How many times have you heard or uttered the phrase “Grow up?” I suppose that you can not count. This phrase is often used in a wide variety of contexts. Yet what does grow up really mean? What does it mean to be grown up? If you are of legal age and you have children, does that necessarily mean that you are all grown up?
Well, if you were to ask author John Cheetham, parents are not necessarily “grown up.” This author from Melbourne has a new book called “Grow Up! How to raise an adult by being one yourself” and in it, he challenges parents to quit behaving like overgrown children and start acting their age. I don’t have a copy of the book as of yet but the information presented in News.com.au has gotten my interest. Here’s a sampling:
He says parents should stop drinking, smoking, swearing and losing their temper – particularly when driving. He thinks parents are too over-emotional, too over-protective and over-react to their teens’ faults. “The most important thing is to remember the power of example,” Dr Cheetham said. “Parents need to be in tune with their emotions – it’s not what you say, it’s what you do. And this means not having an episode of road rage on the way to taking your son to get his learners.”
If you think about it, this is an age old principle. Walk the talk and so on. I suppose, though, that in this day and age of indulgence, we can always use a reminder like this book. Now here is my question: Are you a grown up parent?
Fruits
We all know that fruit is the best thing to give our kids. Luckily my three kids love the stuff, although they have varying tastes (my girl loves pineapple, the boys don’t!). Bananas, apples and oranges are the most popular, and so are mangoes. Just yesterday, even baby Wills joined in by wolfing down half a mango in record time.
I’m not really a fan of frozen or canned fruit, but I do buy those mandarin oranges in plastic containers as my son likes to take it to school. Fresh is the best way to go I say, and organic if you can. If you can’t, make sure to wash the fruit with a natural “fruit and veggie” wash and peel it well.
I have to admit though that if I have to buy fruit at the supermarket, I sometimes have difficulty discerning which fruit is good, which isn’t. Isn’t it annoying when you buy a melon that looks perfectly decent, you open it up and it turns out to be tasteless or worse, sour?
Here’s some good advice I found:
Apples: Look for firmness. Brown or tan “scald” marks don’t affect taste, but soft bruises that are discolored indicate damage.
• Avocados: Available year-round, as they are grown in Florida and California. Choose slightly soft fruit, or if bought unripe, allow three to five days at room temperature to ripen. Refrigeration slows ripening.
• Bananas: Best eaten when yellow with brown speckles. Bananas get damaged below 55 degrees Fahrenheit, so never refrigerate.
• Blueberries: In season from May to September. Look for uniform color and plumpness; avoid oozing berries.
• Grapefruit: This fruit is sold ready-to-eat; avoid fruit that is too soft (a sign of decay). Scratches and spots on the peel don’t usually indicate that anything’s wrong.
• Grapes: Select those with green, pliable stems that the grapes don’t fall off of easily — a sign that the grapes themselves are fresh.
• Kiwi: It’s ripe when it yields to the touch but doesn’t leave indentations.
• Melons: A stem that’s still attached may indicate the fruit isn’t ripe. With cantaloupe, avoid those with an overly yellow color and a soft skin, which indicates overripeness. Sniff for a sweet, pleasing smell. Most cantaloupes require two to four days to ripen at room temperature at home.
• Oranges: Should be heavy, indicating juiciness. Brown mottles on Florida or Texas oranges are common and don’t affect flavor.
• Peaches: In season from May to September. Very hard peaches are unlikely to ripen. Choose freestone varieties for eating.
• Pears: Should be firm but slightly soft. Their color depends on the type: Bartletts should be pale to rich yellow, while Boscs are brownish yellow. Shriveled pears will not ripen.
• Raspberries: Stains on the container may indicate mushy or moldy berries inside. Berries should not have their caps attached.
• Strawberries: In peak supply in May and June. Look for the cap stem still attached, and avoid fruit with white shoulders or large discolored patches.
Photo via plumandjello
Organized Mom
I have never been one of those people you’d call “super” organized. But after having my third child early this year, I’ve found that one of the best ways to keep my sanity, and for things to run (relatively) smoothly in my growing household is to try and be as organized as I possibly can. That’s always been a rather daunting word in my vocabulary as no matter how hard I try, there is always some amount of chaos in my home.
But with the “busiest” time of the year upon us, and indeed, a New Year a mere month or so away, its a good time to start, and for somewhat disorganized Moms like myself, the first thing I would do is to create a Weekly Schedule and Menu. I promise, its worked wonders for me! Here’s how:
Tip 1 For the Disorganized: The Weekly Schedule
1. Every Sunday, I set aside about half an hour to make our weekly schedule and menu. I take a cookbook or two and sit with my laptop for about half an hour at a time when the kids are busy (a dvd is a good idea) or better, napping.
