It’s Daddy here. Apologies for that last post- not by Lara- just something I found in the drafts by an old author, as I’m supposed to be covering for Lara while she is away at the beach for a few days with some friends. Obviously, I haven’t done a very good job….:-)
Natasha, our six year old, and Oliver, our three year old, LOVE playing Wii. When Mummy is home and in charge, there is a very strict rule that Wii is only to be played on weekends and even then there are time limits. Well when Mum is away, we all come out and play! Parenting Daddy-style. The kids love it of course, as we stay up until the wee hours and they know it’s a one-off as Mummy would be furious!
I admit that it’s completely lame on my part. It reflects on my laziness to be more creative and proactive as a parent. It’s terrible, really, and I do get why. The kids should be outside running in the fresh air using their own imagination to play. And I should be laying down foundations for life that are not based on instant gratification. In my defense, I find it quite hard to be a single-parent to two young chidren (even if just for a few days) when they are so used to Mum being the central figure of discipline. This especially as it’s the holidays and they don’t normally have so much time on their hands. Plus there is little Wills to keep an eye on (who also seems to have an early affection for Wii himself!)
The latest Wii obsession of the kids and I is the Mii Golf game. It’s completely addictive and just an incredible amount of fun!
So here are five points that I have prepared in my defense, in anticipation of Lara’s wrath when she comes back tomorrow. It’s the best I could come up with!
1. Physical co-ordination
There is no doubt that the kids have gotten to improve some of their physical skills. Eye-had coordination for one- whether that be with their aim, timing or anticipation. Nat is naturally sporty and so has a very good eye for the ball already. But she also tends to be a bit clumsy, so Wii games do help learn her own strength and use more “touch” and deftness. Ollie doesn’t seem to have a natural eye for the ball, and Wii has improved his timing.
2. Learning to win & lose
This is a big one. Nat is incredibly competitive and has been ever since she could walk and talk. Especially against her little brother, who luckily doesn’t share the same character trait and is very sweet even if he doesn’t win. So if I take a shot for him and misses, he’ll say: “Don’t worry, Dad, it’s okay…” and have that cute look about him when I could just hug him to death! But going back to Nat, we are talking serious tantrums, sulking, crying and bad moods if she isn’t “the winner”. One might think that Wii would actually make this worse, but in fact Nat has started (very slowly…) to learn that she doesn’t need to win all the time and be more graceful when she loses. I can tell that it still hurts her like mad and she loathes losing, but the fact that she is now pretending not to mind as much is certainly a start in the right direction. And the other side of the coin is also learning how to win gracefully and in this respect Nat is much better than Ollie (probably as she has so much practice at it, as we let her win so much…), who does tend to gloat when he wins and say things like “I’m good, you’re bad, I’m the winner, you’re the loser, na, na..”. Again, from playing Wii, Ollie has started to learn that it’s not nice to gloat over your opponent when you win.
3. An introduction to business
With Mii Golf (& quite a few of the other Wii games) there is a lot of “stuff” that one wants to acquire. In this case things from the “shop” like the Dinosaur mask, the Amazon golf club, the Cat Jester or the Spook-a-Rama hat! And as one has to buy these with “coins” that you win by completing holes and courses, or one has to win them from another player when playing for “items”, a whole new realm of “trade” becomes introduced as a concept. Both kids learn the value of the coins that they have won and that they can’t afford to buy everything with them, so need to selectively choose. Plus they learn to attach additional value to the items they do own according to how hard they worked to acquire them, so it isn’t like a “pocket money for toys” lesson, as they have to also decide which items they care least about when betting them in a game (wait…am I encouraging gambling? Yikes!).
4. Patience & tenacity
A lot of the holes one has to complete in Mii Golf are pretty hard to do, even for me. The only way to master them is via trial and error, sometimes doing them over and over until you want to pull your hair out! Both Nat & Ollie obviously like to get immediate results when they play any game. And this is definitely one of Nat’s weak points when doing her homework, for instance. Unless the answer is obvious straight away, she tends to panic and give up, not wanting to solve the problem with more thought and effort (especially with Maths!). Weirdly enough, Wii has helped them both learn that “trying and trying again until you succeed” can reap rewards.
