I haven’t come across a parent who wouldn’t want the best for his or her child. Truth be told, most of the parents I know now are really into participative and involved parenting. They (including myself) would be present at every school presentation or competition, feverishly helping children finish their projects, and egging them on to get high grades and honors. It is no longer uncommon for some parents to envision their child to be the next matinee idol or super model and doing everything in their power to achieve this. Many refer to this extraordinary effort to push a child to achievement limits as stage parenting.
Your teenager has been excited about it for months but for a dad, the high school prom can be something to dread. Dads might view prom as a dangerous night when teens are likely to break the rules, break the bank and maybe even break hearts. Some prom-night rules are evergreen but a lot has changed since your senior year, Dad. It may be time for some new information. More »
As parents, we always strive to raise a happy and peaceful family. But this is not an easy task because of the huge responsibilities involved. It takes a lot of practice and patience in learning the ropes of parenting.
No parent is perfect. What’s important is we strive to better ourselves as we go through life’s journey and while we are learning life’s lessons, we can teach them to our children at the same time.
Here then are some simple tips you can practice to make you a happier parent and to enable you to raise responsible children.
Firstly, be content with what you have. If you think happiness is somewhere else and something that needs to be achieved through time, forget it. It’s just there and it’s all a matter of recognizing it.
Most first time parents due to inexperience, panic in the face of medical emergencies. Me and my wife for example have two totally different approaches to emergencies such as the frequent bumps and scratches that sends your child running to you so learning to recognize something serious is the key and experience would educate you best. My wife gets into a panicked state every time she sees blood accompanied by the uncontrollable cries of our child, I merely step back, take a look at the situation and analyze the situation if it needs medical attention or if first aid can do the trick. For example, an open wound and compound fracture is always serious so speed to the hospital for care. High fever during teething is normal and can be handled with analgesics while being in constant contact with your pediatrician who would tell you to get help if needed.
Having experienced medical emergencies as a volunteer which developed my abilities to recognize life-threatening and trivial injuries, just hope more people would recognize this as a vital skill to have for it helps you lower your insurance premiums. Do some research on the web for health tips that can add to your knowledge of which emergencies to treat seriously and which are mere casual. Information and knowledge is the key, the more trips you take to the ER, the more a risk you are for the insurance firm so they have the option to ask more for insurance.
Are you a good listener? I actually find it amusing that I got the idea for this post from one of those online quizzes in a social networking site. I like taking those quizzes when I am passing away time. They may not be as accurate as they can be but they are fun and sometimes, provides valuable insight – like this one. As I was reading my results (I am supposedly a good listener although I don’t always come across as one), I could not help by relate the topic to being a parent.
As Munashe shares in his blog, the art of listening is perhaps one of the most important – if not THE most important – things that a parent should develop. What does the art of listening entail?
I believe that it is more than sitting there and hearing the things that your child has to say. It is not a passive activity but an interactive one. You actively listen by understanding what your child is saying and contributing something to the conversation. More so, listening entails understanding that maybe, at times, your child just wants to be heard and does not really need to be told what to do.
I think that is one problem that arises when children share things with their parents – we sometimes automatically think that we need to provide a solution to whatever they are presenting. Have you ever thought that maybe your child just wants to rant and let off steam and be heard? I sure know that I feel that way a lot of times.
So do you take the time out to really listen to your child? How do you listen?
Depression, anger, lack of social skills and many more, these are classical signs of either underlying sickness or too much stress. Nope, you’re not crazy but might need help, who needs psychologists who charge tons of money. Get help from people like you who may have overcome these challenges themselves and have ample experience to help you through. From seasoned professionals who are well versed in such cases or merely people who want to help and have dealt with people like you, what’s important is to accept that something is wrong and that help is needed.
Acceptance is one of the most difficult things to do, for no one, and we mean no one wants to admit it outright they have issues. Pent up anger can get out of hand and easily turn violent without therapy and counseling. Have a child who seems out of the game most of the time, get help quick so you can get help on tips how you can help them develop into more lively kids.
