I was browsing the Internet for news today when I saw a compelling headline. It read “Where were the parents? Children accused in deadly beating.” Needless to day, I immediately clicked on the link and proceeded to read the piece of news.
Apparently, five children have been accused of beating an old man to death. Some of the children are as young as 13 years old and the victim was 81 years old. He was viciously beaten to death in an alley at 5 a.m.
Based on the news report that I read, when this incident became public, residents of the area were all asking the same question: “Where were the parents?”
I have mixed reactions to this kind of question. On the one hand, why were the parents immediately to blame? On the other hand, these were children and indeed, their parents should have been responsible for them, especially since they were out of their homes at 5 in the morning. They should have been in bed, sleeping!
This is perhaps an extreme example but just imagine where your children could be and what they could be doing in the wee hours of the morning if you were as lax with them as the parents of these children were. Your kids may not go around beating old men to their deaths but there are so many other things that could happen to them.
I believe in giving children a certain amount of freedom but I do believe that I have to draw the line when it comes to certain times of the day or night. Of course, this example goes much deeper than the children being out at that time. It goes much deeper. When I read such news, I realize once again the very important role that we play in our children’s lives. It still scares me sometimes.
Photo via Ciccio Pizzettaro
I once heard someone say that they wished that there could be a guide book on parenting. We all know that there is no such a thing as hard and fast rules when it comes to being a parent but they can be guideposts along the way. The kind of parenting class that I am talking about is something which goes beyond the preventive stage, though.
I read an article yesterday about a mom who was ordered by the court to take parenting classes. Why? Because she left her kids in the car while she was playing poker. Here is an excerpt of the article:
A Grandville mom who left her kids in the car while she played in a charity poker game will have to pay $450 in fines and take some parenting classes.
Judge Steven Timmers told Diem Thi Tran Thursday that if she paid the fines and met other conditions within six months, her criminal record would show that the charges were dismissed.
Tran was at a charity poker event at Woody’s Press Box, 5656 Clyde Park Ave. SW, on April 23 when an officer said he found her three children asleep in her car around 1:17 a.m. in the parking lot.
The Wyoming Police report stated witnesses claimed the children — ages 5, 10 and 15 — had been in the car for as long as three hours. Tran also was charged with no valid insurance and defective equipment on the car.
I don’t mean to be judgmental here, but I just cannot imagine any self-respecting parent to leave their children in the car for any reason! Will parenting classes help this mother? Perhaps. Or maybe they should also take a look into her habits – gambling being one of them.
About a year ago, I posted an incident that happened to my daughter at the mall. She was wearing her pink crocs when it got caught in the escalator. After reading other incidents similar to ours, I thought for sure that the company behind crocs would have done something about it. Now, a year later, I am dismayed to read about another similar incident. This was brought to my attention by a reader, Michael. (Thanks!)
Here’s an excerpt of the article that was published on CBS4:
A child’s Crocs shoe was sucked up into an escalator at a Denver area shopping mall Wednesday afternoon. The 4-year old was not hurt, but his shoes are a little worse for wear and he was shaken up a bit.
It happened as Blake Schalk was riding down the escalator near Macy’s at Flatiron Crossing in Broomfield with his aunt and uncle, according to his family. Blake told them his shoe was getting tighter. That’s when they noticed the escalator chewing up the Crocs shoe.
Blake’s dad, Matt Schalk, told CBS4 “It was on the side of the escalator, between the wall and the escalator, not the top or the bottom.”
Blake’s aunt pulled him to safety. That’s when the escalator shut down. It was closed for 2 hours for repairs.
WOW – I just cannot imagine shoes being chewed up by “the side of the escalator.” It seems to me that aside from its aesthetics, there REALLY is something wrong with crocs!!!
There seemed to be a time when a woman was expected to give up her job the moment she got married and/or she gave birth. The norm back in the day was for the woman to stay at home. In the past decades, however, more and more women have started to get careers of their own – some even surpassing their husbands in this area.
This was considered by many feminist groups as a victory for their side. The woman has been empowered and has shown that she can have a successful (career) life of her own and have a family as well.
An article that I read on ABC raises some questions, however. The premise of the article is that with women who are successful in their chosen career paths, the trend is for them to put off marriage or having children. The article states:
A new study from Washington & Lee University shows professional women are walking away from motherhood and marriage — more than the general population.
Law professor Robin Wilson’s research makes up a chapter in a new book called “Rethinking Business Management.”