5. Teamwork
Quite often in Wii games, as is true in Mii Golf, one has to work as a team to win. In this instance, to beat Barker and win coins from him. With this set-up, nobody is a “winner” or “loser” and the kids have learned to use encouragement to help each other do well in order to defeat their opponent. So Ollie will say “good shot, Nat” even if she had in fact put the ball in the bunker! And Nat will instruct Ollie what he needs to do and so takes on the role of “teacher”. Practically every other game the two of them play (even if it’s just throwing around a ball) involves some kind of competition and thus a winner/loser, so I really like it when they play and and learn to work for each other.
As I said, pretty thin, no? I have surfed a bit trying to find some resources that might back up my “clutching at straws” excuses…
Kotaku has a neat post about the motor skills aspect.
Edutopia writes about the potential benefits of cooperation.
Gamasutra talks about the health benefits.
Evening Standard has a piece on how the Wii improves intelligence.
And some some other interesting reads:
How a University lecturer was paid £5,000 to study benefits of Wii.
Time asks if Wii really is good for your health.
And finally some childish streams of consciousness about Wii.
I fear none of this will suffice when Mummy returns and I’ll be in the dog house! And thus Lara will answer her own question on this blog and we’ll be subjected to an even stricter set of rules…:-(
Photo via Chicamania
Flu Shot
After the excitement of the Halloween festivities, we’ve all come down with colds in the past week or so. And I say “colds” in the plural because there have been more than one, when we seem to have gotten over one, another arrives.
I still can’t get over the fact that my two elder kids, who both had the flu shot this summer, seem to get over it incredibly quickly or don’t get it at all. For example last week, Ollie simply had a runny nose for a day or two, and Nat was fine. This week Nat had a cough for a couple of days, and Ollie a runny nose for a day. Today, both kids are fine. What matters was that nothing really came of it, no prolonged symptoms or worse, fever. Poor baby Wills, who obviously couldn’t get the shot, has had it pretty bad. Coupled with heavy teething (his top two came out this week, and one more is breaking too), he’s had a tough time. And so has Mommy, with a bad cold last week and again this week for round two.
But back to the flu vaccine. The Moms at my son’s preschool are divided on this. And until last year, I agreed that it made sense to go “au naturel”, of the let-them-get-sick-it-builds-their-immunity kind of thinking. But last year was a particularly bad flu season for us, with my son missing A LOT of school days which did him no good at all. So when a Mom raved that her son got through the season virtually unscathed because of the vaccine, I thought I’d try it out this year. Now I’m a convert. Even my husband, who’s had a miserable week coughing and sneezing, has grumbled,”why didn’t you make me get the shot??!” Well, next year one thing is for sure, we’re ALL getting flu shots.
Here are some key facts about the vaccine:
The single best way to protect against the flu is to get vaccinated each year.
There are two types of vaccines:
* The “flu shot”— an inactivated vaccine (containing killed virus) that is given with a needle, usually in the arm. The flu shot is approved for use in people older than 6 months, including healthy people and people with chronic medical conditions.
* The nasal-spray flu vaccine — a vaccine made with live, weakened flu viruses that do not cause the flu (sometimes called LAIV for “live attenuated influenza vaccine” or FluMist®). LAIV (FluMist®) is approved for use in healthy* people 2-49 years of age who are not pregnant.
Each vaccine contains three influenza viruses-one A (H3N2) virus, one A (H1N1) virus, and one B virus. The viruses in the vaccine change each year based on international surveillance and scientists’ estimations about which types and strains of viruses will circulate in a given year.
About 2 weeks after vaccination, antibodies that provide protection against influenza virus infection develop in the body.
Photo via P. Swansen
Teething Ring
Just as you start patting yourself on the back for having a good week of parenting (i.e. no major arguments, tantrums or illnesses), you get thrown a challenge. Yesterday morning it suddenly came in the form of baby Wills being a little more cranky than usual. By afternoon he was a lot fussier, waking several times from his naps, and by early evening he had a low grade fever. Ugh. I hate fevers. I know that doctors say that when low, fevers actually help the body fight an infection – so leave it until it hits the upper range of 38. But when one of my babies get it I have to admit that I slightly panic and go straight for the paracetamol.
At his “well baby” check-up the other day, Doctor J noticed that his upper gums were swollen. So last night when he woke up every 2 hours screaming in agony (not his style at all!), I knew that teething was at least one of the culprits. His fever had also risen to 38.6 even 3 hours AFTER I had given Calpol, he was clearly in pain and discomfort, so I enlisted my husband to give an extra dose of ibuprofen. I don’t know how he does it, but my husband can work some serious Daddy Magic! With a few silly-faced peekaboos, he turned the dreaded “medicine time” into comedy hour, and literally had Wills laughing so hard, I secretly wondered if he had become slightly hysterical with the fever.
