When we speak of children loving one more parent than the other, we are doing so in a context that goes beyond favoritism. Favoritism can be as simple as preferring one parent more in going to specific places or doing some activities. This can go both ways at any point in time and is generally not something to be bothered about. Loving one parent more than the other however can be a sign of serious falling out on the part of the child due to some complex undercurrent in family life.
Perceived Absence of Genuine Love and Concern
Children are the most sensitive beings in the world. They would feel if a parent is purposely holding back expressions of love or simply do not care. This is even with the profusion of oral declarations of love.
Like any other human being, children are naturally drawn to people who show them much love and attention. Thus, the parent who is able to provide this more stands to hold the love of the child more. Again, this happens even if the giving of such love and attention is not intended to draw a child’s love away from the other parent.
Physical Absence that is Not Bridged by Any Substitute
The distance between a parent and a child can create a gap that may be difficult to close if there are no efforts exerted to bridge it. Although there is no real substitute for the physical presence of a parent in a child’s life, there are still ways which can still make children feel that such parent still exists and love him or her. Technology has made it possible to keep in touch in spite of the distance.
Even short visits are much more easily done today than before. If the physically distant parent does not take advantage of these ways, he or she becomes a stranger to the family. Loving a “stranger” is easily said than done especially with children.
Good Parent-Bad Parent
It is a fact of life that there are good parents and bad ones. It does not require scientific explanation to understand why a child would love a parent which he or she perceives as good and dislike or even hate the one perceived as bad. Children will be needing much guidance in this aspect since we all know that the good and bad in the real world may not be readily understandable to a child.
It is inherent in children to love their parents but such love can be lost if parents fail to take care of that love.
Originally posted on October 15, 2013 @ 12:26 pm