2. For simplicity sake, I make a chart like above (sorry I haven’t been able to scan mine!) section off each day onto 3 sections. Morning, afternoon, evening. Each day having its own column.
3. First, I put in the family activities for the week. For example:
Monday- Morning -Oliver has no class/ Cat grooming at vet 11 a.m.
Afternoon – Boys playgroup @ home 3 pm./ Nat, gymnastics 4.30
Evening- Mark (hubby), meeting, home late
4. Then, with my cookbooks (or online), I look for meal ideas for the week and type them in the appropriate time. With the activities of the family already there, I know who’ll be around for what meal (and snacks), and best of all, I can make the weekly grocery list, knowing exactly what I need, which helps keep me in budget. I also look at previous weeks menus (kept neatly in my desktop file), to see what worked well and what didn’t.
5. Edit, print and stick it on the fridge. And voila! The family is set for a week of organized bliss.
Photo via Lullaby Mom
Most first time parents due to inexperience, panic in the face of medical emergencies. Me and my wife for example have two totally different approaches to emergencies such as the frequent bumps and scratches that sends your child running to you so learning to recognize something serious is the key and experience would educate you best. My wife gets into a panicked state every time she sees blood accompanied by the uncontrollable cries of our child, I merely step back, take a look at the situation and analyze the situation if it needs medical attention or if first aid can do the trick. For example, an open wound and compound fracture is always serious so speed to the hospital for care. High fever during teething is normal and can be handled with analgesics while being in constant contact with your pediatrician who would tell you to get help if needed.
Having experienced medical emergencies as a volunteer which developed my abilities to recognize life-threatening and trivial injuries, just hope more people would recognize this as a vital skill to have for it helps you lower your insurance premiums. Do some research on the web for health tips that can add to your knowledge of which emergencies to treat seriously and which are mere casual. Information and knowledge is the key, the more trips you take to the ER, the more a risk you are for the insurance firm so they have the option to ask more for insurance.
Are you a good listener? I actually find it amusing that I got the idea for this post from one of those online quizzes in a social networking site. I like taking those quizzes when I am passing away time. They may not be as accurate as they can be but they are fun and sometimes, provides valuable insight – like this one. As I was reading my results (I am supposedly a good listener although I don’t always come across as one), I could not help by relate the topic to being a parent.
As Munashe shares in his blog, the art of listening is perhaps one of the most important – if not THE most important – things that a parent should develop. What does the art of listening entail?
I believe that it is more than sitting there and hearing the things that your child has to say. It is not a passive activity but an interactive one. You actively listen by understanding what your child is saying and contributing something to the conversation. More so, listening entails understanding that maybe, at times, your child just wants to be heard and does not really need to be told what to do.
I think that is one problem that arises when children share things with their parents – we sometimes automatically think that we need to provide a solution to whatever they are presenting. Have you ever thought that maybe your child just wants to rant and let off steam and be heard? I sure know that I feel that way a lot of times.
So do you take the time out to really listen to your child? How do you listen?
Depression, anger, lack of social skills and many more, these are classical signs of either underlying sickness or too much stress. Nope, you’re not crazy but might need help, who needs psychologists who charge tons of money. Get help from people like you who may have overcome these challenges themselves and have ample experience to help you through. From seasoned professionals who are well versed in such cases or merely people who want to help and have dealt with people like you, what’s important is to accept that something is wrong and that help is needed.
Acceptance is one of the most difficult things to do, for no one, and we mean no one wants to admit it outright they have issues. Pent up anger can get out of hand and easily turn violent without therapy and counseling. Have a child who seems out of the game most of the time, get help quick so you can get help on tips how you can help them develop into more lively kids.
Getting help is the first step, recovery is the ultimate goal which we all strive to attain. Learn how people overcome fear, anxiety and dread of things we take fore granted. Learn how your fears can be turned into positive approaches to the most common problems we face. The current economic slump isn’t helping either, lost your job, need help or simply want a sympathetic ear to ease away the pain. Depression is so hard to battle when you’re alone. You sacrifice your health, family and life for something that can be addresses with simple yet effective conversations. Get help, get on your way to a healthier you, inside and out!
Written by brian on July 20th, 2011. 7 Comments »
Filed under Dads, Emotions, Health, Home, Inspiration, News, Relationships, Safety, Sleep, Teens, Tips, Website.
Let’s face it. One of the things we parents have to deal with is our kids getting sick or injured. It’s a part of growing up, especially if you have accident-prone kids like I do.