Mission accomplished, Dad went downstairs to watch his DVD reruns of “Las Vegas“, while I kept Wills in bed with me, hoping that the meds would kick in and we’d get some sleep. Well, you know that that wasn’t to be. This morning, I noticed a cough and a slight runny nose, which means that we’ve been hit with a double whammy.
Teething-wise though, here’s what I’ve done. Will report results in my next entry.
1. Homeopathic Teething Gel
I rubbed this in this gums every time he woke up during the night. It seemed to have helped because he went back to sleep after a couple of minutes.
2. Frozen Teething Rings/ Washcloth
Those went into the freezer this morning. When he wakes from his nap, they should be ready.
3. Paracetamol
I don’t like this, but I just felt it was necessary with the fever.
4. Chamomilla Drops
I’ve been starting to give him this homeopathic remedy for teething. It is in the gel as well, so the jury’s out on if this will help.
5. Mom’s TLC
The most important thing of all!
Photo via cjbvii
This question was asked of me by a friend who is a relatively new parent. The first thought that came to mind was “Well, you should have talked about this in the first place!” Of course, I didn’t say that. After a few moments of thinking, I had to qualify my “mind statement.” Indeed, there are many things that you talk about before you get married and start a family. However, it does not mean that everything goes as you plan. We all know that, don’t we?
So what do you do when you have kids and you and your partner have differing views when it comes to raising your children? Who is to be followed? How do you instill discipline?
A few things have come to my mind since that conversation. If I were to find myself in that situation, one of the things that I would seriously consider is to take the advice of those who have come before me. Parenting classes, perhaps. Or maybe counseling sessions. Advice from my parents. Advice from older friends who have had more experience. Any kind of input, I would welcome. I would go through the information with my husband and sift through it – find what we can use.
Another important thing would be to talk it over thoroughly with my husband. I think that the most important thing is to be able to present a united front. We need to reach an agreement – compromise in different aspects. It is not going to be easy but it is workable.
How about you? What would you do if you were in this situation?
Teaching kids the difference between what is right and what is wrong is, theoretically a simple thing. Then again, who is to say what is right and what is wrong? Add the concepts of left (wrong) and right (right) and things just might get all muddled up.
Mike’s take on this had me laughing my bum off:
My 4-year old loves to navigate when I drive the family van. But he sometimes gets confused with his left and right.
So I try to help him.
I drive. My wife sits in the front passenger seat. My 4-year old sits behind me while my 2-year old sits behind my wife.
“Daddy is on the left,” I tell my 4-year old. “Mommy is always right.”
Ok, so he was teaching his son directions – left and right. Yet I believe that this little anecdote gives us deeper insights. How do our children perceive the dynamics between mother and father? Do they see Mommy as always being in the right? Is the mother always the one who insists on doing the proper thing?
I am sure that in many other families, this issue is present. The mom might be the one seen as the one who insists on doing the right thing while the dad might be the more tolerant one. I don’t believe in stereotypes. I’d much rather that our children see a united front when it comes to what is right and what is wrong.
Share your thoughts?
Reuters reports that “Nearly a third of U.S. parents know surprisingly little about typical infant development, and this lack of understanding can rob their babies of much-needed mental stimulation, researchers said on Sunday.”
What an alarming statement! Parents are the first teachers of their children and if they do not have a good understanding of what babies need, then the babies will be on the losing side. It is true that there are no clear cut rules as to what a parent must do. Indeed, many say that there is really no way to ensure that you will be a good parent. It is something that comes with experience.
So how did the researchers come to the conclusion that a considerable number of American parents do not know enough about babies? Dr. Heather Paradis of the University of Rochester Medical Center in New York shares:
There are numerous parenting books telling people what to expect when they’re pregnant but once a baby is born, an astonishing number of parents are not only unsure of what to anticipate as their child develops, but are also uncertain of when, how or how much they are to help their babies reach various milestones, such as talking, grabbing, discerning right from wrong, or even potty-training.
The study she conducted covered more than 10,000 parents with 9-month-old babies and asked questions such as:
-Should a 1-year-old child be able to tell between right from wrong?
