Everyone has their own set of ground rules that govern the home. Many of us pick up these rules from our own parents while other rules are perhaps learned along the way. I found some interestingly unique rules from CNN that (apparently) work. Care to read about them?

You can’t be in the room when I’m working unless you work, too.
Goal: Get your child to help, or stop bugging you, while you do chores.
I found this rule really interesting and to be honest I have not thought of it. How many times have you tried to finish your chores around the house only to get interrupted countless times by your child? Mommy I want some water. Mommy what are you doing? Mommy let’s play. So on…If you enforce this rule, you can solve this problem. Not only will you get more things done, your child will also be more productive.

I don’t work past 8 p.m.
Goal: Regular bedtimes and time off for you.

This is actually a twisting of the bedtime rule. Our bedtime is 8:00 pm. Oftentimes, though, the kids do not want to follow this rule. The CNN article suggests taking the focus away from the kids and putting it on yourself. Instead of restricting their activities, restrict yours. YOU stop working at 8 so they cannot rely on you for anything after than time. As such, they should go to bed instead. It’s all in the perspective, isn’t it?

There are a couple more of these rules with a twist and perhaps we can take a look at them next time.

I was browsing through some of my favorite parenting blogs earlier when I ran across an article talking about “sick” manners. Naturally, the post’s title caught my eye. What does the blogger mean by “sick” manners? Kori Rodley Irons says:

“Cover your mouth when you cough” is just the beginning of the manners that can keep an ill person from being a complete horror in public. Ideally, of course, we wouldn’t leave the house when we are sick but that just is not the reality. It is up to us as parents to teach our children what is appropriate manners for coping with an illness while out in public.

Ah, I see what she is trying to say. As I read on, I realized that indeed, there are many children who do not know how to conduct themselves properly when they are sick. On the one hand, children should not really be out of the house if they are not feeling well. On the other hand, minor illnesses such as a cold or cough are sometimes not enough reasons to keep a child cooped up. This is especially true when the illness is not so serious.

Do you teach your child to cover his or her mouth or nose when he or she sneezes? When he or she coughs? This is something very basic that sometimes it is overlooked. I have seen countless children at the mall or the park who do not seem to know about the concept of covering their mouth or nose.

Then again, as Kori said in her post, it is not only the children. Adults are also guilty of the lack of manners! Again, it is by example that we can best teach them.

I was watching TV last night – a very rare occurrence to be sure – when I something caught my eye. Oprah was featuring several families who were challenged to change their lifestyle and to live on less what they normally did. The idea appealed to me so I set the remote control down and tuned in.

The idea was for all the members of the family to abide by the rules that Oprah had set. These rules were varied, some of them were to only have 1 hour of television or computer in a day. This included video games. Lights that were not used were to be turned off. The whole family was not to spend on anything except for food. The challenge lasted for a week.

As I watched the footage of the families trying to live up to the challenge, I felt a mixture of emotions run through me. I felt irritation at the children who acted like brats. I found myself blaming the parents for raising their kids that way. Then I felt admiration for them for wanting to live up to the challenge. I felt sad because the kids were miserable without their gadgets and they felt that they didn’t have anything to do. In the end, I felt challenged myself.

The whole idea was more than about living on less. It involved setting limits as a parent and setting a good example. There was this mom who couldn’t control what her children did because she herself could not help but break the rules – she needed to shop online. She needed to watch a movie.

I realized more than ever that raising kids is such a huge responsibility. We cannot afford to spoil them and let them do whatever they want if we want them to be responsible adults. Again, teaching by example is something that we all have to do.

I was browsing the Internet for news today when I saw a compelling headline. It read “Where were the parents? Children accused in deadly beating.” Needless to day, I immediately clicked on the link and proceeded to read the piece of news.

Apparently, five children have been accused of beating an old man to death. Some of the children are as young as 13 years old and the victim was 81 years old. He was viciously beaten to death in an alley at 5 a.m.

Based on the news report that I read, when this incident became public, residents of the area were all asking the same question: “Where were the parents?”

I have mixed reactions to this kind of question. On the one hand, why were the parents immediately to blame? On the other hand, these were children and indeed, their parents should have been responsible for them, especially since they were out of their homes at 5 in the morning. They should have been in bed, sleeping!

This is perhaps an extreme example but just imagine where your children could be and what they could be doing in the wee hours of the morning if you were as lax with them as the parents of these children were. Your kids may not go around beating old men to their deaths but there are so many other things that could happen to them.

I believe in giving children a certain amount of freedom but I do believe that I have to draw the line when it comes to certain times of the day or night. Of course, this example goes much deeper than the children being out at that time. It goes much deeper. When I read such news, I realize once again the very important role that we play in our children’s lives. It still scares me sometimes.

I was eating at our office pantry the other day when some of my female colleagues started talking about their children. These two colleagues are relatively new moms, with kids aged around 2 or 3. They are quite young and are very much hands on parents. One is even majored in psychology in college and knows a lot about child development.

So anyway, I heard them talking about putting their babies on a diet. I heard a pretty explosive WHAT? in my head. Why on earth would you put your 2-year old kid on a diet unless she had some condition that necessitated it? I couldn’t keep my curiosity in reign so I asked.

The answer was that babies at that age should only have so and so amount of milk in a day. Apparently, her baby is used to consuming more than that so she decided to limit the amount of milk that her baby is consuming. This is so to avoid any negative effects of overeating – or drinking in this case.

My thoughts? One, what if your baby does need more than the recommended amount? Even if there is a suggested amount, babies are unique. Two, isn’t it a bit too early to put a two-year old on a diet?

I don’t know. I just may have a different perception of the situation. What do you guys think about putting toddlers on a diet?

