Top 5 Parenting Issues And My Take On Them
We don’t call being a parent the toughest job on earth for nothing, do we? Any parent knows that this job can very well take all that you’ve got to give – and then some. New parents will also learn – very quickly, I must add – that they will be judged no matter what they do. From feeding habits to toys to education – these issues will always be raised, and controversy is not far behind. Here are some of the top parenting issues today (at least based on my experience) and what I think of them. Don’t hesitate to join in the conversation and let me know what you think!
#1: Spanking
I’ve already written a post on this, and I know just how divided parents are over the issue. Some experts say that spanking can cause children to become more aggressive as adults, while others think that disciplining them in this manner can make them understand the principle of consequences. I lean towards the latter, as long as it is clear that the emphasis is on discipline and not punishment. I know a LOT of people who were spanked as kids and turned out pretty well as adults. 
#2: Co-sleeping
Ahh, children need their own beds and their own bedrooms, right? Proponents of co-sleeping highlight the fact that children do need a psychological blanket, and parents serve as that. However, co-sleeping presents various problems: risk of asphyxiation for young kids, too much dependency, etc. I think that co-sleeping is fine from time to time, but it must not become a habit. You would want your kids to grow up learning how to sleep alone, wouldn’t you?
#3: Medication for behavioral problems
These days, a lot of children seem to be diagnosed for ADD and other similar problems. There are doctors who will not hesitate to prescribe medication to treat certain conditions. Should you immediately take their advice? I am a staunch believer in the power of medicine, but I would hesitate if my child were to be prescribed medication for behavioral problems. I’ll get a second, even a third, opinion; and then look for treatment options that do not involve medication.
#4: Breast feeding
The general consensus is the breast feeding is still best for babies (and mommies). Medically speaking, there is no point for debate. However, breast feeding simply doesn’t work for some women. My take is that we should breast feed when we can, and if it doesn’t work, then use formula. Simple.
#5: Underage drinking
My stand on this is very clear: no alcohol till you’re of age. Some parents bank on the premise that the kids are going to do it outside of the house anyway, so might as well allow them to do it at home. At least they can keep an eye on the kids, right? I don’t buy that, do you?
So, let’s get the ball rolling. What are your thoughts on these issues?
16 Responses
Post a Comment
You must be logged in to post a comment.
April 30th, 2010 at 8:41 pm
I totally agree with your take on all of these. I think the biggest we problem we face is dealing with all the people who judge us when we make decisions regarding the above issues.
Is it just me or are people a lot more judgy about the way other people raise their kids than they used to be?
Great post, thanks!
May 2nd, 2010 at 3:02 pm
Dido, to the above comment. But in addition, I think you invite the judgment by making it important to be approved of and go looking for it. I don’t give a rat’s A what another person or parent thinks of what I’m doing. I’m going about it the best I know how and so is my son. People in general, need to stop pushing their opinions on others. Sooooo, here’s to judgers- glad you are there because you serve some purpose- and here’s to me- who doesn’t give a damn!
May 7th, 2010 at 12:39 am
I respect your opinion. However, my experience of using spanking as a punishment has been pretty negative to be honest. I prefer to avoid it as much as I can, using it only as a last resort.
May 7th, 2010 at 2:19 pm
“various problems: risk of asphyxiation for young kids, too much dependency, etc” ….My toddler co-slept with us until his 3 month old brother came along (who now co-sleeps). He is the happiest, most well adjusted child. We have never had a nighttime struggle. He is not clingy at all. And I must add…I have never gotten out of bed in the middle of the night to feed a baby. I think you do what works for your own family. But when you worry about what struggles you “may” face in the future or do things because it is the “correct” way to parent, you miss out on a lot of beautiful moments.
May 7th, 2010 at 6:52 pm
I agree with most of what you have said, however I have seen a very negative result from spanking children, also I think that when a parent is thinking about medications for their childs behavior needs they need to have an observation in the classroom without the child knowing to get a clear picture of what is needed and have a good understanding of their needs.
May 9th, 2010 at 9:37 am
“But when you worry about what struggles you “may” face in the future or do things because it is the “correct” way to parent, you miss out on a lot of beautiful moments.”–>Very true!
Happy Mother’s Day to you all!
