Be An Effective Parent: Don’t Yell In The Morning!
Today I watched the Animal School video of Ellen Braun yet again. It never fails to make me somewhat teary, but more importantly, inspires me to be a better, or as Ellen rightly says, effective parent.
I’ve blogged about this in the past, but I just can’t give enough praise to this video, or to Ellen’s website, Raising Small Souls. I’m fortunate to say that my parenting experiences have been wonderful, but as every Mom will know, there are just days (ok, weeks or even longer!), when things do get on top of you, when you find yourself shouting in the morning rush for the school bus, at homework time (“for the last time, come and do your homework NOW!!”), at bedtime (“stay in bed, please!”) and throughout the day (“don’t hit your sister!”).
My husband, who has infinite patience with the kids and has only ever blown up with them just two or three times in the 6 1/2 years we’ve been parents, keeps me in check by saying very calmly,
“you’re very angry these days”
And that’s always a good wake-up call! But aside from spousal intervention, there are a number of things you can do to stop the Mom fury ( I’ll be listing my favourites down in a future post). Ellen has an interesting article in her site which tells you to “yell at your kids in the afternoons, not in the mornings“, which is a great idea, because you can still yell, just not all day, which is do-able, right?
Now I’m all for a “joyful morning atmosphere”, but
some of her other “Rise and Shine” ideas, like making blueberry pancakes WITH the kids, is downright impossible in my household on school days. Like my husband, my daughter is a zombie for at least the first hour upon waking, so the idea of baking at 6.00 a.m. would probably solicit more yelling from me anyway. But she does make a good point in saying that:
“Let us begin with the premise that the morning sets the tone remainder of the day. We all know that ‘waking up on the wrong side of the bed’ can forecast the beginning of a troublesome day, so the opposite must hold true as well: a pleasant morning will foretell the wonderful afternoon that is ahead!”
October 28th, 2008 at 11:04 pm
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January 17th, 2010 at 9:15 am
Hi, your blog really brought into perspective how we kids/teens can really ruin parents morning who inturn ruin ours. I’m a teen and I quite agree, mornings are THE most chaotic parts of your days, and both parents and children sort of bring it on themselves but to work your way around such situations I believe you really need cooperation on both side and to work together.
I’m an intern for a parenting blog http://www.radicalparenting.com where we teens give our opinions on parenting which helps adults see things differently, there is an article concerning making compromises to handle morning chaos which you may find helpful: http://www.radicalparenting.com/2008/05/24/4-parent-hacks-for-a-nagless-morning-routine/
I hope the blog serves as inspirtation for you and other parents.