Getting help is the first step, recovery is the ultimate goal which we all strive to attain. Learn how people overcome fear, anxiety and dread of things we take fore granted. Learn how your fears can be turned into positive approaches to the most common problems we face. The current economic slump isn’t helping either, lost your job, need help or simply want a sympathetic ear to ease away the pain. Depression is so hard to battle when you’re alone. You sacrifice your health, family and life for something that can be addresses with simple yet effective conversations. Get help, get on your way to a healthier you, inside and out!
My four-year-old Ollie gets a bump/wound/scratch almost daily, and a few months ago had a bad accident in our garden where he cut his head open and was rushed to the ER. While playing with his big sister, he fell through the fence constructed by our handyman and nearly fell into our pool (which had just been cleaned out and empty). He was grabbed just in time by the handyman, so didn’t fall into the pool but slammed his head on the tile. My husband saw the whole thing and was going to kill the handyman for his shoddy work (it wasn’t nailed in properly), but he did save Ollie’s life…so it was a hard one. Luckily Ollie didn’t need stitches and aside from my husband being covered in blood ala Carrie, it turned out to be a minor injury. It could have been much much worse though, so we are grateful and have since taken extra precautions to make sure that all areas in our home were safe. Ollie was feeing a bit traumatized for the next few days (as were all of us), but I think he’s recovered now.
Here are some great tips from After The Injury, a really useful website for parents who have to deal with their child’s injuries. Whether your child’s injury is big or small, it helps to remember these things so that your child recovers faster.
While doctors know that injury prevention is the best “medicine,” the sad truth is that kids still do get hurt- lots of them- even with the most vigilant parents. In fact, 9.2 million children are treated in an emergency room for an injury each year, making it equally important for parents to know how to handle what happens after the injury.
1. Let your child know that he or she is safe. In the first days and weeks following an injury many children fear that something bad might happen to them again. Learn more about helping your child with new fears or worries.
2. Allow children to talk about their feelings and worries, if they want to. Let your child know that it’s ok to feel a little upset. The circumstances of an injury can be frightening, and it’s not always easy to know how to talk with your child about it. Here are some things that other parents have found helpful for talking with their child.
3. Go back to normal routines. It is important to help your child get plenty of sleep, eat regular meals, keep up with schoolwork, and spend time with friends. Here are some options to consider if the injury gets in the way of things s/he used to do.
4. Increase time with family and friends. Children who get support from family and friends seem to do better in recovering after upsetting events. Try reading together, playing games, or watching movies together. Listen to what some parents had to say about how to help their children remain connected after an injury.
5. Take time to deal with your own feelings. In addition to all of the things you do to help your child, it’s important to remember to take good care of yourself. Learn more about your own reactions and get tips for taking care of yourself.
6. Keep in mind people in the same family can react in different ways. Your child’s feelings and worries about the injury might be different from yours. It’s important to monitor how your child is doing and when reactions might signal trouble. Learn how to gauge your child’s emotional recovery and identify any reactions that might need special attention.
Visit After the Injury to read full tip sheets, learn more about child injury and pain care, take a quiz to rate your child’s reactions to injury, and create a personalized care plan to help parents help their child recover from injury.
Photo via Ramberg Media
Ever noticed how kids will keep pestering you just when you are intent on doing something. The more engrossed you are, the more they will bug you. You just want an hour to enjoy your game and they want to play it for you. It can be annoying!
Truth is they just want to be part of what you’re doing. If you are having fun, they want to have fun with you. If you enjoy cooking, they will try and enjoy it too. They love helping you decorate for christmas. They’ll even try to help wrap presents.
Of course there are times that you have to say no but before you tell them they can’t why not check if there is someway they can take part. For example, you’re busy in the kitchen getting dinner ready and you don’t really want them around your knives. How about just having them peel the veggies or wash the potatoes.
If you’re painting, why not give your kid a paintbrush too and assign him his own corner to color? He may not do as big a space as you and his corner may not be as even but that is easily taken care of.
Do you love word games, the crosswords maybe? Get a book of word puzzles that the two of you can do together. Invite him to bring his puzzles to where you sit and you can sit companionably together as you each solve your games.
