It is said that there are basically two ways by which a child can be motivated to do what is required of him or her. There is the so-called negative motivation through punishment and there is the positive motivation through the rewards system. In creating a rewards system, parents or the adults responsible for instilling discipline in children will be teaching them to check themselves to earn privileges.
When we speak of children loving one more parent than the other, we are doing so in a context that goes beyond favoritism. Favoritism can be as simple as preferring one parent more in going to specific places or doing some activities. This can go both ways at any point in time and is generally not something to be bothered about. Loving one parent more than the other however can be a sign of serious falling out on the part of the child due to some complex undercurrent in family life.
Nothing disturbs the inner peace more of a parent than to catch one’s own child lying. It creates doubt and fear in the hearts of parents knowing that a child found it necessary to purposely hide the truth. Catching a child lie is not resolved in any way by parents going into panic or punisher mode. There are better ways of doing it which will ensure that children and parents learn from what appears to be a negative experience.
Children are Generally Truthful
Adults should be very familiar with the candidness and truthfulness of young children at the risk of exposing their own half-truths. Most of the time, it can be very funny when children expose things for what they really are since they only speak of what they see and know. Children generally do not lie unless they think they have to and this is where parents should be able to guide them as much as possible.
Children get their cue primarily from their parents. They tend to imitate adults so it would be wise for parents to be very cautious of how they deal with their own declarations. In some cases, children lie under threat of harm so parents should be very sensitive in detecting anything unusual in their child’s actions. More »
No matter how old your children get, they’ll always be your kids. Preparing to send kids to college is hard enough, but preparing to send them overseas to study for a semester or even for a longer period of time is an even bigger adjustment. Whether you’re dealing with empty nest syndrome, this is your first child to leave home or you’re somewhere in between, coping with the departure can be hard. Here are six ways you can prepare to see them off and adjust to a new lifestyle:
1. Start prepping early. The earlier the better. As soon as you find out your child is going abroad, you can help with preparing details for the trip and mentally prepping yourself for the change as well. The more time you give yourself to get used to the idea, the easier it may be when the time actually comes. Early preparation for their trip will give you plenty of time to arrange logistics like student international health insurance and also give you the peace of mind of knowing your child has everything needed for a safe trip to another country.
2. Have a plan for communication. Create a plan for communication, as well as maybe one or two backup plans. Whether you plan to use Skype, Google+ Hangout an international calling card or another method of international communication, establish how you’re going to communicate and test it out a few times beforehand. Test it on different devices and with different Internet connection speeds. Test your backup plans as well and purchase any necessary Skype or international calling credits.
3. Research the destination. You’ll have an easier time saying goodbye if you better understand what life will be like for your child in the study abroad destination. Do your research about the university, housing, neighborhoods, nearby surroundings, popular hangouts and transportation options. Ask for a copy of your child’s class schedule so you’ll have a better idea of what an average day will look like. Knowing what he’ll likely experience might help put your mind at ease.
4. Find ways to keep busy. If the departure will leave you with more spare time than you’ve previously had, you might consider finding new ways to keep busy. You could find a volunteer opportunity, join a book club or start your own, take up a new hobby, learn a new skill or get involved at your church or your child’s former school.
5. Have a talk to set expectations. Even though your child is more or less independent now, it’s always a good idea to have one last talk to set expectations about behavior. Don’t lecture, but just remind your child that in the real world, actions have consequences. Remind your child to stay safe, make wise decisions and to call if trouble arises. Encourage a good parent-adult child open communication pattern where your child feels comfortable to come to you with problems, but you’ll have to treat your child as an adult and not an adolescent.
6. Organize a proper sendoff. When the departure time finally arrives, be sure you’ve arranged a going away party. Have a themed party based on the study destination, encourage your child’s closest friends to prepare a short speech or ask each guest to write a going away message that you can compile into a scrapbook.
You’ve always taught your kids to plan ahead, and now it’s your time to follow your own advice. Preparing and planning for the departure will give you time to let go, be supportive and begin to look forward to the next step in your child’s life.
If you’ve put in a pool or moved to a house that has one recently, you’re probably wondering where you can get some toys to give the kids to play with in the water. But there’s that voice in the back of your head reminding you that the pool can also be dangerous. And indeed, everyone’s heard at least one horror story about a hapless child falling into an unattended pool. The results are never good, so it’s always a good idea to look into pool safety.
First things first: some residential zoning authorities have regulations pertaining to pool safety. These vary from place to place, so check your local laws, but they normally involve placing the pool a certain distance from your property line or installing a protective fence (normally it’s required to have a locking gate and be at least four feet tall). So, the first thing you’ll want to do is to make sure that your pool is up to code. If it is, you can start to think about what additional safety measures you’ll want to employ. More »
The most common diseases and illnesses encountered by children and adults such as colds, cough, and flu are not exactly easy to prevent but they can be. Successful prevention would entail awareness and hygiene practices based on common sense. There are many childhood diseases that are sought to be prevented through vaccines but for illnesses that strike much more frequently than others, there are some precautionary measures that can be taken that will ensure more protection especially for young children.
Sending off young children to big school may still require extra preparation. This is even with the fact that these children are not going to school for the first time. However, pre-school is a lot different from primary school and this very difference may cause some anxiety on the part of the child. Parents can do a lot to help ease those anxieties by taking into consideration the different needs of an elementary student from a kindergarten student.
Based on my own experience, I think there are at least three things parents should do to make the transition easier for a child. Elementary students are expected to be more independent than their pre-school counterparts. For children who have gone through pre-school with a lot of assistance from teachers, the higher expectations may not sink in right away. More »
It is said that children are the most trusting people in the world. In the general sense, this is probably true. On a more personal level though, it takes more than being related or being known to a child to gain his or her continuing trust.
In the traditional way of bringing up children, parents are expected to earn their trust by the responsibilities performed in the name of parenthood. It is impossible for trust not to develop as children feel the care and love that can only come from parents. In the course of bringing up a child however, there may be hindrances and obstacles that can come up that can create doubts and mistrust. More »
To spank or not to spank- that is the proverbial question that needs to be answered by each and every parent confronted with the need to discipline a child. Many have used the bible verse “Spare the rod and spoil the child” to support their approval of spanking. Others see the greater harm of inflicting pain as a way of obtaining obedience from a child. So where should parents go?
For a start,parents generally want the best for their children. Yes, even the spanking ones. Many do it in the belief that it is for the good of their children. There is no question that children need to be disciplined. However, there is likewise a need to consider the long term effects of whatever disciplinary action is chosen especially if it involves physically hurting a child. More »
Questions like “Where do babies come from?” are discomfiting enough for some parents to answer even in the comfort of one’s home. Imagine if the same question is asked in public. What if the questions seem to border on rudeness like “Why is that woman fat?”, and within hearing of the person being referred to? And how, pray-tell is a mother supposed to answer a young daughter who is questioning the different way her father pees?
It can be pretty challenging and nerve-wracking to be confronted with a child’s questions especially when there is enough audience to make the situation monumentally embarrassing. It is usually not only the content of the question that is embarrassing but also the timing. That is how it is with children though. We never know when they will strike so parents will just have to be ready when they do come. Here are some reasons why embarrassing questions are aired and the recommended way of dealing with them. More »