From the get go, Barack Obama made it known just how important his family is to him. Despite being the busy guy that he is, he always makes it a point to set aside time and resources for his wife and two girls. It looks to me that he is quite successful at what he is doing.
Recently, he was interviewed by Essence Magazine, and he talked at length about his stand on parent involvement in regard to raising children. Let me share with you some of the points that struck me the most.
Regulate TV time. So what does the first couple do? The president says that the girls are not allowed to watch TV during school nights. Instead, they have to do their homework first – as soon as they get home actually. When dinner time comes around and they’re still not done, then they continue after. Naturally, this requires diligence AND patience on everyone’s part. I understand this, though, as my parents did the same thing with us, and I’d like to think it worked out pretty well!
Set educational expectations. I think this is one thing that many parents need to work on. We have to draw the line regarding what is expected of the children and what we can do to help them. I have heard about (and seen) so many parents take on the school workload of their children just so things can get done. I can also recount a lot of stories about parents who set very high (often unrealistic) expectations. The trick is in finding the correct balance between giving the child responsibility AND supporting him when necessary. Unfortunately, this is a gray area. Who is to say what the balance is? Here’s a rough guide, according to the President: children must take responsibility for waking up and getting to school on time. They also must take responsibility for routine homework. When it comes to extra projects and other non-routine tasks, perhaps parents can lend a helping hand.
Communicate. This is a way of monitoring how your child is getting along in school. You need to make it a habit to spend time with your child regularly, if only to talk about mundane things. Even better, make it a point to set goals with your child, and then celebrate milestones together.
Isn’t that just a wonderful thing to hear from someone of such stature?
Happy Earth Day 2009! One of the best things you can do to Save the Earth is to educate your kids about the environment and sustainability – making it a fun process that they can carry through for the rest of their lives.
Luckily, most “big” schools now teach kids about the environment, about recycling and even organic farming, so helping kids in grade school or older is easier than ever before. My daughter’s 1st grade class, for instance, visited an organic farm for their field trip last year and they saw how lettuce was looked after and harvested naturally. She knows not to leave the tap running when she brushes her teeth or washes her hands (I hear her scold her little brother that he’s “wasting!” water), turns off lights when nobody is using them, and talks to me excitedly about what it means to recycle.
For preschoolers, it’s a little more challenging. I have been trying to teach my 4-year-old some of the basic principles I taught my daughter, but I just get a sort of “bored” look most of the time. So my project, beginning this Earth Day, is to get my son more involved with some hands-on work. I found some great ideas online, like on iVillage, for instance, they have a useful article about how you can “Go Green at Any Age”. For preschoolers, they suggest things like this:
Teach your preschooler how to help pick out ripe seasonal fruit and vegetables for their snacks and meals. Show them that when they have finished their fruit and vegetables, there are parts that can be composted. Involve your children in composting your food scraps, coffee grounds, etc. Get them used to seeing that food waste is not garbage but rather something that can be turned into soil to grow more food.
Another site I like is Funschool, which has a lot of fun games and activities I know will appeal to my computer-loving little boy.
And lastly, for baby Wills, I’ll be dressing him in organic or sustainable clothing today (and as much as my bank account can afford!) but more often than not, I’ll be doing this: let him use his big sister and brother’s old clothes, shoes and toys. That’s recycling for you!
Hold your horses, not too fast and no violence involved. Many people are pissed at the way things are handled in court, much so that convicted killers, scammers and everybody in between go unpunished because of the legalities involved. Now let me ask you this, do you want to take them on with the backing of the law that so protects them, and gain the same protection for your and your family? Have you ever considered taking online law degrees with the many colleges offering them today, it’s easy as pie and you can do it while keeping your job during the day. many major colleges are now offering online law courses for those who want career advancement. For us, it would be the pure pleasure of learning hoe these criminals get away with the things they do.
Many of us are just plain tired and say that let them do the job for you, but most of the times, you’re not contented with the way they handle things. The law is a very tedious and tender matter that anybody without insight can easily get swallowed by the many such technicalities that are part of these laws. They are however the foundation of our society so whatever is within these laws makes modern life possible. Get down and dirty and get involved by getting yourself knowledgeable in the law that has failed you so much. Get involved and turn the law onto your side and keep the guilty ones out of the streets making them safer for our families, friends and everybody else.
Two weeks ago I got an ubiquitous letter from my daughter’s school warning of a mini-epidemic of gastroenteritis going around. It listed the symptoms and how to keep it away (washing hands, etc) – okay, thanks. As if you can say that to a 6-year-old and expect them to remember to wash their hands in between the playground and lunch break! Unlike us Mums who have a keen awareness of germs and potential carriers (if I see someone coughing at the bank I immediately run for cover and whip out the antibacterial gel), kids just don’t notice these things and find it extremely difficult to stop touching things and (horrors) put their hands in their mouth.
Well, I did what I could. I gave them spiel about the germs and the hand washing, pumped them with vitamin C and hoped for the best. As fate would have it, on the night of baby Will’s 1st birthday party, Nat came to our bedroom at midnight and promptly vomited. It wasn’t too much birthday cake, cookies or lasagna as I hoped, because she couldn’t hold down anything for the next 24 hours. She then came down with a fever, had diarrhea, and for the next few days just lay on the sofa, totally miserable. Classic symptoms of gastro.
