My 4-year-old Rebel
My four-and-a-half-year-old has become a rebel. I’m not sure when it happened or why. Maybe it was during the summer when he and his sister were fighting all day (and night). Maybe it’s because he found out we were expecting baby # 4 (!!). Well, whenever it happened, what’s happened is that my little angelic O is now a mini James Dean.
Take this morning. It’s time to get ready for school and the little rebel is up and ready to rebel. After 10 minutes and tears he’s finally dressed, but getting out of the house takes another 15 minutes (after he lies down on the kitchen floor in defiance). It’s the same for most of the day, where I have to repeat myself about 100x. Bathtime? He runs away. Dinner? He won’t come to the table. Bedtime? Please put away that toy, I’m turning off the lights. His talking toy camera keeps talking and I am ignored yet again.
So you can imagine I have been at my wits end all week, and to keep myself sane, I tried to look for some positives. One good thing is that my (usually) extremely naughty 7-year-old is now starting to look like an angel (she may be putting this on given her little brother’s new rebel status). Another good thing is that having done my online research, my little rebel is actually going through what you could call another natural process of growing up. And that other than the “busy” points of the day (like dressing, mealtimes, bed), he is still a very sweet boy. This, from Baby Center, made a lot of sense:
“Defiance is how your preschooler asserts himself….remember, too, that disciplining your preschooler doesn’t mean controlling him — it means teaching him to control himself. Punishment might get him to behave, but only because he’s afraid not to. It’s best for your child to do the right thing because he wants to — because it makes the day more fun for him or makes him feel good…”
So take heart parents of little rebels, and realize that this too shall pass (and hopefully your preschooler will start behaving again). For more good advice from real Moms, check out these Expert Answers.
August 26th, 2009 at 5:57 am
I was a nanny in a four child household for nearly five years, and I have certainly seen my share of rebel episodes. Extreme pickiness regarding food, sudden and frequent tears, acting out in front of family friends…it can seem like your preschooler is out to purposely make your life more difficult!
Your child may go through several rebellions of one sort of another. For parents going through this, take comfort in the fact that they really do pass. And remember, small everyday issues can overwhelm a young child. Be firm and patient, and eventually you’ll see your child outgrow this phase.
September 2nd, 2009 at 12:39 am
Haha…awesome article. It made me laugh cause it reminds me of my kids, and myself at a younger age. Great read!!!
September 3rd, 2009 at 8:14 pm
What? A 4 1/2 year old being rebellious? Haha. Great article and a wise quote!
September 4th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
I don’t understand how a child is allowed to be “rebellious”. My parents would not tolerate such behavior and I certainly did not. My son knew by time he was two to do what I said without giving me any grief. He was scared to death of me and rightly so. Now is his a 22 year old grad student at the top of his class and his professors have thanked me for raising such a well behaved and disciplined child. No adult should ever put themselves in the position of being inconvenienced or stressed by a child of any age.
September 7th, 2009 at 5:41 am
Thanks for the comments everyone. You are so right, Ashley, now that he’s back in school, the phase seems to be passing somewhat:-)
November 4th, 2009 at 6:53 pm
I love this article! I have a 5 year old DAUGHTER whose very rebelous but she’s coming along fine now. Look forward to new post:)
Nekiwa
http://www.squidoo.com/childbehaviorguide
December 20th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
[...] on that more, I am beginning to see her point. Remember my 4-year-old rebel? Should I go out on a limb and try this out? Share and Enjoy:These icons link to social bookmarking [...]