Organized Mom
I have never been one of those people you’d call “super” organized. But after having my third child early this year, I’ve found that one of the best ways to keep my sanity, and for things to run (relatively) smoothly in my growing household is to try and be as organized as I possibly can. That’s always been a rather daunting word in my vocabulary as no matter how hard I try, there is always some amount of chaos in my home.
But with the “busiest” time of the year upon us, and indeed, a New Year a mere month or so away, its a good time to start, and for somewhat disorganized Moms like myself, the first thing I would do is to create a Weekly Schedule and Menu. I promise, its worked wonders for me! Here’s how:
Tip 1 For the Disorganized: The Weekly Schedule
1. Every Sunday, I set aside about half an hour to make our weekly schedule and menu. I take a cookbook or two and sit with my laptop for about half an hour at a time when the kids are busy (a dvd is a good idea) or better, napping.
2. For simplicity sake, I make a chart like above (sorry I haven’t been able to scan mine!) section off each day onto 3 sections. Morning, afternoon, evening. Each day having its own column.
3. First, I put in the family activities for the week. For example:
Monday- Morning -Oliver has no class/ Cat grooming at vet 11 a.m.
Afternoon – Boys playgroup @ home 3 pm./ Nat, gymnastics 4.30
Evening- Mark (hubby), meeting, home late
4. Then, with my cookbooks (or online), I look for meal ideas for the week and type them in the appropriate time. With the activities of the family already there, I know who’ll be around for what meal (and snacks), and best of all, I can make the weekly grocery list, knowing exactly what I need, which helps keep me in budget. I also look at previous weeks menus (kept neatly in my desktop file), to see what worked well and what didn’t.
5. Edit, print and stick it on the fridge. And voila! The family is set for a week of organized bliss.
Photo via Lullaby Mom
Most first time parents due to inexperience, panic in the face of medical emergencies. Me and my wife for example have two totally different approaches to emergencies such as the frequent bumps and scratches that sends your child running to you so learning to recognize something serious is the key and experience would educate you best. My wife gets into a panicked state every time she sees blood accompanied by the uncontrollable cries of our child, I merely step back, take a look at the situation and analyze the situation if it needs medical attention or if first aid can do the trick. For example, an open wound and compound fracture is always serious so speed to the hospital for care. High fever during teething is normal and can be handled with analgesics while being in constant contact with your pediatrician who would tell you to get help if needed.
Having experienced medical emergencies as a volunteer which developed my abilities to recognize life-threatening and trivial injuries, just hope more people would recognize this as a vital skill to have for it helps you lower your insurance premiums. Do some research on the web for health tips that can add to your knowledge of which emergencies to treat seriously and which are mere casual. Information and knowledge is the key, the more trips you take to the ER, the more a risk you are for the insurance firm so they have the option to ask more for insurance.
Are you a good listener? I actually find it amusing that I got the idea for this post from one of those online quizzes in a social networking site. I like taking those quizzes when I am passing away time. They may not be as accurate as they can be but they are fun and sometimes, provides valuable insight – like this one. As I was reading my results (I am supposedly a good listener although I don’t always come across as one), I could not help by relate the topic to being a parent.
As Munashe shares in his blog, the art of listening is perhaps one of the most important – if not THE most important – things that a parent should develop. What does the art of listening entail?
I believe that it is more than sitting there and hearing the things that your child has to say. It is not a passive activity but an interactive one. You actively listen by understanding what your child is saying and contributing something to the conversation. More so, listening entails understanding that maybe, at times, your child just wants to be heard and does not really need to be told what to do.
I think that is one problem that arises when children share things with their parents – we sometimes automatically think that we need to provide a solution to whatever they are presenting. Have you ever thought that maybe your child just wants to rant and let off steam and be heard? I sure know that I feel that way a lot of times.
So do you take the time out to really listen to your child? How do you listen?