Photo courtesy of Reini68

The problem of drinking and driving has been around for as long as I can remember. This problem is not limited to a certain age group but spans all generations. Of course, as parents, we should be concerned about our teenagers drinking and driving. I believe that the most basic of measures that we can take is to set a good example. If we go out for dinner, we should not drive if we have had a drink too many. Actually, I make it a point to NOT allow anyone who has drank more than 2 beers to drive.

Still, some things may be out of our control when it comes to drinking and driving. As much as we would like to bank on our children to stick to their values, there are times when their peers may not. Nancy Shute – you may remember her from a series of posts we had not long ago – recently wrote an article on how to curb teen drinking and driving.

She writes:

Yanking teenagers’ driver’s licenses if they’re caught using a fake ID to buy alcohol may be one of the most useful new tools in reducing the risk of drinking and driving, according to a study of state laws aimed at discouraging teenage drinking.

“Almost everyone knows that it’s illegal to use a fake ID,” says Jim Fell, a researcher at the Pacific Institute for Research and Evaluation in Calverton, Md., who conducted the study, published in the journal Accident Analysis and Prevention. Six states suspend licenses for using fake IDs, and those states saw the only significant reduction in drunk-driving fatalities among teenagers from 1998 to 2004, a drop of 7 percent, based on federal accident data.

I am all for this law. Though some may say that the law is too tough, I would rather have them be tough early on than show some leniency and then have my kid suffer from a drunk driver accident. What do you think?

Here are other reasons for you to send your kids to summer camp in the next couple of months, courtesy of Little Red’s Big Ideas.

Camp is a place for every child to learn: “Nationwide there has been a 78 percent increase in camps with academic programs in the last nine years and a 40 percent increase in ACA-Accredited® camps offering performing arts programs over the last five years.

The thing I like about summer camp is that it is a place for alternative ways of learning. Our children can continue learning – even the same things that they can learn in school – in a setting that may be more conducive to learning. I believe that sometimes, learning is all about the atmosphere. Children might actually learn more in different kinds of settings.

It’s about the learning, not the grading: “In school, children study hard and push themselves — and often overstress themselves — for a grade and performance measurement. While grades are important during the school year, what camp provides is a unique learning opportunity — a chance to explore and learn without fear of a grade. The summer camp experience is truly one of discovery, connection, and growth.”

I think this point is very very important. One thing I wouldn’t want my child to be is to be too grade conscious. Don’t get me wrong. I think it is a good thing to want to get good grades but I think that it should be moderate. Grades are not everything and our children should learn that.

Summer camp is good for the kids – it seems that that is the general consensus. But exactly how does summer camp achieve that? I read this great article on reasons summer camps create great kids. Little Red sums it up nicely.

Camps Don’t “Teach to the Test”: “What we are seeing is that schools today are increasingly “teaching to the test” and in the process stripping out invaluable parts of their curriculums such as theater, dance, art and music programs, and physical education.

The idea is that children who go to summer camps do not participate because they are going to be tested at the end of the whole thing BUT simply because they need an outlet for all that creative energy that may be pent up within them. They go to summer camp to have fun, period.

Learn to Love and Respect the Natural World: “There is a real danger that our children’s generation won’t pick up the environmental mantle since they are spending a record-low number of hours in nature.

Learning to appreciate the natural world is something that we cannot take for granted. This is especially true for children who grow up in the city. Unless their parents make it a point to spend time outdoors with the kids, the children may very well grow up not having a healthy appreciation for nature. Spending a couple of weeks outdoors in summer camp can help offset months and months of city living.

(to be continued)

Every year, when summer comes around, summer camp programs are held all over the United States. It used to be that summer camps were all similar – bonding with nature and other kids, learning to socialize, learning outdoor skills, and the like. Today, however, there are many different kinds of camps that children can participate in during the summer.

I have a question in mind, though. Are summer camps really necessary? Why do we send our children to summer camps? Can’t they have a perfectly good and fun summer at home? After all, the latter choice would save us parents a considerable amount of money. Indeed, why do we regard summer camps as a must during this time of the year?

I tried looking for answers to these questions but it seems that everyone thinks that summer camps are part of life – and that’s the end of the discussion. I thought that maybe it is a cultural thing – like, it has always been part of American culture. However, it seems that the rest of the world are into summer camps as well, despite the fact that summer occurs at different times of the year. In fact, there are quite a lot of summer camps held in different countries year in and year out.

So what is it with summer camps? I think that I shall read more on this for the next post. Don’t get me wrong – I have nothing against summer camps, I am merely thinking aloud here. Maybe some of you have answers to my questions?

Photo courtesy of bluviolin

This is to be expected, right? After all, even us adults may have the tendency to ignore the advice of other people who are close to us. Yet what bothers me is the fact that some children, especially teenagers, would ignore their parents’ advice and then follow the same exact bit of wisdom if it comes from someone else.

I haven’t really thought about this idea much until I read Kori Rodley Irons’ post “They Might Need to Hear it from Someone Else (Too).” She says:

No matter how wise and forthcoming I think I am with my children, they are never as keen on my advice and wisdom as I imagine they should be-in fact, they are often downright resentful! Over the years, I have learned that often times it is not the advice that is sour-they just need to hear it from someone else.

Though this is not always the case, there certainly are times when it happens. Is this because of something not quite right in the relationship between parents and children? Maybe, but I would like to think that children go through a stage wherein they need reaffirmation from elements outside of their immediate family circle.

This is even truer for teenagers who tend to look to their peers for acceptance and affirmation. Or perhaps they have an uncle or an aunt whom they feel an attachment to. No matter who it is, they just seem to need to hear certain things from them as well – even if their own parents have already said the same thing.

I guess I should not be that bothered. After all, I do the same thing to my husband sometimes – or so he says.