Super Model Parents
No, I am not talking about walking the runway like Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss. What I have in mind is being super (role) models for our kids. I am drawing inspiration for this post from an entry in Dr. Robyn’s blog, entitled Powerful Role Models: Seven Ways to Make a Positive Impact on Children.
As I was reading through the entry, I was taken back in time. I remembered how, as a child, I looked up to may parents so much. In my eyes, they could do no wrong. My mom was a strict disciplinarian while my dad pampered us a bit more. They both walked their talk, as they say. My perception changed somewhat as I grew older but looking back now, I realize just how much my parents’ example has shaped who I am today.
Seeing how I regarded my parents as the main role models in my life, I am quite scared as to what my children would see in me. Would they respect me in much the same way I held my parents and their principles in high regard? Would I be able to live up to their expectations or would I be a disappointment to them?
This is where the 7th point in Dr. Robyn’s post becomes really helpful – demonstrating confidence in who we are. Being a parent is really the best – and the toughest – job in the world and realizing that as parents, we have to be “supermodels” for our kids can make it even tougher. Then again, we should not be afraid to make mistakes and apologize for them if the situation arises. The important thing is that we show a good example to our children – in the best way we can.
April 7, 2008 at 3:37 am
Thanks, Lara.
So glad the article inspired you to write about this very important topic about being a role model to your kids. I was thinking this morning, as I was having breakfast with my mother, how I used to think she was perfect. This is a common perception of children since our parents are our superheroes in many ways.
As I grew up, I saw my parents’ faults– which made them more human and actually, made me love them even more. One of the most powerful things that a parent can do is admit mistakes and move forward to make things better. It teaches children that mistakes are normal, fixable, and some of life’s best lessons. It shows that you can still have confidence in your abilities and who you are even when you falter. What a gift a parent can give to a child.
Thanks again, Lara-
Dr. Robyn
April 8, 2008 at 12:45 am
Lara this is a great reminder to parents (that feel out-shouted by the media) and kids (that feel role models are non-existent lately!) to look right under our noses…At Shaping Youth we have an enrichment game that riffs off of American Idol, called “Idolized” to ask kids to come up with better role models, and it’s not surprising that most start with ‘their parents’…and then we segue to ’sift and sort’ to find some in pop culture. (difficult, but doable…would love to hear your reader’s thoughts on this…)
Also, Robyn, I think you nailed it with the vulnerability quotient on parents themselves…we NEED to be able to share our own flaws and step off that pedestal, especially if you’re in a ‘power position’ with external visibility. As the founder of nonprofit Shaping Youth, (dealing w/media & marketing’s impact on kids) my daughter has said alarmingly misguided things to me before like, “well, I can’t be PERFECT like you, mom” which she KNOWS is a huge ‘hot button’ for me, since it’s a fallacy fed by people who have framed things in ‘expert’ terms. (I’m a long shot from infallible that’s for sure, so I always have to trot out my most vulnerable, soul-searing stories so she ‘gets it’ very clearly)
I urge other parents to do the same to remain ‘connected’ rather than upheld as a role model hero beyond reproach. After all, as Steinem said, “A pedestal is as much a prison as any small space.”
In other words, ‘Keep it real’…Great post, thanks!
April 9, 2008 at 1:10 pm
You are so right. Parents really do need to BELIEVE that they are a VITAL example in the lives in their children. So many leave it to the teachers, coaches, pastors…but the kids really WANT to have their parents more involved. They want to look up to their parents.
Great post! Love your blog, I’m glad I found it. I’ll be back here often.
April 11, 2008 at 1:53 am
[...] (3) Apologize and admit mistakes: Nobody’s perfect. When you make a bad choice, let those who are watching and learning from you know that you made a mistake and how you plan to correct it. This will help them to understand that (a) everyone makes mistakes; (b) it’s not the end of the world; (c) you can make it right; and (d) you should take responsibility for it as soon as possible. By apologizing, admitting your mistake, and repairing the damage, you will be demonstrating an important yet often overlooked part of being a role model. (This point began some great conversation on parents and role models in the comments below and here.) [...]
April 13, 2008 at 6:58 am
Thanks, Bart and Shaping Youth - hope to hear more from you!
August 8, 2008 at 6:30 am
[...] and do–but celebrities really need to take heed, don’t you think? It makes you think; what makes a good role model? I mean, look what happened when Miley Cyrus did one ridiculous thing– the world stopped for [...]