I’m not exactly sure why (hormones, fatigue, aches and pains?), but every time I am pregnant I become very angry. Not all day, and thankfully not at my husband or kids (well, not all of the time), but lets just say I have a short fuse and if anyone makes my day more difficult, woe betide them. With #4 on the way, and the other 3 under age 9, I have a lot going on. So for instance, when a sales clerk (who obviously would rather be texting her boyfriend) can’t be bothered to look for something I just know they have, or a rude lady cuts the line at the grocery checkout or the bank ….my swollen feet stamp on the ground and I see red. I know, these are all small things, but when I’m pregnant, they really don’t seem small at all.
A good friend of mine, K, who recently gave birth to her #3, fired 2 of her staff when she was pregnant. She also admitted to being an angry pregnant woman, and I vividly remember her getting ticked off with someone at the mall practically every time we went shopping together. It was pretty scary because these people are totally defenseless against a heavily pregnant woman. Now that K is back to her sweet old self, I’ve become the dragon lady, in my 4th fire-breathing incarnation. The poor husbands who have to live with this Mrs.Hyde syndrome have to get some sympathy. On our last family holiday, I fumed at our travel agent (who failed to book 3 child meals after I reminded her twice), the hotel receptionist and flight attendant to name a few. By the end of the trip (remind me again WHY its a good idea to travel in your 2nd trim?), hubby said I had to relax and try not to work myself up into a fury every time things don’t go well.
And he’s right. After a bit of web digging, I found that there are prenatal anger effects on the fetus and neonate. One study showed that one hundred and sixty-six women were classified as experiencing high or low anger during the second trimester of pregnancy, and the babies of Moms who showed the high anger were prone to bad sleeping patterns and so on. Whether or not that’s true, I don’t know. What I do know is that I’ve been angry with all of my pregnancies, and all of my kids happy and healthy – equally different in good ways and bad.
It doesn’t hurt though to curb that anger, which can’t be a good thing pregnant or not. Parenting mag gives some sound advice:
If you find you’re frequently furious, try:
* Walking away. Avoid discussions that’ll only make your blood boil — tell the offending party that you’re feeling sensitive and you would rather not talk about the issue. Then give yourself a half-hour and take a stroll, whether it’s around the office or around the block.
* Staying active. Swimming, tennis, walking, gardening — many types of regular exercise can keep your hostility barometer in check while helping to relieve physical discomforts.
* Writing it out. It can be very cathartic to vent on paper — through journal entries, poems, or outrageously nasty letters that you never mail.
* Taking a mental health break. Whether it’s a day off work or a two-hour escape from the kids, pamper yourself: Get a facial, see a movie, buy a pair of shoes.
* Seeking professional help. If you find your anger is making it hard to function, consider talking to a therapist.
Photo via Floyd Brown
Ever noticed how kids will keep pestering you just when you are intent on doing something. The more engrossed you are, the more they will bug you. You just want an hour to enjoy your game and they want to play it for you. It can be annoying!
Truth is they just want to be part of what you’re doing. If you are having fun, they want to have fun with you. If you enjoy cooking, they will try and enjoy it too. They love helping you decorate for christmas. They’ll even try to help wrap presents.
Of course there are times that you have to say no but before you tell them they can’t why not check if there is someway they can take part. For example, you’re busy in the kitchen getting dinner ready and you don’t really want them around your knives. How about just having them peel the veggies or wash the potatoes.
If you’re painting, why not give your kid a paintbrush too and assign him his own corner to color? He may not do as big a space as you and his corner may not be as even but that is easily taken care of.
Do you love word games, the crosswords maybe? Get a book of word puzzles that the two of you can do together. Invite him to bring his puzzles to where you sit and you can sit companionably together as you each solve your games.
These may seem like small things for them to do but the effect on them is huge. Kids love to “help out”. Let them and watch as they amaze you with what they can do.
Photo via Dynamoash
In Gilmore Girls, Lorelai and Rory seem to get along pretty well except for the later seasons. Lorelai had Rory when she was still a teenager so maybe that is why they get along pretty well. Their age gap is not so huge compared to other mother-daughter tandems. They even go out shopping together and borrow each others’ clothes. They talk about their relationships. They joke around like friends.