She says, while four-fifths of senior male lawyers have children, only two-thirds of senior women do, and there is a similar break from marriage.
She looked at more than 100,000 people with at least a college degree, and found that women lawyers, doctors and MBA’s are opting out of marriage at a higher rate than their male counterparts. When they do marry, women professionals have a harder time making it last.
Numbers don’t lie. But the results of the study do not have to be true for all cases. I believe that a woman can be a successful career woman and a good wife and mother all at the same time, don’t you?
Reuters reports that “Nearly a third of U.S. parents know surprisingly little about typical infant development, and this lack of understanding can rob their babies of much-needed mental stimulation, researchers said on Sunday.”
What an alarming statement! Parents are the first teachers of their children and if they do not have a good understanding of what babies need, then the babies will be on the losing side. It is true that there are no clear cut rules as to what a parent must do. Indeed, many say that there is really no way to ensure that you will be a good parent. It is something that comes with experience.
So how did the researchers come to the conclusion that a considerable number of American parents do not know enough about babies? Dr. Heather Paradis of the University of Rochester Medical Center in New York shares:
There are numerous parenting books telling people what to expect when they’re pregnant but once a baby is born, an astonishing number of parents are not only unsure of what to anticipate as their child develops, but are also uncertain of when, how or how much they are to help their babies reach various milestones, such as talking, grabbing, discerning right from wrong, or even potty-training.
The study she conducted covered more than 10,000 parents with 9-month-old babies and asked questions such as:
-Should a 1-year-old child be able to tell between right from wrong?
-Should a 1-year-old child be ready to begin toilet-training?
The passing score is 5 out of 11. Those who got 4 and below are considered to have a lack of understanding of parenting with regard to babies.
Maybe we should all see a copy of the questionnaire and answer them ourselves.
I got an e-mail the other day from Vanessa Van Petten of Teens Today With Vanessa Van Petten. As I was reading the e-mail, I felt like a little kid – I wanted to clap my hands together and do a bit of a jump while I was at it. (Ok, fine, I did clap my hands once.) Here is what she had to say:
I just wanted to write and let you know that your blog has been submitted to my
contest for the “Best Mom Blog!”
Hooray! I actually have already been reading your blog and love it, and have been RSSing for a few months so I am happy to add you to the list.
I wanted you to be aware that (I hope) you will be getting some more traffic from my site as I post the Top 50. I am actually 22 and write a parenting blog from the kids perspective to keep things exciting as a sort of expose on our generation of teens.
Hooray, indeed! I am glad that there are teens like Vanessa and that she sees the value in good parenting and communication between parents and children! Now let’s cross our fingers and hope that we win this one. Even if we don’t, the nomination is reason enough to celebrate, don’t you think?
I have always believed that mental skills depend both on genetics and parenting. A recent article published on CBS News provides proof for the latter. It talks about a study conducted at the University of Oregon which focused on poor families. Here’s an excerpt from the news article:
They looked at measures of thinking skills in young children before and after parents had special counseling.
One of the researchers, Courtney Stevens, PhD, presented early results from the study today at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science in Boston.
Fourteen children aged 3-5 were tested on language ability and attention, and they had brain scans before their parents began the counseling. Another 14 children had the same tests, but their parents did not receive any special counseling.
The findings of the study?
Jeanne Brooks-Gunn, PhD, co-director of the Institute for Child and Family Policy at Columbia University in New York City, says the most helpful ways to even the odds for poor kids are preschool education and efforts to improve parenting practices. She says the policy institute she leads has “very specific recommendations on parenting practices,” which agree with what the Oregon researchers taught.
Though many of us probably know the importance of good parenting with regard to our children’s mental skills, it is still assuring to hear of scientific findings such as this one. I guess we don’t need any more motivation to practice good parenting, huh? What do you think?
There is no doubt about it, Hannah Montana is one of the most popular teen stars today. I personally do not follow her much but I am sure that many children and teens do so. One of our readers pointed out an episode wherein Hannah Montana and her dad rode a Range Rover without wearing seatbelts. It may seem inane but being the role model that she is, it would have been good to see them setting a good example.
I suppose it is not her fault – after all, producers and directors were behind the scene. However, children may think that just because she was not wearing a seatbelt, they should not wear one too. Should we really care? According to Consumer Reports:
Because, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, in about 55 percent of passenger vehicle fatalities in 2006 (the latest data available), the occupants were not wearing seat belts. Even worse, in the 13- to 15-year-old age group, that percentage climbs to 65 percent. Unfortunately, we’re not surprised by these grim statistics because a 2002 survey by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety showed that when parents were dropping teens off at school in the morning, nearly half the teens weren’t using seat belts.
