Having “The Talk”
“Where do babies come from?”
Ah, the dreaded talk. It’s the moment that parents don’t really look forward to. And sometimes it’s the moment that kids (especially those old enough to understand) don’t really want to go through. But then when is the right time to have “the talk” and what is the most appropriate way to go with it?
This is especially true with conservative societies. Some people would rather sweep things under the rug, escaping responsibility because talking about it might be considered taboo.
To the contrary, the topic of sex should not be something hidden behind an iron curtain. As parents, we should understand that humans are sexual beings at–and even before–birth. We were made to be male and female, and there should be no malice with how we discuss these matters with our kids. Reproduction, after all, is a God-given gift. These things should be handled with openness, and yet with sensitivity.
So do away with the “birds and the bees” or the “Mr. Pelican” talk. It’s time kids learn about the truth.
It’s important for parents to be there to guide kids about matters about sex. Children today can be overwhelmed by inputs from the media and from their peers. For all you know, they could be getting the wrong ideas and false information about sex. These could lead to dangerous situations later on (such as unreported sexual abuse, teenage pregnancies, and the like). It’s best for kids to be aware of themselves and their sexuality so that this could not be exploited by other people.
The Mayo Clinic has a great introductory article about having “the talk” with your children. It involves dealing with human sexuality at various stages in a child’s life. This is probably a good reference when you feel the time has come for that talk.
Incidentally, this will be my last post here on the Parenting blog for a long time. Lara has come back from taking care of the Pirates stuff. I will perhaps post here from time to time, though. And of course, I’ll still be around as your host at several other Splashpress blogs like the Blog Herald, Jack of All Blogs, Gadzooki.
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September 30th, 2007 at 10:55 pm
My four year old asked us if it was “Hard to make me.” We told him it had taken a reasonable amount of effort. He finally got around to asking me how he got out of my belly as we were waiting to get on a plane in a crowded waiting area at La Guardia. He loudly asked, “how do babies get out of the mommy;’s belly?” I have actually anticipated this question, but I had not anticipated answering it before an anxious audience of about 20 adults within earshot. Ialso took a moment to reconsider my reply because I wanted to amke sure I was answering his actual question and nothing more. One woman said to me, “I can’t wait to hear this.” Finally I told him something about a woman’s vagina.” I knew immediately this was troubling to him and I heard about it the next day. He wondered why only girls have “virginias.” I said are you upset because boys don’t get to do anything in making babies? he nodded. I said “You know who puts the baby in the mommy’s tummy? The daddy.” He grinned at this information.
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March 29th, 2009 at 6:29 am
Hello!
Very Interesting post! Thank you for such interesting resource!
PS: Sorry for my bad english, I’v just started to learn this language
See you!
Your, Raiul Baztepo
April 8th, 2009 at 6:43 am
Hello !
I am Piter Kokoniz. oOnly want to tell, that your blog is really cool
And want to ask you: will you continue to post in this blog in future?
Sorry for my bad english:)
Thank you:)
Piter Kokoniz, from Latvia
August 14th, 2009 at 10:19 am
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April 5th, 2010 at 12:28 am
I watched the Frontline movie, American Porn was an informational documentary regarding the social issue of the pornographic film industry in the United States. The American porn industry is the largest of its kind, and is more profitable than any other division of business in the world.
In the 1970’s, porn was illegal and the justice system frequently prosecuted producers of such films. Most people being tried were being charged with obscenity and were sentenced to 15 plus years in prison. Most prosecutors would allow jury members to view clips of the pornographic videos, which at the time were very out of the ordinary, and deemed as not appropriate for the general adult public. Because of the content, it was very easy for prosecutors to get judgment against the accused.
When the Clinton administration and his policy makers were elected into office, things changed in the industry. The justice system had bigger problems to tend to and prosecution of producers came to a halt. When the industry figured that repercussions no longer existed, the porn industry began booming once again.
The business, although very lucrative, is easy money for most people. Unlike movies seen on the big screen where overhead was extremely high, the porn industry could essentially make a low budget film and reap the same rewards that movie producers were seeing. In the first year of opening, the family run porn business, Extreme Associates, grossed over two million dollars.
In regards to society, a Catholic Bishop stated that, “When a company like AT&T gets into the hearts and lives of the American people, and then condone porn, they are telling our children that it’s OK.” Just as technology changes, so has the porn industry. Larry Flint, one of the biggest producers in the industry (Also one of the men who was convicted in the 1970’s for obscenity) stated that, “you can now see on television what was illegal in 1974 on private videos.” Like everything else, the industry continues to grow.
When the republican party of George W. Bush came into office, the porn industry was worried. Prosecutors shifted their worries, and began coming after porn producers once again. More convictions were being seen until September 11 came. Again, policy changed and the government was more worried about national security.
To help keep producers safe, a list has been made to remind porn producers what they should stay away from in regards to their content. This list is known as the Cambria List, and it recognizes 7 taboos that producers should keep out of their videos.
Today, the justice system is still prosecuting, but only when a producer or actor takes the Cambria List too far. The seven general topics that will not be tolerated include; Fisting, underage, urination, bestiality, pain, death and dismemberment, and rape.
With the porn industry growing, the question of adolescents gaining access to such material is an important one. While I believe viewing such material should not be illegal, the opportunities of children viewing the videos need to be monitored more closely. Furthermore, acts such as those on the Cambria List need to be prosecuted at the highest extent and should not be tolerated by either producer or viewer.
It is important for young adults and teenagers to be aware of the meaning of sex and how it was meant to be partaken in. In videos such as those made by Extreme Associates where the woman is abused or raped, it is the responsibility of the public and the justice system to take action against such companies. It is not so much the content in each individual video, but instead the meaning behind it and what it teaches our children. The meaning of the woman’s body is being de-moralized and the meaning of the sexual acts are being weakened. Instilling the meaning of such actions into our youth is important, and, I believe, that if one understands the importance, the videos will be much less harmful.