If you think that this is only possible on TV and only for moms who are not too old for their teenage daughters, think again. There are ways after all.
Start them young.
If your children would know you as someone they could trust and easily talk with, that will make them feel this more consistently. That is why it is good. However, the dilemma is that they might be too clingy later on.
Treat them as adults.
This is especially when they are already teenagers. If they know that you are trying to see them as adults, they would feel better about themselves. As if you are equals, in a way. At least when it comes to deciding on certain things for their own. Especially when it comes to dating. This way, you might even have the chance for some heart-to-heart talks.
Have fun with them.
It is true that you have to be serious with them, especially when it comes to discussing matters. But do things together like shopping, going to the salon or the spa. If your daughter likes sports like soccer or basketball, talk about the athletes and maybe even try playing it. Do not hesitate in having fun with her.
The Gilmore girls are probably not the conventional mother-daughter set up but you sure could learn much from their relationship. We are all humans and this is one thing that the daughters should see in their mothers. If you are too strict and stoic, how could they relate with you after all?
Photo via Summers
Some times our kid’s need a little helping hand in remembering what we ask them to do. If you are a parent of a child who is old enough to start helping out around the house…You will know what I mean.
Some children just do not comprehend and know how to complete tasks from start to finish. So they ask mom or dad over and over how to do whatever it is they are attempting to do.
I thought I would take a moment and list a few things that might be great to put on a child’s list of To Do’s and To Not Do’s. Making a list and posting it in words your child can read will not only help you save all the questions. It will also help you to encourage your child to read.
Toddlers Ages 3 to 5
1. Pick up your toys.
2. Put your toys where they belong.
3. Put your dirty clothes in the hamper.
4. When you are done playing put your things
away.
Kindergartners Ages 5 to 6
1. Pick up your things in your room.
2. Put everything where it should go.
3. Put your dirty clothes in the hamper.
4. Set out your clothes for the next morning.
5. Try and make your bed.
6. Help set the table.
Children Ages 6 to 10
1. Clean your room.
2. Make your bed.
3. Put toys away and other play items.
4. Put dirty clothes in the hamper
5. Help fold and put clean clothes away.
6. Help set the table.
7. Learn to pick up around the front room.
8. Learn to vacuum.
9. Learn to dust and clean surfaces in bathroom.
Children Ages 10 to 12
1. Clean your room.
2. Make your bed.
3. Put belongings away after play or use.
4. Put dirty clothes in hamper.
5. Help fold and put clean clothes away.
6. Set the table and wash dishes.
7. Learn to clean and vacuum front room.
8. Clean the bathroom.
9. Take care of personal belongings.
10. Put your bike away or any outside items.
11. Feed and take care of a pet.
12. Take out the trash.
13. Help around the house.
14. Be willing to learn new things.
Teenagers 13 and up
1. Do all of the above listed things.
2. Help mow the lawn and pick up around the yard.
3. Do extra chores for added allowances.
4. Baby sit as you grow more responsible.
5. Clean the house.
6. Learn to cook a little.
7. Learn to do laundry.
8. Learn the value of money.
9. Do some volunteer work.
Now Don’ts For All Ages.
1. Do not break house rules.
2. Do not talk to strangers.
3. Do not go any place alone or without
your parents permission.
4. Do not disrespect other people.
5. Do not talk back to teachers, parents or
people with authority.
6. Do not leave your bike or belongings in
places they do not belong.
7. Do not go places by your self.
8. Do not leave your mess for others to clean up.
9. Do not hit, kick or bite.
10. Follow all of your parents DO NOT Rules.
I am sure you get the basic idea of what you want your child to do and to not do. Just make up a list and post it on the door. You may want to add a how to clean your room list. It is always helpful to use simple words that the kids understand and can relate too. You may want to show them where the dirty clothes go.
Just a few ideas to help make life a little easier and more pleasant on the home front.