These may seem like small things for them to do but the effect on them is huge. Kids love to “help out”. Let them and watch as they amaze you with what they can do.
Photo via Dynamoash
Some times our kid’s need a little helping hand in remembering what we ask them to do. If you are a parent of a child who is old enough to start helping out around the house…You will know what I mean.
Some children just do not comprehend and know how to complete tasks from start to finish. So they ask mom or dad over and over how to do whatever it is they are attempting to do.
I thought I would take a moment and list a few things that might be great to put on a child’s list of To Do’s and To Not Do’s. Making a list and posting it in words your child can read will not only help you save all the questions. It will also help you to encourage your child to read.
Toddlers Ages 3 to 5
1. Pick up your toys.
2. Put your toys where they belong.
3. Put your dirty clothes in the hamper.
4. When you are done playing put your things
Kindergartners Ages 5 to 6
1. Pick up your things in your room.
2. Put everything where it should go.
3. Put your dirty clothes in the hamper.
4. Set out your clothes for the next morning.
5. Try and make your bed.
6. Help set the table.
Children Ages 6 to 10
1. Clean your room.
2. Make your bed.
3. Put toys away and other play items.
4. Put dirty clothes in the hamper
5. Help fold and put clean clothes away.
6. Help set the table.
7. Learn to pick up around the front room.
8. Learn to vacuum.
9. Learn to dust and clean surfaces in bathroom.
Children Ages 10 to 12
1. Clean your room.
2. Make your bed.
3. Put belongings away after play or use.
4. Put dirty clothes in hamper.
5. Help fold and put clean clothes away.
6. Set the table and wash dishes.
7. Learn to clean and vacuum front room.
8. Clean the bathroom.
9. Take care of personal belongings.
10. Put your bike away or any outside items.
11. Feed and take care of a pet.
12. Take out the trash.
13. Help around the house.
14. Be willing to learn new things.
Teenagers 13 and up
1. Do all of the above listed things.
2. Help mow the lawn and pick up around the yard.
3. Do extra chores for added allowances.
4. Baby sit as you grow more responsible.
5. Clean the house.
6. Learn to cook a little.
7. Learn to do laundry.
8. Learn the value of money.
9. Do some volunteer work.
Now Don’ts For All Ages.
1. Do not break house rules.
2. Do not talk to strangers.
3. Do not go any place alone or without
your parents permission.
4. Do not disrespect other people.
5. Do not talk back to teachers, parents or
people with authority.
6. Do not leave your bike or belongings in
places they do not belong.
7. Do not go places by your self.
8. Do not leave your mess for others to clean up.
9. Do not hit, kick or bite.
10. Follow all of your parents DO NOT Rules.
I am sure you get the basic idea of what you want your child to do and to not do. Just make up a list and post it on the door. You may want to add a how to clean your room list. It is always helpful to use simple words that the kids understand and can relate too. You may want to show them where the dirty clothes go.
Just a few ideas to help make life a little easier and more pleasant on the home front.
Photo via Chromatic
One Dad’s Rhymin’ Requests
by David Levin
On Father’s Day each father plans
A morning of sleeping late.
But on his day, Dad finds that he
Just can’t sleep in past eight.
On Father’s Day it’s hammock time.
Pile on newspapers galore
And please don’t worry if I doze,
Dig me out by half-past four.
On Father’s Day that dirty car
Will not be washed by me.
Let Mom and the children do the job,
While I laze beneath a tree.
On Father’s Day the kids all think
Dad probably needs a tie.
But I just want a hug and kiss
(And maybe a new hi-fi).
On Father’s Day the household chores
Well, I refuse to do ‘em.
The lawn, the trash, the dishes?
Let Daddy snooze right through ‘em.
On Father’s Day the ballpark calls
Baseball, the bleachers, the sun.
While Dad is off fetching the snacks…
Crack! Hey, was that a home run?
Father’s Day ends with story time,
The highlight of Dad’s fun day.
We cuddle up, the kids and I,
Without them it’s just Sunday.