Reuters reports that “Nearly a third of U.S. parents know surprisingly little about typical infant development, and this lack of understanding can rob their babies of much-needed mental stimulation, researchers said on Sunday.”

What an alarming statement! Parents are the first teachers of their children and if they do not have a good understanding of what babies need, then the babies will be on the losing side. It is true that there are no clear cut rules as to what a parent must do. Indeed, many say that there is really no way to ensure that you will be a good parent. It is something that comes with experience.

So how did the researchers come to the conclusion that a considerable number of American parents do not know enough about babies? Dr. Heather Paradis of the University of Rochester Medical Center in New York shares:

The study she conducted covered more than 10,000 parents with 9-month-old babies and asked questions such as:

-Should a 1-year-old child be able to tell between right from wrong?
-Should a 1-year-old child be ready to begin toilet-training?

The passing score is 5 out of 11. Those who got 4 and below are considered to have a lack of understanding of parenting with regard to babies.

Maybe we should all see a copy of the questionnaire and answer them ourselves.

I honestly did not want to write about this but the topic kept popping into my head and just wouldn’t disappear no matter what I did. People who do not have children and see other people running around like a headless chicken in order to keep up with their kids (especially those tots in their terrible twos) would probably think that being a parent would make staying fit an easier task. And why not? Expending all that energy running after one toddler (let alone 2 or more) should be enough exercise to burn away all those calories, shouldn’t it?

Unfortunately, there is more to losing weight than that. I can’t exactly explain why taking care of toddlers and losing weight do not always come together but I do know that a mom (or a dad, for that matter) may have to actually squeeze in an exercise regimen to keep fit.

This is hard, trust me. For stay home parents, it is already hard enough. For working parents, it is even harder. With work, parenting, homemaking, and other essential activities that we engage in, where do we find the time to exercise?

I suppose the answer would depend on many different factors – the children’s ages, your work schedule, your energy level, and more. I think that the bottom line is deciding that you want to exercise, that you want to make fitness one of your priorities. If this is firmly established, I am sure that you can find some time in your hectic life to exercise – even if it is only an hour a week. What do you think?

No, I am not talking about walking the runway like Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss. What I have in mind is being super (role) models for our kids. I am drawing inspiration for this post from an entry in Dr. Robyn’s blog, entitled Powerful Role Models: Seven Ways to Make a Positive Impact on Children.

As I was reading through the entry, I was taken back in time. I remembered how, as a child, I looked up to may parents so much. In my eyes, they could do no wrong. My mom was a strict disciplinarian while my dad pampered us a bit more. They both walked their talk, as they say. My perception changed somewhat as I grew older but looking back now, I realize just how much my parents’ example has shaped who I am today.

Seeing how I regarded my parents as the main role models in my life, I am quite scared as to what my children would see in me. Would they respect me in much the same way I held my parents and their principles in high regard? Would I be able to live up to their expectations or would I be a disappointment to them?

This is where the 7th point in Dr. Robyn’s post becomes really helpful – demonstrating confidence in who we are. Being a parent is really the best – and the toughest – job in the world and realizing that as parents, we have to be “supermodels” for our kids can make it even tougher. Then again, we should not be afraid to make mistakes and apologize for them if the situation arises. The important thing is that we show a good example to our children – in the best way we can.

Being a parent is a tough job – I am sure most of you will agree with me on that. It does have its wonderful moments that cannot be replaced by anything else but the fact remains that there are days which are going to try the most patient person. There are days when the stress will seem to be too much too bear. I ran across a post from Dr. Robyn J.A. Silverman which presents the ABCs of parenting. Now I would be the last person to simplify things to match the alphabet, to be honest – parenting is so much more than ABC – but I really found this list helpful. Allow me to share some of the letters of the alphabet and how they can help parents take on the challenges of their lives.

A- Accept the things you can not change: Single parenting? Step parenting? ADHD parenting? Just dealing with time crunches, making lunches, bunches and bunches of bills? It’s important to recognize that there are some things you can not control, surrender, move on.

B- Breathe: When things get hairy, scary, and you feel like you can barely hold on, take a step back, breathe, and be calm.

C- Count your blessings. Even though you have the weight of the world on you right now and feel far from compassionate for others who have things much worse than you do, there is some value in taking a moment to look at the things that are going right today, such as your child’s tantrum-free morning or how your spouse took out the trash…

All these three things, I find difficult, especially when faced with seemingly insurmountable things. Yet, I realize that they can indeed help me become more efficient and loving at the same time. I hope you see things the same way as well.

