Relationships

Kids Need to Feel Important

August 27, 2010 By Lor

Ever noticed how kids will keep pestering you just when you are intent on doing something. The more engrossed you are, the more they will bug you. You just want an hour to enjoy your game and they want to play it for you. It can be annoying!

Truth is they just want to be part of what you’re doing. If you are having fun, they want to have fun with you. If you enjoy cooking, they will try and enjoy it too. They love helping you decorate for christmas. They’ll even try to help wrap presents.

Of course there are times that you have to say no but before you tell them they can’t why not check if there is someway they can take part. For example, you’re busy in the kitchen getting dinner ready and you don’t really want them around your knives. How about just having them peel the veggies or wash the potatoes.

If you’re painting, why not give your kid a paintbrush too and assign him his own corner to color? He may not do as big a space as you and his corner may not be as even but that is easily taken care of.

Do you love word games, the crosswords maybe? Get a book of word puzzles that the two of you can do together. Invite him to bring his puzzles to where you sit and you can sit companionably together as you each solve your games.

These may seem like small things for them to do but the effect on them is huge. Kids love to “help out”. Let them and watch as they amaze you with what they can do.

Photo via Dynamoash

Teenage Children and Relationships

July 30, 2010 By Lor

Do you have teenage sons and daughters? That is such a challenging thing. Imagine all those hormones raging out of your sons and daughters. That is why some parents get terribly paranoid about letting them go out. They think of the possibility of those teenagers having relationships that might be sexual in nature.

One of the things that would be important in this stage is communication. The teens, being in high school, they are subject to peer pressure. They are probably confused about their identities as not quite adults but not kids anymore. Shutting them out or the other way around might make things more difficult. After all, it is more difficult to deal with people when you do not know what they are thinking.

Being friends with your teenage sons and daughters is probably one of the things you could do. Give them your trust. But not all of it. After all, as parents you have to make sure that you still set certain boundaries so that they learn and that even if they fall, they would not be hurt too much with their decisions. Aside from that, being sensitive to their needs is one of the most important things you can do.

Fathers might be too critical of their daughters’ boyfriends or dates. Especially during the prom. Or when there is a spring break party. Maybe that would be the time to take the chance to know these people. Crack jokes in their presence but not at their expense so that they know you are not doing this out of spite. Who knows? Maybe they would be your best buds with whom you will batch NBA.

Photo via Michael Newman

Mother-Daughter Bonding

July 23, 2010 By Lor

In Gilmore Girls, Lorelai and Rory seem to get along pretty well except for the later seasons. Lorelai had Rory when she was still a teenager so maybe that is why they get along pretty well. Their age gap is not so huge compared to other mother-daughter tandems. They even go out shopping together and borrow each others’ clothes. They talk about their relationships. They joke around like friends.

If you think that this is only possible on TV and only for moms who are not too old for their teenage daughters, think again. There are ways after all.

Start them young.

If your children would know you as someone they could trust and easily talk with, that will make them feel this more consistently. That is why it is good. However, the dilemma is that they might be too clingy later on.

Treat them as adults.

This is especially when they are already teenagers. If they know that you are trying to see them as adults, they would feel better about themselves. As if you are equals, in a way. At least when it comes to deciding on certain things for their own. Especially when it comes to dating. This way, you might even have the chance for some heart-to-heart talks.

Have fun with them.

It is true that you have to be serious with them, especially when it comes to discussing matters. But do things together like shopping, going to the salon or the spa. If your daughter likes sports like soccer or basketball, talk about the athletes and maybe even try playing it. Do not hesitate in having fun with her.

The Gilmore girls are probably not the conventional mother-daughter set up but you sure could learn much from their relationship. We are all humans and this is one thing that the daughters should see in their mothers. If you are too strict and stoic, how could they relate with you after all?

Photo via Summers