My four-year-old Ollie gets a bump/wound/scratch almost daily, and a few months ago had a bad accident in our garden where he cut his head open and was rushed to the ER. While playing with his big sister, he fell through the fence constructed by our handyman and nearly fell into our pool (which had just been cleaned out and empty). He was grabbed just in time by the handyman, so didn’t fall into the pool but slammed his head on the tile. My husband saw the whole thing and was going to kill the handyman for his shoddy work (it wasn’t nailed in properly), but he did save Ollie’s life…so it was a hard one. Luckily Ollie didn’t need stitches and aside from my husband being covered in blood ala Carrie, it turned out to be a minor injury. It could have been much much worse though, so we are grateful and have since taken extra precautions to make sure that all areas in our home were safe. Ollie was feeing a bit traumatized for the next few days (as were all of us), but I think he’s recovered now.
Here are some great tips from After The Injury, a really useful website for parents who have to deal with their child’s injuries. Whether your child’s injury is big or small, it helps to remember these things so that your child recovers faster.
While doctors know that injury prevention is the best “medicine,” the sad truth is that kids still do get hurt- lots of them- even with the most vigilant parents. In fact, 9.2 million children are treated in an emergency room for an injury each year, making it equally important for parents to know how to handle what happens after the injury.
1. Let your child know that he or she is safe. In the first days and weeks following an injury many children fear that something bad might happen to them again. Learn more about helping your child with new fears or worries.
2. Allow children to talk about their feelings and worries, if they want to. Let your child know that it’s ok to feel a little upset. The circumstances of an injury can be frightening, and it’s not always easy to know how to talk with your child about it. Here are some things that other parents have found helpful for talking with their child.
3. Go back to normal routines. It is important to help your child get plenty of sleep, eat regular meals, keep up with schoolwork, and spend time with friends. Here are some options to consider if the injury gets in the way of things s/he used to do.
4. Increase time with family and friends. Children who get support from family and friends seem to do better in recovering after upsetting events. Try reading together, playing games, or watching movies together. Listen to what some parents had to say about how to help their children remain connected after an injury.
5. Take time to deal with your own feelings. In addition to all of the things you do to help your child, it’s important to remember to take good care of yourself. Learn more about your own reactions and get tips for taking care of yourself.
6. Keep in mind people in the same family can react in different ways. Your child’s feelings and worries about the injury might be different from yours. It’s important to monitor how your child is doing and when reactions might signal trouble. Learn how to gauge your child’s emotional recovery and identify any reactions that might need special attention.
Visit After the Injury to read full tip sheets, learn more about child injury and pain care, take a quiz to rate your child’s reactions to injury, and create a personalized care plan to help parents help their child recover from injury.
Photo via Ramberg Media
It’s sale season! My favorite time of the year to hit the stores and stock up with some great buys for the whole family (especially Mom!).
Now I’m the first to admit that children and shopping work together about as well as oil and water, but if the circumstances dictate that you must take them to that unmissable-department-store-sale to get that pair of jeans you’ve been lusting for (now half price!), there are some things you can do to avoid meltdown and hopefully snag a few good purchases as well.
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Moving provides many stressors that can take an already difficult situation and make it even worse. People, in their lives, will have to move several times and for a wide variety of reasons. It might be for a new job or just for a bigger to meet the needs of a growing family. Some look at a moving as a positive and a restart or new beginning. Whatever the reason, it’s always hard for us to part with the trappings of the past. When we’re forced to make that decision we, far too often, keep things that no longer have use to us. It’s important that, during your next move, you ask yourself some hard questions to figure out if your belongings are really worth weighing you down.
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Dogs like many creatures have an inert ability to learn and getting them started early is key to avoiding problems in adult life. Being nice to have around kids, they teach them the fundamentals of responsibility that can go both ways with dog training. Simple routines that the animal can remember gives them character and takes away some of the mischievousness they possess in adult life.
Dogscan be taught many a unique skills and they often learn so much they can amaze many with that ability. Your kids can also learn with a little encouragement that their dog is a responsibility, getting to share the load of care and upkeep of the pet. Dogs live an average of 10 to 12 years depending on the breed and for a good relationship, one that is manageable to the family and home is best. Breeds that tend to love kids grow protective of their young masters as well as the rest of the family. Being social, getting them to move around is good for it develops good social behavior essential for a well mannered canine. In the end your family will have a pet that loves you all with the bond getting stronger each passing year as you both grow in love.
How many times have you heard or uttered the phrase “Grow up?” I suppose that you can not count. This phrase is often used in a wide variety of contexts. Yet what does grow up really mean? What does it mean to be grown up? If you are of legal age and you have children, does that necessarily mean that you are all grown up?
