One of the things my husband and I have done for our children is to start saving for them. We opened bank accounts for each of them, and when their piggybanks are full (filled by us, where we’ve gotten into the practice of emtpying out our change every day into them) , periodically take the change to the bank and deposit it into their accounts. When our son did a television commercial and got paid quite handsomely for it, we put that in as well.
So all well and good, but how about their Emotional Bank Account? When I first learned about that concept, I was extremely concerned whether I was making enough regular deposits there as well. After all, what good would a fat account full of money be to them in 20 years time if emotionally they were bankrupt? I’d hate to think it, but that money we saved for them would probably go to drugs or alcohol.
So here is HOW to get that emotional bank account filled starting today, courtesy of Ellen C. Braun:
An emotional bank account? Think of it this way: When your checking account is overdrawn, it is hard for you to give away money. Similarly, people have emotional bank accounts that must be sufficiently full for them to give away- not money, but time, personal responsibility, and good behavior.
Adding regular “deposits” in your kid’s emotional bank account is smart investing in their future, so they will feel secure in “withdrawing” or giving back to you in the form of respect and proper obedience of your rules. A child who feels that he is running a “negative balance” will gain pleasure from making Mom or Dad get angry. In a backwards psychological way, the power the child yields over his parents in driving them to extreme frustration can fill an otherwise empty emotional bank account. It’s the classic case of the child who would rather get negative attention from their parents than no attention. Being yelled at is better than being ignored, as it fills his emotional account with a “bad currency” rather than leaving it “in the red”.
Here are some suggestions of “deposits” to bump up the balance in your child’s emotional bank account:
1) Give him a gift for no reason.
2) Place a note that says, “I love you” in her lunch bag.
3) Let him choose (from options you provide) the next family vacation.
4) Spend time alone with her at a location of her choice
5) Truly listen when she speaks to you
6) Believe in him, and his ideas.
7) Do a surprise favor for her.
8) Give him specific and truthful complements.
Making regular deposits in your children’s emotional bank accounts will yield dividends beyond any those of the highest-performing stock on the market!
[tags]Bank accounts, emotional bank account[/tags]
Originally posted on December 17, 2006 @ 9:01 pm