Photo via Chromatic
The other day my husband and I went to the first PTC meeting with our daughter’s teacher, Ms. A. Report cards had just come out and I was eager to see how N had fared in the first term of first grade. It was a big adjustment for her as her preschool was tiny (8 kids on her class!), and her new “big school” was huge (almost 1,000 kids up to grade 12!). I knew that she was happy there, but as any parent knows, the way your kid is at home and at school can be two very different things.
Well, Ms. A told us that N was an enthusiastic learner, did well in all her subjects, especially p.e, art, computer and music. She then also said N was not really a “self starter” and needed some time (i.e. would play, draw or get distracted) before she could sit down and complete a task. In maths, she was very good with numbers, but often got confused with “problem solving” work. In reading, she had also improved vastly (she could hardly reading at the end of Kindergarten), but tended to rush through reading, using context clues to guess the words rather than going through them slowly.
Of course, I also had other questions- like the grading system, which was new to me, ranging from 4-1 (4 being the highest, and meant to be “super, super” not given lightly) and I was used to the old-fashioned ABC’s or 95, 85, 75 etc. N mostly got 3′s, a few 2′s, and two 4′s, but I can’t help but feel that she could have done better – that I could have done more to help her.
I think its up to us as parents to really know and understand our kids learning styles (again, think of the Animal School) as it could really help them not just in their school years, but for the rest of their lives.
Photo via AJC1
Practically every blog or news web site that you visit today will send across one message: Happy Mother’s Day! I will not go against it – because I believe that this day should be taken seriously and that we should honor mothers (including ourselves) with the utmost respect. However, I will also not go with the flow – I will not write a post about my musings on the significance of Mother’s Day.
Instead, I will write a list. You know, one of those things that we mothers seem to always have around. We have grocery shopping lists, to do lists for the children, to do lists for the house, and so on and so forth. The kind of list that I have in mind right now is quite different, though, and it’s geared towards moms. So, mommies out there, read up!
Let’s say you were given one day (or a week) to take a break from everything that you do daily. You do not have to worry about the kids – they will be taken care of excellently. You do not have to worry about your husband – somehow, he’ll be okay. You do not have to worry about your job – you are to be given time off (paid!). What would you want to do?
While this would probably not be happening to me anytime soon, I thought it would be a fun exercise in day dreaming. Here’s my list.
1. Go to a beach resort with modern enough facilities but without too many people around.
I’d want to spend at least a day just enjoying the sun, the sand, and the sea. I would want to spend it alone with a good book and drink some refreshing drinks while enjoying the warmth of the sun. I would want to end the day with a soothing massage and go to bed totally relaxed.
2. Attend a cooking class.
I’d want to learn new things. Some programs are offered for a single day – even less – and there are programs (such as those offered in Thailand and Vietnam) for a week. I would love to learn the real deal in terms of cuisine from these countries.
3. Spend the whole day in the spa.
Get a massage that lasts for hours, use the sauna, get a foot spa, have a manicure/pedicure – the list can go on and on. While some people take the spa for granted, full time moms (not to mention working moms) rarely have this opportunity.
Now, why don’t you tell me what’s on your list?
Hold your horses, not too fast and no violence involved. Many people are pissed at the way things are handled in court, much so that convicted killers, scammers and everybody in between go unpunished because of the legalities involved. Now let me ask you this, do you want to take them on with the backing of the law that so protects them, and gain the same protection for your and your family? Have you ever considered taking online law degrees with the many colleges offering them today, it’s easy as pie and you can do it while keeping your job during the day. many major colleges are now offering online law courses for those who want career advancement. For us, it would be the pure pleasure of learning hoe these criminals get away with the things they do.
Many of us are just plain tired and say that let them do the job for you, but most of the times, you’re not contented with the way they handle things. The law is a very tedious and tender matter that anybody without insight can easily get swallowed by the many such technicalities that are part of these laws. They are however the foundation of our society so whatever is within these laws makes modern life possible. Get down and dirty and get involved by getting yourself knowledgeable in the law that has failed you so much. Get involved and turn the law onto your side and keep the guilty ones out of the streets making them safer for our families, friends and everybody else.
