Here is small selection of divorce books for parents worth checking out at your local bookstore.
1. Child Custody: Building Parenting Agreements that Work
by Mimi E. Lyster
A practical guide for dealing successfully with this touchy issue. Checklists and worksheets make the whole process with its somewhat daunting legal implications a lot simpler to face.
2. Its Not Your Fault Koko Bear
by Vicki Lansky
This is a heartwarming storybook for parents to read together with young children when facing a divorce. Parents with young kids have given this book glowing reviews saying how it helped their child get in touch with and understand their feelings when going through this difficult time. Kids really relate to this one. Highly recommended.
3. Dinosaurs Divorce
by Marc Brown
This time its dinosaurs taking on the emotional turmoil of divorce, but in a way that will engage kids and hopefully have a positive influence with its cheerfull illustrations. Its on the long side (31 pages) and the different chapters tackle issues from “What is Divorce” to “Living in Two Homes”. A good way for parents and children to open up honest dialogue.
4. Difficult Questions Kids Ask And Are Afraid To Ask About Divorce
by Meg F. Schneider
Parents with older kids (after preschool) were reassured with this book and claimed that the questions hit very close to home. The subjects and ages vary though, so an overall good range for parents.
Written by Lara on September 19th, 2006. Comments Off
Filed under Dads, Emotions, Moms, Preschoolers, Relationships, Reviews, Shopping, Teens, Tips, Toddlers.
Before you start planning tomorrow’s lunchbox, I thought it would be useful to make a quick list on what SHOULDNT go into the lunchbox. This is because of the gross amount of things you can find in any supermarket today – things, which masquerade as “healthy” items but are actually NOT.
Here’s what to be wary of:
1. Fruit Drinks - if its not 100% juice, its got very little of the real stuff in and probably masses of flavourings, sugar and coloring. Better choices to give are homemade smoothies or pure juice.
2. Fruit Snacks - I plead guilty to this as seen in my last post’s mention of fruit roll ups (but my daughter loves them!). Anything that says “with real fruit!” on it probably has very little fruit and gargantuan amounts of sugar. Yikes.
3. Processed Snacks – Cheese strings, cheese and cracker packs, and obviously crisps (despite being wholewheat etc) can be loaded with salt and saturated fats. Not good.
4. Flavoured and Kid’s Yougurt – Kids yogurt tend to be sweeter or worse, with those add-ins like sprinkles, chocolate etc which mean too far too sweet. Think of it as 5 teaspoons of white sugar in each pot.
5. Cereal Bars - On the outside these do look convincingly healthy, but the reality is actually about 40% sugar, 30% fat and some major cavities tomorrow. Did I scare you enough?
To continue from the last post, a good way to get started on daily lunchbox planning is to do it based on the 4 vital ingredients. I’ve given some ideas too below.
1. Protein
Try sandwiches filled with chicken, eggs, tuna, cheese or ham (try the turkey kind). My daughter also likes pasta or rice with chicken or tuna.
2. Complex Carbs
Complex carbohydrates, as opposed to refined carbs, release energy slowly, ensuring that your child has enough energy to last the day and wont need a coffee after lunch. Find this in whole grain breads, pasta, brown or red rice and the good old banana.
3. Calcium
Kids simply need calcium for their growth, so do remember cheese, yougurts, fromage frais and milk (including milkshakes). Experts say kids above 5 can go low-fat, but personally I’ll keep mine on whole until they hit puberty. It just seems they should enjoy whole as long as they can.
4. Fruit and Veg
Heres where they’ll get their all-important vitamins, anti-oxidants, minerals and other lovely things. I sneak the veg in pasta sauce (tomatoes and carrots), chicken meatballs (with spinach) and even cake (carrot & pineapple). My kids love raisins, oranges, mangoes apples (with cinnamon sugar – the brown kind) and broccoli too, so I count myself lucky. Oh, and corn too. Does that count as a vegetable?
5. The Treat (entirely optional)
Ok, this bit is optional depending on how much of a health-obsessed Mom you are. But even if you are, you can kinda cheat. As a treat, you could throw in one of those fruit leather things (or fruit roll ups if you’re lazy and feeling indulgent) or some cake or cookies (homemade is better, but a raisin oat variety or wholewheat teddy grahams from the store is ok too).
On Martha Stewart’s site, she drew funny faces on fruit with edible markers or better yet, do as my Mother did when I was little and make faces on top of brown rice using grapes and veg slivers. It got me to eat my complex carbs, and made me the envy of my 1st grade class.