This information is enough to justify our concern, I think. Still, Billy Ray Cyrus, who plays Hannah Montana’s dad has admitted to the oversight. No big deal, I should say.
One of my best friends and fellow mom sent a link to an article the other day with a message that read: “I’d ship Max to Iraq if she turned out like this…” referring to her angelic 1-year-old, who also happens to be my Godchild.
The article was disturbing indeed, and after reading it, I heartily agreed that if my 5-year-old N turned out that way too, she’d be joining Maxine for Iraqui bootcamp asap. Having said that though, much as this misguided teenager seems like a Veruca Salt from designer hell, one can’t help but blame her parents for creating this monster in Dior.
Anyway, it was a feature from the lifestyle pages of a newspaper about “Tara” the daughter of a socialite. Addicted to shopping and designer labels, she sounded more like Posh Spice rather than a 17 year old kid in high school. It was utterly hideous. Here’s some of the interview for your cringing pleasure:
Where and how often do you shop?
I shop like hell after a painful break-up. Does that explain a lot? (laughs) Or whenever I feel the need for a lift. No, I do not shop every single day! Its more like once a week.
What are your favorites?
My blue jean 35-cm. Hermes Kelly purchased from Hermes at The Peninsula Hotel, Hong Kong. Apart from the fact that I didn’t get waitlisted for it, it holds a lot of sentimental value for me. I clearly remember finding the bag with someone special to me at the time. As for shoes, my favorite would have to be my black Manolo Blahnik pumps. They go with absolutely anything. And how could I forget my Louis Vuitton limited edition monogram cerise Speedy?! It served me really well.
What was your first designer purse?
I honestly don’t know. All I remember is being raised in Baby Dior so it could’ve been Dior or maybe Ferragamo (a favorite of my mom’s when I was younger). The first designer bag I actually remember getting was the Louis Vuitton monogram canvas pochette from my dad. I think it was a gift for my ninth or 10th birthday and I didn’t think much of it at the time (Vuittons weren’t as expensive then).
Largest amount of money you spent in one go? Did you regret it?
I haven’t any idea. I’m just sure that I didn’t regret it.
How do your parents feel about your shopping habits?
I’d imagine that they aren’t very happy about it. What sane person would be?
What bag are you currently drooling over?
I’ve always wanted an Hermes Birkin in whatever leather, 40-cm in lime green or fuchsia pink. I do plan to get one but not at the moment. You see, I havent been a very good girl lately
Do you attend sales?
Sure! Sales are great actually but then I do feel bad sometimes when high-end designer brands go on sale. The reason my mother and I love Vuitton so much is because they never have sales so you never get the painful feeling of being cheated (for lack of a better word). For example, I buy a bag today and see someone else carrying the exact same bag next week boasting about how he/she got it for a mere fraction of the original price. Ouch!
A couple of weeks ago we had a terrible scare. While on a lazy trip to the mall, my 5 year-old’s foot got caught in the escalator, very nearly severing her toes, or worse, foot. Thank goodness though, she was all right and we got away with a nasty fright, feet a little scratched but unharmed.
She was wearing her pink crocs, those rubber gardening shoes which have taken kids (and parents) footware fashion by storm.
It happened just as we were getting down to the lower floor. N suddenly screamed, and as I grabbed her, the back strap of the shoe was gobbled up mercilessly by the escalator. If the croc had been tightly fit (luckily it was loose, so it slipped off), her (gulp) foot could have been swallowed up as well.
N was shaken, and people behind us tried in vain to help, pulling the shoe out of the machine, but it was jammed, slowly getting crushed, every pink bit of it. N was so brave, seemingly more upset that her foot was now naked.
My sister, who was with us, stayed with the guards who were now filing a report, taking photos and such while N and I went in search of new shoes. My husband was furious when I told him what happened, he felt it was mall’s fault, using a faulty escalator. I agreed with him, until I found out that this incident with crocs on escalators has been happening all over the world. Read on and be wary of those shoes!!!
Dead Croc in Rustan’s:
Singapore Child Loses Toe:
http://sg.news.yahoo.com/061109/3/44ngj.html
Crocs + Escalators= Danger:
http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/story?section=bizarre&id=4630653