What’s worse is that we had planned a trip to Disneyland for their birthdays and it was just a few days away. And just as we were considering canceling the whole vacation, she got better. But then her brother got it, then the baby got it. And this was after I had lysol-ed my house like a madwoman! Luckily, the boys had a much, much milder version, and were pretty much their normal selves apart from a bit of runny tummies for a few days.
Now back from our great holiday (boy, did we narrowly miss disaster because of these school germs), my daughter came home from school today with ANOTHER letter, this time saying that there is a cold virus going around the school. HELP!!
Apparently, some schools and parents have taken the matter into their own hands, with things like the Germy Wormy and the Sniffle Sleeve. Good on them. Worth mentioning at the next PTA meeting I think.
The other day my husband and I went to the first PTC meeting with our daughter’s teacher, Ms. A. Report cards had just come out and I was eager to see how N had fared in the first term of first grade. It was a big adjustment for her as her preschool was tiny (8 kids on her class!), and her new “big school” was huge (almost 1,000 kids up to grade 12!). I knew that she was happy there, but as any parent knows, the way your kid is at home and at school can be two very different things.
Well, Ms. A told us that N was an enthusiastic learner, did well in all her subjects, especially p.e, art, computer and music. She then also said N was not really a “self starter” and needed some time (i.e. would play, draw or get distracted) before she could sit down and complete a task. In maths, she was very good with numbers, but often got confused with “problem solving” work. In reading, she had also improved vastly (she could hardly reading at the end of Kindergarten), but tended to rush through reading, using context clues to guess the words rather than going through them slowly.
Of course, I also had other questions- like the grading system, which was new to me, ranging from 4-1 (4 being the highest, and meant to be “super, super” not given lightly) and I was used to the old-fashioned ABC’s or 95, 85, 75 etc. N mostly got 3’s, a few 2’s, and two 4’s, but I can’t help but feel that she could have done better – that I could have done more to help her.
I think its up to us as parents to really know and understand our kids learning styles (again, think of the Animal School) as it could really help them not just in their school years, but for the rest of their lives.
The word “busy” seems to be a by-word for “Mom” these days. I recently went to a meeting called by my son’s preschool, for the parents to discuss the “United Nations” day booth which we organize every year. Out of the 18 or so Moms or Dads who were meant to be there – only 2 showed up. In fact I bumped into one of the Moms the next day (who is not a working Mom, mind you) and when I mentioned that she was missed at the meeting, she simply said, “Oh, I was just too busy!”.
Now I’m sure most of them had their perfectly valid reasons, as I do too sometimes, but for me, when “busyness” starts making you miss out on aspects of your child’s life, something is wrong. My 3-year-old son’s days have been busy preparing for this event, practicing the songs and dances they’ll perform for us, making the decorations and costumes themselves. It’s a big day for him, and if I can be a part of it, I will as much as I am able to.
So when I got this “Daily OM” from my Aunt, I thought it was indeed appropriate for all of us immersed in our “busyness“. Our kids our growing up so fast, we just have to try and slow down so that we don’t miss a thing.
Now please read this…. SLOWLY!
Enjoying a Snail’s Pace
Doing Things Slowly
Life can often feel like it’s zipping by in fast forward. We feel obliged to accelerate our own speed along with it, until our productivity turns into frenzied accomplishment. We find ourselves cramming as much activity as possible into the shortest periods of time. We disregard our natural rhythms because it seems we have to just to keep up. In truth, rushing never gets you anywhere but on to the next activity or goal.
Slowing down allows you to not only savor your experiences, but also it allows you to fully focus your attention and energy on the task at hand. Moving at a slower place lets you get things done more efficiently, while rushing diminishes the quality of your work and your relationships. Slowing down also lets you be more mindful, deliberate, and fully present. When we slow down, we are giving ourselves the opportunity to reacquaint ourselves to our natural rhythms. We let go of the “fast forward” stress, and allow our bodies to remain centered and grounded. Slowing down is inherent to fully savoring anything in life. Rushing to take a bath can feel like an uncomfortable dunk in hot water, while taking a slow hot bath can be luxuriant and relaxing. A student cramming for a test will often feel tired and unsure, whereas someone who really absorbs the information will be more confident and relaxed. Cooking, eating, reading, and writing can become pleasurable when done slowly. ! Slowing down lets you become more absorbed in whatever it is you are doing. The food you eat tastes better, and the stories you read become more alive.
Slowing down allows you to disconnect from the frenzied pace buzzing around you so you can begin moving at your own pace. The moments we choose to live in fast forward motion then become a conscious choice rather than an involuntary action. Learning to slow down in our fast-moving world can take practice, but if you slow down long enough to try it, you may surprise yourself with how natural and organic living at this pace can be.
So we arrived at Gymboree, all ready for his trial class in “Level 2: Play and Learn”, which was for babies aged from 6-10 months. We entered the play floor and he looked around curiously at all the bright colors and babies around, the happy “Gymboree” music playing in the background.