-Should a 1-year-old child be ready to begin toilet-training?
The passing score is 5 out of 11. Those who got 4 and below are considered to have a lack of understanding of parenting with regard to babies.
Maybe we should all see a copy of the questionnaire and answer them ourselves.
I honestly did not want to write about this but the topic kept popping into my head and just wouldn’t disappear no matter what I did. People who do not have children and see other people running around like a headless chicken in order to keep up with their kids (especially those tots in their terrible twos) would probably think that being a parent would make staying fit an easier task. And why not? Expending all that energy running after one toddler (let alone 2 or more) should be enough exercise to burn away all those calories, shouldn’t it?
Unfortunately, there is more to losing weight than that. I can’t exactly explain why taking care of toddlers and losing weight do not always come together but I do know that a mom (or a dad, for that matter) may have to actually squeeze in an exercise regimen to keep fit.
This is hard, trust me. For stay home parents, it is already hard enough. For working parents, it is even harder. With work, parenting, homemaking, and other essential activities that we engage in, where do we find the time to exercise?
I suppose the answer would depend on many different factors – the children’s ages, your work schedule, your energy level, and more. I think that the bottom line is deciding that you want to exercise, that you want to make fitness one of your priorities. If this is firmly established, I am sure that you can find some time in your hectic life to exercise – even if it is only an hour a week. What do you think?
No, I am not talking about walking the runway like Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss. What I have in mind is being super (role) models for our kids. I am drawing inspiration for this post from an entry in Dr. Robyn’s blog, entitled Powerful Role Models: Seven Ways to Make a Positive Impact on Children.
As I was reading through the entry, I was taken back in time. I remembered how, as a child, I looked up to may parents so much. In my eyes, they could do no wrong. My mom was a strict disciplinarian while my dad pampered us a bit more. They both walked their talk, as they say. My perception changed somewhat as I grew older but looking back now, I realize just how much my parents’ example has shaped who I am today.
Seeing how I regarded my parents as the main role models in my life, I am quite scared as to what my children would see in me. Would they respect me in much the same way I held my parents and their principles in high regard? Would I be able to live up to their expectations or would I be a disappointment to them?
This is where the 7th point in Dr. Robyn’s post becomes really helpful – demonstrating confidence in who we are. Being a parent is really the best – and the toughest – job in the world and realizing that as parents, we have to be “supermodels” for our kids can make it even tougher. Then again, we should not be afraid to make mistakes and apologize for them if the situation arises. The important thing is that we show a good example to our children – in the best way we can.
Being a parent is a tough job – I am sure most of you will agree with me on that. It does have its wonderful moments that cannot be replaced by anything else but the fact remains that there are days which are going to try the most patient person. There are days when the stress will seem to be too much too bear. I ran across a post from Dr. Robyn J.A. Silverman which presents the ABCs of parenting. Now I would be the last person to simplify things to match the alphabet, to be honest – parenting is so much more than ABC – but I really found this list helpful. Allow me to share some of the letters of the alphabet and how they can help parents take on the challenges of their lives.
A- Accept the things you can not change: Single parenting? Step parenting? ADHD parenting? Just dealing with time crunches, making lunches, bunches and bunches of bills? It’s important to recognize that there are some things you can not control, surrender, move on.
B- Breathe: When things get hairy, scary, and you feel like you can barely hold on, take a step back, breathe, and be calm.
C- Count your blessings. Even though you have the weight of the world on you right now and feel far from compassionate for others who have things much worse than you do, there is some value in taking a moment to look at the things that are going right today, such as your child’s tantrum-free morning or how your spouse took out the trash…
All these three things, I find difficult, especially when faced with seemingly insurmountable things. Yet, I realize that they can indeed help me become more efficient and loving at the same time. I hope you see things the same way as well.
The best way to get good tips and tricks on how to properly balance parenthood and personal life is to learn and read it from the people who know. Such can be found from sites that have used the services offered by organizations as the Los Angeles SEO when it comes to affordable search engine optimization and many have been directed towards their way.
For sure, parents are looking for advanced practices on how to become better parents. Moods and the things they do at home are not enough. There are varying techniques in the world of parenting today and people just have to be more open to them. Books may be of help but with the way technology has been spread today, the web is where updated facts and resources are at.
Be assured that there are a lot of ideas over the web today for better parenting practices. They are just waiting to be found!