Mary Poppins tidying up the nursery with the kids singing gaily along as everything magically organizes itself may be the stuff of parenting fantasies, but getting the kids seemingly massive collection of toys from warzone to neat can actually be accomplished.
Here are some foolproof tips to follow:
1. Functionality
Create a space that is easy to use and easy to keep clean. Make play space separate from study-space (for older kids) and sleeping/resting areas.
2. Shelves
Consider wall-to-wall shelving. If you’ve been in a pre-school lately you have probably seen these. There’s a good reason. It’s hard to find what you want in a big toy box, so children tend to dig through it and toss or dump everything on the floor making a mess. If the toys are on shelves in plain view, your children will pick up what they want without making a mess elsewhere.
3. Label
Add some colourful labels (pictures are fun too whether they can read or not), and your little ones can put things back where they belong. Make it a matching game.
4. Special Containers For Small Toys, Art Supplies etc.
This just goes for smaller toys, sets (like Thomas’ railroad system, wooden blocks, plastic food bits for play cooking, or Barbie’s extensive wardrobe). And it is well worth it to bite the bullet and spend the extra cash on more child-attractive containers, preferably themed to the toy it will contain. Kids will definitely be more prone to put Polly Pocket’s accessories in a cute pink and purple floral box rather than an old shoebox, no?
In the news: A recent study performed by the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA) found disturbing information claiming that teens who listen to their iPods and MP3 players at volumes relatively louder than adults experience symptoms of hearing loss.
The ASHA notes that it’s not solely MP3 players and iPods that are responsible for these signs of hearing loss. Instead, it’s the combination of length of time and volume at which the teens are listening to music through headphones that is responsible for the damage.
Thankfully, teenagers seem to have some understanding of this. The ASHA’s survey shows that nearly 70 percent of students say that they are “likely” to turn down the volume of music when listening to it through earphones. However, 58 percent said they weren’t likely to cut down on the time they spent listening to music with earphones on. “Louder and longer is definitely not the way to use these products,” says Brenda Lonsbury-Martin, PhD, ASHA’s chief staff officer for science and research.
The National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders (NIDCD) offers three basic rules for limiting the damage done to your children’s ears by listening to iPods and MP3 players:
1. Make sure that he or she can hear normal conversation voices while listening to music through headphones
2. Limit the amount of time he or she spends listening to any type of music through headphones to one hour a day
3. Set the volume of their music player no higher than 60 percent of the maximum
Written by Lara on August 9th, 2006. Comments Off
Filed under News, Safety, Teens.
Remember all those times you’d come home and catch your daughter playing dress up with your clothes? She’d have your blouse on as a dress, wear your pretty pearls and have a whole gunk of make up on. Bet you were either mad or laughed your head off.
That may have been when she was much younger. Now, she no longer wears your clothes because she feels your clothes are too motherly for her taste. She does however periodically borrow your make-up and wear it to school.
It is actually quite normal for girls in their teens to start wearing make up but at what age and how much? Unless your daughter is performing on stage, 15 to 18 is the time when they truly start to experiment with cosmetics. It will be a lot better if instead of scolding her, you help her learn to apply them properly rather than having her use the wrong products. She doesn’t realize it but until they are in their mid twenties, their beautiful skin doesn’t really need make-up.
Teach her the art of making up by making down. A little powder, mascara and lip gloss is often enough to enhance our beauty. All the highest paid fashion models and actresses do not walk around with pounds of cosmetics on their face. They use just enough to highlight their best features and to add just a touch of color to make them look healthy.
In fact, make it a fun time where you and your daughter can make each other up. Then you can give each other a fashion show and have your pictures taken together.
[tags]parenting,teenagers,make up,models[/tags]
You walk into your home after work and get deafened by the loud music blasting from the radio. The walls and the floor are shaking but your son is oblivious. He is absolutely lost in his music, jumping around and pretending to be a rockstar.
You find yourself shaking your head and saying that’s not music. That is noise! It’s just someone shouting and making no sense while others make even more noise with their guitars and drums. Hmmm…remember when our parents used to say that about our favorite music?
Every generation complains of a generation gap, especially in music. Our great-grandparents preferred listening to jazz music or the blues. Our grandparents were listening to Frank Sinatra. Our parents were listening to rock and roll. We listened to metal, wave and R&B. Now the kids listen to hip hop and rap.
Most parents object to the language used by the singers or performers of hip hop and rap. They are such angry music which calls to our teens. It matches the mood of our angst filled kids.