The best way to get good tips and tricks on how to properly balance parenthood and personal life is to learn and read it from the people who know. Such can be found from sites that have used the services offered by organizations as the Los Angeles SEO when it comes to affordable search engine optimization and many have been directed towards their way.

For sure, parents are looking for advanced practices on how to become better parents. Moods and the things they do at home are not enough. There are varying techniques in the world of parenting today and people just have to be more open to them. Books may be of help but with the way technology has been spread today, the web is where updated facts and resources are at.

Be assured that there are a lot of ideas over the web today for better parenting practices. They are just waiting to be found!

While there is no question that most parents today know the responsibilities of growing their own breed while at the same time relying on other areas for potential improvement of the same, people often check the web for best sites which can help improve their current practice. Surely, these best sites will often be the first to come out when links or search queries thanks to the expertise of affordable search engine optimization techniques by companies such as Los Angeles SEO.

In fact, people may have a hard time choosing the best one since it is practically hard to select which site truly provides the best resource and information people are looking for these days.

There are a lot of sites on parenting today and each has its own line of specialty. While parenting may be simple to some, many would be amazed at the things they are missing out in their journey of parenthood. It is these little things that they can only locate once they start checking out the leading sites of parenting practices today.

I’ve never been into video games, which probably explains why I’ve always told N that she wouldnt be allowed a Gameboy or the like until she was 10 years old. So imagine my annoyance when at the family Christmas get-together, my 11-year-old half sister (who N adores) lent N her Gameboy, and N was entranced, showing that she clearly had some talent despite being only 5-years-old.

Then a few days ago, her friend Rose (as mentioned in the previous post) brings the latest Gameboy to school, which was a present for her birthday. It was the envy of all the kids at school, especially N. Noticing this when I picked her up from school that day, I gently (but firmly) reminded her that she wasnt getting one until she was 10. She was very-grown up about it, as if resigned to her fate….

Now feeling guilty, I spoke to my husband about it (who, has been desperate for N to be old enough to play video games with him, a hobby he gave up when we had the kids). He said that if we had a “big one” (i.e. something he can play too) at the beach house, which she can only play on weekends or holidays, then MAYBE we can bend this rule a bit. Hmmmmmmm…….

The jury’s not out on thus, but I didn find an interesting article about ways parents can make video games “good” for kids, which I’ll be blogging about next.

Much has been said about full-time motherhood and how great it is for moms to be able to spend their time with their kids while dad goes to work every weekday. To many mothers out there, motherhood is a full-time job. It’s actually more full-time than your regular nine-to-fiver. It’s a job 24/7, 365 days a year (add more during leap years). But what about the full-time dad?

Hello folks. I’m Angelo and I’ll be filling in for Lara while her family takes care of some pirate matters. Why all this talk about the full-time dad, you ask? I consider myself to be one.

Well, actually fatherhood is also a full-time job. And having to go to work to make a decent living for the family is considered part of that. But in my case it’s different. I work at home. That’s not your usual setup for fathers, but I do know a handful of dads who do the same.

My work and business involve going online and working on Web and content development projects. So that means I can practically work anywhere there’s a decent Internet connection. And I sometimes do work at caf�s outside of the house. But most of the time, I’m right here in my home office.

Working at home can be both rewarding and difficult, especially when you have one preschool-aged child and a toddler like I do (another one’s on the way!). Want to find out why? Watch this space. I’ll be writing about my experiences every other day here on the Parenting Blog.

One of my resolutions for the New Year is to be a better Mom. Better, in that I am more conscious of how I am raising my kids to be happy, well-rounded and responsible adults. I have discovered that raising a brat is by far the easier way. Simply because all we have to do is give them what they want as opposed to thinking things through and giving them only what they need.

Heres a thoughtful letter written by a Filipino father to his daughter on the subject. It was printed in Business World Magazine.

How Brats Are Created

Who says only valuable jewelries can become heirlooms? My daughter showed me a copy of a letter written by her friend’s Dad on her 13th birthday. A few months after he wrote it, he died of a heart attack. Today, this letter is regarded as a family heirloom, shared not just with the immediate members of the family, but shown proudly to relatives and friends alike.

I felt the message in this beautiful letter should be shared with as many people as possible. So I asked my daughter if her friend - the letter’s addressee-would allow me to reprint it in BusinessWorld. She said there shouldn’t be a problem, except that a note should probably precede the letter asking the readers to share this with their young married children. Hah! a not-so-subtle inference that BusinessWorld readers are not exactly “young parents” anymore.

So, dear readers, do share this letter with your young married children. They will certainly find this letter - as I did - a very insightful treatise on how brats are created.

“Daughter Dearest Happy 13th Birthday!

