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The Giving Child

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There has always been a big deal placed on gifted children. There are schools that even hold seminars to let parents have a clue on how to enhance their children’s gifts. But it is not just the parents’ responsibility to find out the talents of their children. They also have to teach their children how to give to others and if they could use those talents for others’ benefits, well and good.

Fathers are usually said to be the disciplinarian in the family. Mothers are said to be more of the caring type. But this is not always the case and either way, they both have to make sure that their child has a balanced life. Too much discipline or military-like discipline at a young age might make the child focus on rules. Parents must be an example to the child early on.

There are different things that you could do to show how to be giving. Take for example team sports like basketball. You need to pass the ball to others. It is part of your strategy as a team to score. If you were always getting the ball and not giving it to others, they will not get the chance to shoot the ball or pass it yet another time. That could make the team lose the game.

Another thing that you could do is when you are with your neighbors, you could share the joy that you feel, let your child see it. Also, teach your child how to be more sociable too. Sometimes you would encounter neighbors that are difficult to deal with but things will be quite alright if you crack a joke to break the ice. Show these people love and your child will realize it.

Keeping Your Kid As A Friend

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As children begin school they spend less time with parents, and their friends become more important. Youth begin to create their own identity through what they do, where they go, and who they know. Often teens with low self-esteem or high anxiety will seek a “quick fix” of approval from a peer group. However, if children have been given strategies early in life to deal with tough decisions, they will be able to face these tests with good results.

Early in life, children should be given smaller decisions to make (which shirt to wear, which game to play, how to arrange their room). Children who have been allowed to experiment with and learn that decisions have consequences are better able as teens to make tougher decisions! Parents who always TELL their children what to do and control their behaviour with no choice by the child are preparing their children to listen to others without ever developing an inner voice to guide them for a lifetime.

Here are some essential tips-:

– Stay involved and connected. Talk and listen to your children. Know their friends, their school experience, and what their world is like. Parents busy with work and children busy with school activities have very little time to interact. That’s why it takes special effort. Here are some suggestions for connecting with your child:

– Be a sounding board. Make it clear that you are willing to listen.

– Use everyday family activities to stay close. Making dinner, running errands, taking a walk can all be turned into quality family time.

– Build in extra time to “check-in” at bedtime. Do not assume your child has outgrown this important bedtime ritual.

– Use notes, bulletin boards, and even e-mail to communicate with each other.

– Get to know your child’s friends by inviting them to your home and on family outings.

Helping Your Preschooler Adjust

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Preschoolers need loving reassurance and support. They have little control
over their own lives and are too young to use problem-solving skills to work
through situations.

Common stressful situations include: starting or changing day-care, starting
preschool, the arrival of a new baby or family member, being separated from
a parent, being disciplined, and toilet training. Preschoolers also worry
that they will be deserted or starve, and they may become fearful of
strangers. Scary things, sickness, and the unknown also are stressful.

You will know that your child is suffering from too much stress if he has
less energy than normal, is more irritable, has night terrors or nightmares,
more frequent temper tantrums, becomes more clinging or demanding, or is
crying more than usual.

What can you do? It is up to you to recognize warning signs of stress and
help your child through the difficulty. Help your child to understand the
situation. Explain what is going on in simple, reassuring language.
Encourage your child to talk about his fears. He needs to learn to say
things like, “I don’t like it when your dog barks,” or “I’m afraid to go
into that dark room.”

Don’t tell your child that his fears are silly; they are very real to him.
Ease his tension by offering understanding, support and plenty of affection.
Holding and cuddling a young child will help to ease the stress. Finally,
you can increase your child’s sense of security by remaining calm during
times of difficulty.

When should you seek help? When you are unsuccessful in attempts to help
your child, or when the problem is too much for you to handle, get
professional help. Don’t hesitate to ask for advice.

Things To Do Instead Of Physical Discipline. Part 1

By

ddd

Research confirms what many parents instinctively feel when they don’t like to spank their child, but they don’t know what else to do. The latest research from Dr. Murray Strauss at the Family Research Laboratory affirms that spanking teaches children to use acts of aggression and violence to solve their problems. It only teaches and perpetuates more violence, the very thing our society is so concerned about. This research further shows that children who have been spanked are more prone to low self-esteem, depression and accept lower paying jobs as adults. So, what do you do instead?