For the first few minutes he was shy, not wanting to leave my lap, holding on quite tightly. But as the teacher eased into the 2nd song (they use the old standards – like “itsy bitsy”, “this old man” etc etc and put their own lyrics), he was off my lap, crawling to Gymbo the clown on the teacher’s lap, checking out the other babies and Moms by grabbing their shirt, watch, feet (oh dear).
The 45 minute class flew by – he crawled up a padded incline and was the first baby to grab the ball the the top (beating the 9-month-olds I proudly note), walked on a wooden plank then slid down on a wooly rug, played some singing games on my lap (he preferred crawling though), sang and danced (a good workout for Mum), and watched the bubbles with utter amazement – and it wasn’t until the last minute just as the goodbye song was ending did he start fussing with a few whines which signaled “ok Mummy, I’m tired now”.
The verdict? A good class for crawling babies, can be a bit rushed (as in moving from one activity to the next fairly quickly) for others especially those who aren’t very mobile yet.
I have a curly-haired, 7-month-old baby boy named William. Wills is one of those “angel” babies, who has been all smiles since day one, only cries when absolutely necessary and reaches all his milestones on time, with no trouble whatsoever. And when he started crawling a couple of weeks ago, it completely took me by surprise because this didn’t happen with my other children until they were 8 or 9 months.
With his new found mobility, Wills seemed to be getting bored with his routine, and I don’t blame him – who would want to go from the foam squares on the floor to the exersaucer to the sofa – so I thought it may be time to try a class at our local Gymboree, which luckily lets you try every class, in every level for free.
My 3-year-old boy already goes once a week for the art class which he enjoys thoroughly. It has to be said though, that with my #2, we tried Gymboree several times, from the time he was about 7 months on, with little success, only signing up when he was around 18 months as he refused to crawl and actually seemed quite annoyed by the whole thing until he was older.
So, as we made our way to the trial class I wondered, was Wills ready?
The next day there was more letting go to be had, this time at the school bus stop, which I have to say was a little scarier for both of us. For first timers like me, just seeing my child enter a huge vehicle on her own, to be let loose on these roads beset with lumbering trucks, speeding sport cars and road rage (ok I admit I’m overreacting, but this bus has to go on the freeway) was not a good start to my day. I mean, just how safe are these things?
After a little sleuthing, I found the answer: school buses are EXTREMELY SAFE!! and better for the environment too. Hurray!
Read this below and be a new school-bus-fan like me:
The school bus is the safest means of ground transportation, period,” said Sandy Syburg, president of Oconomowoc Transport, which is responsible for busing students in the Oconomowoc Area School District.
The company transports 3,500 students from both public and private schools in a district that covers 135 square miles.
Syburg, who also served as the past president the Wisconsin School Bus Association, said the latest national statistic showed it was 125 times safer to travel in a school bus than a passenger car.
Key factors for that record include that school buses are designed specifically to protect students. Special safety features not available on any other vehicle ensure the safest possible ride for children, according to the National Transportation Association.
Federal safety standards and the structural integrity of the vehicles are large components in that record.
Students riding in buses are also 80 percent above the impact zone in the case of a crash.
“If a car or a medium-size vehicle came in contact with the body of the bus, they are out of the danger area of that impact zone,” Syburg explained.
Nearly half the students in the country go to school by school bus and half go to school some other way, such as private vehicles, walking or biking, the national association reported.
Among the half that use the school bus, there are an average 20 fatalities per year; but among the half that travel some other way, there are 800 fatalities each year. In particular, teenagers are 44 times more likely to arrive at school alive if they take the bus than if they drive or ride with friends, it reported.
In addition, the school bus offers a more energy efficient means of transportation.
I don’t know about you, but I will definitely be sleeping better. To learn more, read the rest of the article here.
Yes, the unsavoury phenomena of “keeping up with the Joneses” has already started to rear its ugly head at my daughter’s kindergarten, and we Mothers have become accomplices.
At the age of 4-5, my daughter (and indeed her classmates) has become increasingly aware of what her friends have, prompting the need for her to have whatever it is too.
Take Rose, for instance, her classmate who is obviously over-indulged by her parents. She comes to school in a new outfit nearly every day, and her toy collection at home could rival Hamleys. N tells me that Rose does not have a strict bedtime (she can sleep anytime she wants, which is usually at 1 am with her Mother) and can have new toys any day of the week. The unfairness of it all!!
To a child’s eyes, Rose has hit the jackpot, but to us Moms (well, maybe not Rose), its a clear sign for the road to Veruca-ville. So every week, theres something N wants that one of her friends have got, or worse, a slighty envious comparison on how so-and-so’s bedroom/kitchen…house is bigger than ours. Luckily, even if we have a tiny flat in town, we have a massive garden at our beach property, so N takes pride in that.
I just cant help but feel somewhat scared of this burgeoning materialism at such young age. Kids nowadays have too many things, and its the fault of us parents for buying them for whatever reason – guilt? making up for what we may have lacked as kids? or maybe we’re also keepiing up with the Joneses?