“When you came to this world 13 years ago, you brought your Mom and I a lot of joy! We’ve always wanted a daughter and God in His wisdom gifted us with you.

“This is not to cast any aspersions at your four older brothers; they are also a great blessing and we love them very much, but boys are boys, and I look forward to the day when I am old and gray to have you by my side. I can’t see this happening with your brothers; you know what I mean, as we have talked about this at the dining-room table many a time.

“You have also heard me say that we are gifted with a lot of material wealth. That’s something we should be very grateful to the Lord about, but we should be aware that this has been loaned to us, as you too are loaned to us by God and that we will be asked to give a full accounting when our day of reckoning comes.

“The reason for this letter is to warn you about one big, big danger you and your brothers may face in the next few years. I have seen it happen in other families. I don’t want to see it happen here.

“I am referring to having you guys grow up as brats!” ‘Brat-manship’ is the process one has to go through to become a brat!

“Unfortunately, it is an ailment imposed by parents! They are the creators of the brats!

“In their desire to try to save their children from the difficulties they have been through, they do whatever possible to shield them from this. Little do they realize, that it is precisely these difficulties that have made them successful. Their love for their children may make them overprotective. They may even prevent them from taking public transportation. They come up with all sorts of rationalizations, going by public transportation is not safe, the buses are too crowded, the fumes on the road are bad for ones health, and so on!

“They mean well, but in the process, they deprive their children of what it really means to live in a city like Manila which is comprised of two strata of society - the ‘haves’ and the ‘have-nots!‘ And sad to say some of ‘the haves’ live in their little world. Unaware of that sampaguita vendor, drenched in the rain, so that her siblings may get a least one meal that day.

“The other day, I was with an elderly wise gentleman, we are at the Polo Club waiting for his car. There was a girl, about your age. She, too, was waiting for her car. When her vehicle got there, she jumped into the front seat, and as she did, tossed her beautiful pair of riding boots into the back seat. She then asked the driver if her Mom was home. ‘Wala po! Nagma-mah jong (She’s not home. She’s playing mah jong),’ came the reply! The car drove off.

“My friend turned to me and said, ‘There is an example of the under- privileged rich.’ Then he followed with, ‘They have everything and they have nothing.’

“This incident, short as it was, left me with a deep impression. I guess this is why I am writing this letter.

“Your Mom and I have tried to raise you kids to realize that our country is made up of the very rich and those who may not even have enough to have one decent meal a day. I hope you never lose sight of this. This is why we
have taken it upon ourselves to adopt a squatter family during Christmas and share with them some of some things to make their Christmas more meaningful.

In the process, we hope that you and your brothers will appreciate the conditions we live in. In the process, I hope that you always have compassion or these lesser fortunate. So that next time you see that sampaguita vendor knocking at our car window drenched in rain you do not get annoyed, but instead pull out your wallet and share with her in a small way your allowance.

“You will notice your brothers take public transportation to go to UP. It’s not that we can’t afford another car; we can’t afford for them to grow up thinking that its part of their ‘birth right’ to be in the ruling class.

“This is why we insisted that you do your bed in the morning, and to pick up your own toys and clothes, rather than have a yaya trailing you.

“And I could go on and on. As you are apt to say, ‘You catch my drift!’ “When you feel you are not getting enough money in your allowance, or get new shoes like your friends always had or the latest fad of Guess jeans, take this letter out and reread what I have written.

“We love you far too much to create a brat!

“Your Loving Father”

[tags]raising kids, spoiled brat, father[/tags]

Aside from filling their stocking with goodies and the presents from my husband and I, Santa also bring my two children something from their “lists”(please don’t mention the word spoiled). For my nearly-2 boy, the choice was easy - a wooden Thomas the Tank Engine set, his current obsession. For my preschooler, it wasnt as easy as every month she’d come up with something new she wanted. A few months ago it was a My Little Pony house/castle, then it was the Superman Matchbox activity game, then the Barbie 12 Dancing Princesses doll (which her classmate had, of course).

By the time Christmas rolled around, it had changed to several other highly-commercialized, overpriced toys which would probably keep her interest for a week tops, but there are kids for you. So I held off her “Santa Present” for as long as I could until I finally got my husband to the mall and told him to deal with it. In true male-style, he led me to the nearest Sports shop, asked the shop assistant for kid roller skates and voila- she had her present.

Its the strangest thing, but despite her not mentioning skates at all in her Christmas desires, when we went to that Email Santa website, it was what she mentioned FIRST in her letter!!! I don’t know how my husband knew, but the moral of the story is that sometimes, just sometimes, we Moms have to let Daddies work their own magic with the kids.

[tags]Christmas, Holidays, Christmas presents[/tags]