done the right way, teaches children a lot of things.
I believe that in order for spanking to serve its purpose, we have to take note of these things:
1. There should be no sense of anger involved. We are disciplining our children to teach them a lesson, not to vent.
2. The child being disciplined should understand why he is being spanked. This is another reason parents should not spank their kids when they’re angry. The idea of cause and effect, actions and consequences, should be explained to the child being disciplined.
3. The parent should not fail to show the child being disciplined that he/she is loved despite the fact that he is being spanked. Again, this is part of the whole process. The child should understand that he is being taught a lesson, not in anger or hatred, but because it is part of growing up.
That’s my take on the spanking issue. What about you?
What About Cancelling Christmas?
I remember a conversation I had with a friend, which happened many years ago, very clearly to this day. We were talking about how some parents “kill Santa†for their kids. This memory was brought to mind afresh just minutes ago as I was reading an article written by Lorraine Sommerfeld. Titled “Tough love parenting: Parents who cancelled Christmas,†the article talks about “extreme†measures that some parents take in order to straighten out unmanageable kids.
She talked about some stories of parents “cancelling Christmas:â€
I wonder how many would feature tales like the year my mother cancelled Christmas.
Mournful little girls had to wait until noon to get their stockings, which had indeed been taken down and hidden. Mom was bigger than Santa Claus.
But a reader topped that one, too. Michael told me that the week before Christmas, his father went outside, shot twice into the air with a .22 rifle, then came back in and told two rowdy lads he’d killed Santa. My mother, apparently, had only delayed him.
This got me thinking…would I ever take on the tough love parenting stance to the extreme and do something such as cancelling Christmas? I cannot imagine myself telling our little ones that I have asked Santa not to drop by because they are behaving inappropriately, much less tell them I killed him. I suppose though, that cancelling Christmas can take on various forms.
Our Christmas plans are already set for the year, and the kids are not proving to be more trouble than they normally are, so I doubt that I will have the need to practice this kind of tough love this season. The article did give me some ideas on how we can give Christmas a little twist.
Perhaps, instead of getting all those presents from us on Christmas, we can ask them to pick out all the things they want to give away and then organize a little party for the less fortunate kids. That’s not exactly cancelling Christmas but teaches the kids a life lesson.
Anyhow, going back to tough love parenting…I find it particularly interesting that “frightening†children has a psychological and behavioral basis. Sommerfeld wrote that this is “the chance for kids to develop a behavioural conscience. What they see is that their actions have pushed Mom past a reasonable point. They will read past the content to the deeper meaning – there will be consequences for those actions.â€
Reflecting on that more, I am beginning to see her point. Remember my 4-year-old rebel? Should I go out on a limb and try this out?