If you’re going through a divorce, managing this time while also being a parent can be one of the biggest challenges you’ll ever experience. And while a divorce might ultimately be the right decision for you and your happiness, it can often be very hard on your children for years to come. Luckily, there are some things you can do and ways you can prepare for these challenges. [Read more…] about 3 Things To Consider Regarding Your Children When Going Through A Divorce
The truth is that divorce can be incredibly traumatizing. In a way, divorce can be like a death, leaving both people in pain, mourning the loss of a relationship that once meant the world to them.
After the divorce takes place, it may feel like a shock finding who you are again. Adjusting to becoming single again after being in a couple requires taking your time. You won’t settle into your new life overnight, particularly if you were married for a long time.
Going through a relationship separation is hard on everyone. But it can be especially hard if there are children involved. And, because emotions run so high and so much is at stake regarding a standard of living, parents have to figure out the best way to take care of their children in cases of separation and divorce. Not everyone always agrees on the best way to do this.
Think about some of the steps a parent may have to take through the separation process. It’s important to understand the stages of going through a divorce. There is also the matter of child custody. Beyond that, one parent probably will owe child support payments. And it is essential for lawsuits and court arrangements that everyone keeps the evidence that proves their perspective to be the correct one.
Going Through a Divorce
If you and your spouse decide to get a divorce, then there are lots of consequences to that action. Particularly when it comes to your kids, you need to figure out what age-appropriate facts to tell them. If your children are older, they will expect to know specific details about why the divorce is happening. If they are younger, there is different information that you have to tell them for their emotional stability. It all depends on context.
One point of conflict between parents when they go through a divorce is who is going to get custody of the children. This can be a very complicated, emotionally painful, and passionate discussion or sets of actions that have to occur. The important thing is the parents always keep in mind the children’s best interests. So many times, decisions get lost in politics or grudges that the kids get left behind in the wake of the arguments.
Child Support Payments
Then there is the matter of figuring out what child support payments which parent needs to make. This is based on a lot of different evidence. Perhaps one parent makes significantly more money than the other. Or, maybe one parent has more value in possessions. A judge should be able to look at all that information and figure out what child support payments should be.
No matter what the relationship is, if a case of divorce goes to court, it’s crucial that you keep evidence. Particularly when it comes to a custody battle over children, you want all evidence to support your case. So, you should be able to look over text messages and emails, and it should showcase how awesome of a person you are. You should keep this evidence and submit it to a judge if there’s ever a question of your character. [Read more…] about Steps To Take Care of Your Kids In the Case of Parental Separation
Not everyone gets the chance to have the kids after they get married. And, with many families going through divorce and then moving on, it’s fairly likely that at some point you just might be planning a wedding after you’ve had your kids. So what’s the problem?
It’s not that having children makes it harder to get married, but you need to juggle the kids and the wedding planning, and that can be tricky. Don’t let it stress you out though, many people are doing it, and you can too. Just use these tips and you’ll have the perfect weddings, with children in tow.
Use The Internet To Your Advantage
It can sometimes be hard to talk on the phone when you have little kids around, so the internet should be one of your best friends when it comes to wedding planning. You can great checklists, contact planners and venues, and even order your invitations, all with your computer. Making sure your ideal venue is available can be as simple as an email, and in that email you can also ask questions about seating and catering. [Read more…] about Planning A Wedding After Having Kids
Divorce is always painful and even traumatic not only for the spouses but most especially for their kids. Any child would find it hard to understand why his or her parents have to go their separate ways. [Read more…] about What You Need to Tell Your Kids About Divorce
It is very easy and common for estranged spouses to be so caught up with their own divorce woes and forget about their children’s feelings. In a very unfortunate family event like divorce, children will almost always have no say on the matter and yet they can be the most affected. Seeing two people they look up to going their separate ways and probably tearing each other apart can be one of the most traumatic experiences in their young lives. There is no question that a child would need help to cope with the realities of divorcing parents .
Acknowledge the Pain
Difficult as it may be, the divorcing parents should be looking out for their children as well especially during the most trying times. If you are in the process of divorcing your spouse and you think you have been dealt the worst deal, think again. There is someone hurting more than you are and that is most probably your child.
Talk with you child in a way he or she can understand and acknowledge the pain. It may not be expressed as clearly as the child wants to but it is real. Crying is not the only manifestation of pain. Often times, it is the child’s silence which is more difficult to interpret.
Do Not Add Confusion to the Pain
Divorcing parents should resist every opportunity to badmouth each other most especially in front of the children. The personal issues of parents simultaneously sounded off to their children may just be too much to handle at a certain point. Parents should try to keep the divorce proceedings in a civil level.
Children however have to be protected adequately if they are at the risk of any harm from any parent. If there is reason to believe that children must be forewarned of any possible danger, then it needs to be done. Of course, there is no room for exaggeration and false accusations which can only further confuse an already emotionally hurting child.
When all the legal proceedings have been done with, the only thing left to do is to live life. You have made your decision to divorce your spouse but life goes on for you, your estranged spouse, and your children. Presumably, you have come up with arrangements about custody, visiting rights, and all that stuff so everybody is expected to be moving within the parameters of these arrangements.
That takes care of the legal aspect but you still have the more personal challenge of living life on a daily basis after divorce. Your children will probably have many questions in their minds that will come out many days, months or years after. Remember this, you may no longer be a wife or husband to your spouse but you remain a parent to your child even after divorce, so be one.
About the Author:
Sara Angle is a professional blogger that shares tips and information about the divorce process. She writes for Widrig Law PLLC, a top divorce law firm in Nashville TN.
Clichés and jokes about in-laws abound for a good reason. And whether it’s your side of the family or your spouse’s side that’s making life a little (or a lot) harder, you still need to learn to deal with the matter in a positive manner if you want to set a good example with your kids. Granted that there’s no foolproof formula for dealing with monster in-laws, learning some coping mechanisms will definitely make your life easier and contribute to a happier marriage.
One of the most important steps you need to take is to let go of the negativity. This is easier said than done, but if you are to fix your relationship with your in-laws you have to let go of your negative attitude towards them. Of course, it’s perfectly natural to feel negative emotions when they do something irritating, but you need to be able to control your response so that you can understand the root of the problem and so move forward in a more productive manner. Kids pick up on emotions really well and will develop a negative attitude towards your in-laws if you don’t watch yourself. Even worse, they might end up unable to handle stress and cope with difficult people and issues in a more positive way as they grow.