– Get Calm

First, if you feel angry and out of control and you want to spank or slap your child, leave the situation if you can. Calm down and get quiet. In that quiet time you will often find an alternative or solution to the problem. Sometimes parents lose it because they are under a lot of stress. Dinner is boiling over, the kids are fighting, the phone is ringing and your child drops the can of peas and you lose it. If you can’t leave the situation, then mentally step back and count to ten.

– Take Time For Yourself

Parents are more prone to use spanking when they haven’t had any time to themselves and they feel depleted and hurried. So, it is important for parents to take some time for themselves to exercise, read, take a walk or pray.

– Be Kind, But Firm

Another frustrating situation where parents tend to spank is when your child hasn’t listened to your repeated requests to behave. Finally, you spank to get your child to act appropriately. Another solution in these situations is to get down on your child’s level, make eye contact, touch him gently and tell him, in a short, kind but firm phrase, what it is you want him to do. For example, “I want you to play quietly.”

– Give Choices

Giving your child a choice is an effective alternative to spanking. If she is playing with her food at the table ask- “Would you like to stop playing with your food or would you like to leave the table?” If the child continues to play with her food, you use kind but firm action by helping her down from the table. Then tell her that she can return to the table when she is ready to eat her food without playing in it.

Pampering Recipes For Mom. Part 2

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dd

Here are some more easy recipes harassed Moms can try at home!

Herbal Conditioning Oil

You will need:
1/2 cup dried chamomile flowers
1/4 cup dried rosemary leaves
1 cup safflower or sunflower oil
Place the herbs in the top of a double boiler and add the oil. Heat for 30 minutes. Pour into a wide mouthed jar. Cover with a piece of muslin secured with a rubber band. Let this stand in a warm place for about a week, stirring each day. Strain the oil into a clean jar. To Use-Warm about 1/2 cup of the oil, less if your hair is shorter, over VERY low heat for a few minutes. Rinse your hair with hot water and squeeze out excess water with your hands. Rub the warm oil into your hair and scalp. Cover with a shower cap, then a warm damp towel. Condition for 20-30 minutes then shampoo to remove the oil.

Easy Herbal Hair Rinse
Pour 2 cups boiling water over 2 tablespoons dried rosemary. Steep this for 15 minutes,strain and rinse hair with the water.

Honey and Cream Facial
Combine one teaspoon honey with two tablespoons of heavy whipping cream. Beat together and pat onto your face, rubbing gently and smoothing your skin as you do this. Leave on for a few minutes while preparing a cup of tea or your breakfast, then rinse with warm water.

Pampering Recipes For Mom. Part 1

By

ss

Moms never pamper themselves enough. One thing to helps Moms feel pampered is using homemade bath, skin and hair treatments. They are easy to make and very soothing. Plus if you set aside an evening once a month to pamper yourself through a home spa– it becomes a comforting ritual that you will look forward to each time!

Using Bath Teas

Herbal bath teas are VERY easy to make and use. Basically you are making a “tea” or an infusion that you then add to your bath. You can use small muslin bags that are premade or you can sew your own with a piece of muslin and tie it tightly at the top with string. A piece of finely woven cheesecloth will work also by placing the ingredients in the middle of a square, gathering and tying tightly. The most basic way is to steep your bath tea in a bowl or large mug, then it and add it to your bath. The key is to steep your herbs in boiling water, then add to your bath. Steep for at least 10-15 minutes, but longer is fine.

Dried herbs are ok for bath teas, but you can also use fresh herb leaves from your garden. One favorite combination is mint and lavender. Add about 1/2 cup of each to a muslin bag and steep for about 10-15 minutes. Grab a magazine, light a candle, brew a cup of regular tea for drinking, run the bath and add the bath tea. If you are using a cloth bag or bundle you can also add that to the tub. The nice thing about bath teas is the simplicity and the aroma. You’ll need to experiment and find out what which herbs work best in your bath. These suggestions will get you started:

Use 1/2-1 cup of a combination of the following-
-dried mint
-dried chamomile
-dried lavender
-dried rosemary
-dried rose petals
-ground oatmeal (in your blender)
-dried milk

Don’t be afraid to experiment. Perhaps try a 1/2 cup of mint, chamomile and lavender, but only a small amount of rosemary. Or choose 2 of the herbs and use 1 cup each, plus a cup of dried milk for a soothing milk bath. If you buy the dried herbs in bulk or dry or own they are not very expensive, and you can store them in a fairly cool cupboard in jars. Try adding baby oil to the bath while it’s running and the bath tea for a messy, yet very moisturizing soak!