Still, there are other performers popular among the kids that are good and are actually pleasant to listen to. Christina Aguilera, Justin Timberlake, Westlife and many other artists have produced quite a number of songs that are danceable and easy on our ears. There is actually quite a variety available.
Take the time to listen to your kid’s music. You may be surprised to find some that you like and you may just surprise your kids if you sing along to one of their favorite hits. It may even be something that brings you closer together.
[tags]parenting,teenagers,music,hiphop,rock and roll,Christina Aguilera, Justin Timberlanke, Frank Sinatra[/tags]
Written by Lara on July 29th, 2006. Comments Off
Filed under Dads, Moms, Teens, Tips.
Bullies are everywhere. They are not limited to school, they are not limited to a particular age. They exist in all countries all over the world.
Most of the time bullies appear more frequently in the elementary years. There are fewer of them in high school, possibly because their peers have forced most to conform. People, generally do not like bullies. As they grow older and hopefully develop a good sense of what is right, our children will no longer just let bullies harass co-students or themselves.
How do you know if your child is being bullied? The signs may not all be obvious. Most can actually be very subtle. This includes:
- Your child begins to dislike going to school. They will want to avoid the place where they are being bullied, especially if they know that they are not yet capable of averting it from happening.
- Your child becomes moody. If your child is showing sudden signs of wanting to be alone or not wanting to talk with anyone, or even just being less himself you may want to keep an eye on your child and see if anything is going on.
- Your child being hungrier when he comes home from school than before. Unless your child has joined a sport it may be that they aren’t getting any lunch.
- Your child suddenly has no savings. Most kids tend to splurge on candy and hotdogs but they usually do save something for something they really want, like comic books. If your child suddenly has no savings but no additions to his collection, someone may be taking his money from him.
- Your child comes home with bruises, damaged clothes or in poor condition compared to when he left home for school. This would be the most obvious sign and means you really need to steo up and protect your child.
[tags]bully,kids,school,parenting[/tags]
It is never too early or too late to teach your kids an appreciation for the arts. Music a rhythm in everyones blood and everyone has a creative side, Expose them to the arts and help them develop interest and skill.
Where to start? Look for local musical productions that your kids can relate to. Annie is a favorite and so is Oliver Twist. There’s the Sound of Music, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, and the Wiz. Who knows? You may even find your child on stage one of these days.
If you aren’t really into theater, how about getting your kids into Disney. They have one of the widest collections of plays, musicals and movies made for television and wide screen. Their animation series starting with Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Little Mermaid, Hercules and Aladdin, just to name a few, have been entertaining kids (and adults since Walt Disney first decided to push for his dream. The music that went with his films are beautiful and are now classic to the families who watched them.
If your child expresses an interest to learn an instrument, be encouraging. The most practical instruments to learn are piano or guitar – just to get started. The beauty of these two instruments is that your child can play the instrument and still sing (if he is so inclined). He might even be inspired to begin composing his own music.
It works a lot better though if you also have an interest in the arts. Your child wants to be encouraged but not forced. Your enthusiasm will help them develop a love for the arts without them feeling like they are going for a visit to the dentist.
[tags]arts,musicals,plays,Anni,The Wiz,Narnia,The Lion,The Witch and The Wardrobe,Disney,Snow White, Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty,Hercules,Aladdin,Little Mermaid[/tags]
They yell at each other, nag each other, bicker, scream, bully each other and basically go, “Mom, look at what he or she is doing”. It gives you a headache just listening to them. The never ending raised voices between your kids grates on your nerves.
Why do kids fight?
For one, they are competing for what they see as a limited resource: your time, attention and love. As each new child is added to your family, that is yet another person to take your attention away from them. As we all know, there is nothing like knowing our parents actively love us and having 20 minutes of your time if your time if you only have an hour to spend with the family just isn’t enough. This is especially true if there is a new baby in the house. They know that babies need more attention, but they need you too.
Another reason may be that they are trying to establish their own identity. Siblings too close in age tend to have to share too many things, from clothes to friends. It can be both an advantage and a disadvantage. It is very difficult to be an individual when you practically have no personal space.
So, what can be done?
Try not to play favorites and give everyone equal time. Don’t give just one kid a special treat. Make everything a family thing as much as possible.
Recognize their individuality. Praise each for the unique things that they are good at. Be aware of their individual strengths and emphasize the blessing that that uniqueness brings your family.
If possible, find a way so that each child has the necessary space and privacy. Everyone needs that, adult or child. We all need times of peace and quiet and time filled with our brand of noise…erm…music.
[tags]parenting,relationships,sibling rivalry,fighting,personal space,individuality,brothers,sisters[/tags]
