It is very easy and common for estranged spouses to be so caught up with their own divorce woes and forget about their children’s feelings. In a very unfortunate family event like divorce, children will almost always have no say on the matter and yet they can be the most affected. Seeing two people they look up to going their separate ways and probably tearing each other apart can be one of the most traumatic experiences in their young lives. There is no question that a child would need help to cope with the realities of divorcing parents .
Acknowledge the Pain
Difficult as it may be, the divorcing parents should be looking out for their children as well especially during the most trying times. If you are in the process of divorcing your spouse and you think you have been dealt the worst deal, think again. There is someone hurting more than you are and that is most probably your child.
Talk with you child in a way he or she can understand and acknowledge the pain. It may not be expressed as clearly as the child wants to but it is real. Crying is not the only manifestation of pain. Often times, it is the child’s silence which is more difficult to interpret.
Do Not Add Confusion to the Pain
Divorcing parents should resist every opportunity to badmouth each other most especially in front of the children. The personal issues of parents simultaneously sounded off to their children may just be too much to handle at a certain point. Parents should try to keep the divorce proceedings in a civil level.
Children however have to be protected adequately if they are at the risk of any harm from any parent. If there is reason to believe that children must be forewarned of any possible danger, then it needs to be done. Of course, there is no room for exaggeration and false accusations which can only further confuse an already emotionally hurting child.
When all the legal proceedings have been done with, the only thing left to do is to live life. You have made your decision to divorce your spouse but life goes on for you, your estranged spouse, and your children. Presumably, you have come up with arrangements about custody, visiting rights, and all that stuff so everybody is expected to be moving within the parameters of these arrangements.
That takes care of the legal aspect but you still have the more personal challenge of living life on a daily basis after divorce. Your children will probably have many questions in their minds that will come out many days, months or years after. Remember this, you may no longer be a wife or husband to your spouse but you remain a parent to your child even after divorce, so be one.
About the Author:
Sara Angle is a professional blogger that shares tips and information about the divorce process. She writes for Widrig Law PLLC, a top divorce law firm in Nashville TN.
Originally posted on March 15, 2014 @ 12:21 am