Stay at Home Parenting. Some Facts

By

gg

Good old-fashioned family values may not be dead. They’ve just got a new gender twist. According to an online poll of 731 parents by one of the largest parenting sites on the Web, and AOL, half of the moms and dads quizzed said they think women should stay at home with their kids and not work if money isn’t an issue. But a surprising 22 percent said that Dad could stay with the kids instead of Mom, especially if Mom earns a bigger paycheck. The idea that Mom (or Dad) could work for personal fulfillment, instead of financial need, was given the thumbs down by many parents.

Bonding
One benefit many talk about was the special bonding that takes place between parent and children when they are able to stay home.

Development
Many stay-at-home parents felt that, by staying home with their children, their kids were benefiting by developing faster.

Mr. Mom is Still Scarce
According to a 2002 report by the U.S. Census Bureau, “stay-at-home” dads numbered only 189,000 compared to 11 million “stay-at-home moms” for the 41 million children under 15 living with two parents. Obviously, full-time parenting is still predominantly female territory. However, it is important to note that about 3-in-10 children under 18 living with one parent, lives with a single father. There is still obviously a huge difference in who plays the predominant care-taker.

A Brilliant Potty Training Tip: M & Ms!!

By

mm

When I was five or six years old, my best friend Jenna’s little sister was being potty trained. In their upstairs bathroom they kept a small bowl full of M&Ms so that when Betsy used the potty she would be rewarded with one. I remember one day I couldn’t resist the M&Ms anymore. While in the bathroom under the guise of actually needing to use the facilities, I ate all but maybe three of the M&Ms in that bowl. I felt guilty, but man, they tasted so good. I was only a little kid, but I never forgot how enticing those M&Ms looked perched on the sink cabinet. So, 25 or so years later as I’m trying to interest my own daughter in potty training again, I thought of those M&Ms.

Caught stalled in the zone of potty training, I needed a brilliant new plan to ignite interest in my two-and-a-half-year old, Molly. Let me tell you, I thought of one! I believe it’s the perfect, no-fail, two-part, potty-training plan.

So, we headed to the store and bought the two major components in the plan: M&Ms and a package of princess pull-ups.

The ingredients to this potent mixture of potty training mania are perfect for Molly. She knows what the wonderful little M&M candies taste like from her infrequent opportunities to have them (mostly around holidays or birthday parties) and LOVES them. She is even more excited about the prospect of eating them possibly several times a day! Then there’s the Princess Pull-Ups. That’s right, on the market they have pull-up diapers (meant to be more like training pants than actual diapers) that have princesses and hearts and flowers all over them. They are beautiful. In essence, they are a little girl’s dream of what the best underpants in the world should look like.

Like I said, this is a brilliant potty training plan.

We’ve set up “the plan” as follows: We keep a little baggie of M&Ms in the bathroom and Molly gets to eat one (her choice of color, of course) every time she uses the bathroom. If she is able to go No. 2 in her potty seat, she gets two, that’s right, two M&Ms. In addition, she gets to wear her beautiful princess pull-ups, or as we call them her “big-girl-princess-pants” all day long. What a great deal!

So, we’ve got the potty seat, the books, the extra princess pull-ups and the M&Ms all set up in the bathroom. We’ve hatched our plan to Molly who is excited and eager. All is well. I know we are in the very early stages, but I’m pretty confident that this is going to be a brilliant, no-fail potty training technique. We’ve tailored the incentives to Molly and think that they will work. Of course princess pull-ups and candy wouldn’t work for every child, but I think we’ve got a good shot. We’ll see.

I must admit, sometimes when I’m in the bathroom I steal a couple M&Ms for myself. I can’t help it. They just look so good sitting there, but really, isn’t that the point?