May 9th, 2010 at 6:21 pm
Thanx alot for the last comment, Im a new mom and often get caught up in the “correct” way to do things, and honestly it causes alot more stress. Im ani-spanking and my husband is pro..still no solution he just does his way n i do it mine. My breast fed boy is so attached we always co-sleep no problems so far and we all get a better nights sleep. And I have a very strict opinion on breast feeding, everyone could n should do it. I think people have a very unrealistic view of breast feeding when they are pregnant which leads to failure. Breast feeding is going to be challenging! like everything else in parenting.. Happy mothers day!
May 11th, 2010 at 9:45 am
Breastfeeding is a complicated one. Part of what makes it hard is that (in contrast to two generations ago, when – as my grandmother said – you were considered barbaric if you breastfed your baby) today all the subliminal and not so-subliminal messages that are sent by society are that you are a second-class mother if you don’t breastfeed. Which is very hard for women who are having a hard time – they may persist and drive themselves crazy in the pursuit of breastfeeding, when what their baby really needs is a calm, functioning mother.
May 28th, 2010 at 11:11 am
i like your post….i agree with your medication point of view proper consultation is necassary before jumping to medicine
June 8th, 2010 at 1:01 am
Porn Blocker
Protect your family from porn. If your’re children have access to a computer please click below to learn more.
http://a36a180kp3vqbuhfs0zdpjqca6.hop.clickbank.net/
June 16th, 2010 at 5:33 pm
I agree with you on all those points except underage drinking. I think kids are gonna find alcohol somewhere anyways, so parents should teach their children to keep their drinking within reason. Things like safe grads are great. There’s a limit to how much you can drink, rides are arranged, you have to have an invitation, and there’s some parents there to keep things in control.
http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/aa67/aa67.htm
“Each year, approximately 5,000 young people under the age of 21 die as a result of underage drinking; this includes about 1,900 deaths from motor vehicle crashes, 1,600 as a result of homicides, 300 from suicide, as well as hundreds from other injuries such as falls, burns, and drownings”.
Having a responsible adult around could get rid of some of the bad things that happen when kids are drinking. Having a parent there taking keys away from people who’ve been drinking, preventing fights, etc. would make things a lot safer.
June 25th, 2010 at 4:52 am
I agree on points 2, 3 and 4.
Re Spanking – theres been numerous research that indicates rewards as well as punishments are not effective at changing behaviour in people. I’d highly recommend reading Alfie Kohns “Punished by Rewards” for an interesting (and very challenging) take on this topic.
Re Drinking – I believe the French have a very sensible approach to drinking, most children are raised with respect for alcohol from an early age and getting drunk is typically discouraged. Unfortunately in Britain, most childrens experience of alochol is seeing adults getting obliterated at family parties or coming home from the pub smashed. The message we tend to send to children is “When you get to 18, you too can go to the pub and write yourself off… but not until you’re 18 !!”.
July 5th, 2010 at 3:09 pm
My father had the same take on spanking you did. I became a life-long spanking fetishist. Spanking teaches a kid nothing. At least nothing you want it to teach.
July 6th, 2010 at 6:34 pm
Great post on problems facing parents! On behavioral medications, I agree with you that you should ask for multiple opinions and consider other treatment possibilities. I believe that many children would benefit from other drug-free approaches to treatment, such as limiting sugar intake, keeping a regular sleep schedule, and getting a lot of excercise.
July 7th, 2010 at 5:56 pm
I am a parenting speaker and author. On this issue of hitting kids, what we do know is that the research is in. In an analysis of 88 studies over 62 years it is clear that hitting kids is simply punishment and has clear downsides. Yes, we know those who were hit and are fine but each smack we give a child increases the risk of problems like impaired parent-child relationship, poorer mental health, increased aggression and so on.
The analogy is that many of us were raised with parents who smoked everywhere and we are fine but many of us aren’t. We have heart problems and cancer or lung disorders. It’s about risk.
And it’s simply not a nice way to raise kids. We hit them, they hit others.
July 10th, 2010 at 1:37 am
I like what you said about the underage drinking! I work with teenagers and find the subject of underage drinking to be something they have a tough time understanding. I think as an adult, its important to communicate that there is nothing wrong with alcohol, it’s not a bad thing as long as it is used responsably. But with that being said, in our country it is illegal to drink when you are under 21- and thats that.