Goodness, I can go on and on about this topic – but don’t worry, I won’t. I just thought I’d pick up on one of the points in the previous point - Letter A of the ABCs of Parenting. A reader of ours also made a comment that she really has to work on this point and I realized that I do too!

I think this is one of my problems – I need to be in control of everything. It is in my nature. Somehow, even if it is not shown overtly, I want to control my husband, my kids, my job, and my life. If something is even not remotely under my control, I don’t feel right. Maybe that is why there are a lot of times that I feel as if the weight of the world is on my shoulders!

I’ve learned a lot about letting go in the past year, however. It may be passé, but the Serenity Prayer really helped me. I am sure many of you know it by heart but let me share a snippet just the same:

As parents, we find out that there are SO MANY things that we cannot change. It is the accepting the fact that can present quite a challenge. Still, it is comforting to know that we are not alone in our experiences, isn’t it?

Being a parent is a tough job – I am sure most of you will agree with me on that. It does have its wonderful moments that cannot be replaced by anything else but the fact remains that there are days which are going to try the most patient person. There are days when the stress will seem to be too much too bear. I ran across a post from Dr. Robyn J.A. Silverman which presents the ABCs of parenting. Now I would be the last person to simplify things to match the alphabet, to be honest – parenting is so much more than ABC – but I really found this list helpful. Allow me to share some of the letters of the alphabet and how they can help parents take on the challenges of their lives.

A- Accept the things you can not change: Single parenting? Step parenting? ADHD parenting? Just dealing with time crunches, making lunches, bunches and bunches of bills? It’s important to recognize that there are some things you can not control, surrender, move on.

B- Breathe: When things get hairy, scary, and you feel like you can barely hold on, take a step back, breathe, and be calm.

C- Count your blessings. Even though you have the weight of the world on you right now and feel far from compassionate for others who have things much worse than you do, there is some value in taking a moment to look at the things that are going right today, such as your child’s tantrum-free morning or how your spouse took out the trash…

All these three things, I find difficult, especially when faced with seemingly insurmountable things. Yet, I realize that they can indeed help me become more efficient and loving at the same time. I hope you see things the same way as well.

I think that is every expecting mother’s wish to have a beautiful healthy baby. From the time that a woman finds out that she is pregnant up to the time that she delivers her child, I know that her prayer every night is to have a perfectly healthy child. Yet there are times when our wishes are not granted in the exact manner that we ask them to be.

As that famous line in the movie Forrest Gump goes, “life is a box of chocolates, you never know what you will get next.” Some mothers get their wish and have perfectly healthy babies. Others, they get something else, something that I would say is perhaps even more special, for God has granted them a baby with something more.

Lori Borgman says it better than I do in her work “Some Mothers Get Babies With Something More.” You can read the whole thing in the blog Special Child. This really touched my heart as, even if I am not a mother who got something more, my nephew is special – in more ways than one. I never really though that we would have to deal with this but God has presented us with a special gift and our family has grown together as a result. That is why I thought of writing a series on special children, in the hopes that as I share our experiences, other families will become encouraged and inspired.

So for mothers who got something more, here is a tribute to you.

The best way to get good tips and tricks on how to properly balance parenthood and personal life is to learn and read it from the people who know. Such can be found from sites that have used the services offered by organizations as the Los Angeles SEO when it comes to affordable search engine optimization and many have been directed towards their way.

For sure, parents are looking for advanced practices on how to become better parents. Moods and the things they do at home are not enough. There are varying techniques in the world of parenting today and people just have to be more open to them. Books may be of help but with the way technology has been spread today, the web is where updated facts and resources are at.

Be assured that there are a lot of ideas over the web today for better parenting practices. They are just waiting to be found!

Much as I enjoy my blogging, I have to admit that sometimes it gets tiresome to see my own thoughts on this blog every single day. Which is the reason why I like to spare myself (and whoever else reads this) of me-itis ramblings by posting little bits and bobs, such as the previous post, and this one below.

It wasnt written by me, but its so utterly familiar in my life as a parent, that I feel I could have written it too. Well, some of it at least.

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you’ve had a baby … somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a mother, “normal” is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct, somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring … somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver’s permit.

Somebody said if you’re a “good” mother, your child will “turn out good”… somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said “good” mothers never raise their voices …somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the
neighbor’s kitchen window.

Somebody said you don’t need an education to be a mother…. somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.

Somebody said you can’t love the second child as much as you love the first … somebody doesn’t have two children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books….somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery….somebody never watched her “baby” get on the bus for the first day of
kindergarten or on a plane headed for military “boot camp.”

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back….somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies
to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married….somebody doesn’t know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother’s heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother’s job is done when her last child leaves home….somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don’t need to tell her…. somebody isn’t a mother.

Heres another tear-jerker I had to share. It was sent to me by another Mother, but I think that anyone, whether they have children or not, will be touched by this simple story of a Mother’s love.

After 21 years of marriage, My wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said, “I love you, but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you.”

The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who had been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had
made it impossible to visit her regularly, only occasionally.

That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie.

“What’s wrong, are you well?,” she asked?

My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news.

“I thought that it would be pleasant to spend some time with you,” I responded. “Just the two of us.”

She thought about it for a moment, and then said, “I would like that very much.”

That Friday after work, as I drove over to pick her up I was a bit nervous. When I arrived at her house, I noticed that she, too, seemed to be nervous about our date.

She waited in the door with her coat on. She had curled her hair and was wearing the dress that she had worn to celebrate her last wedding anniversary.

She smiled from a face that was as radiant as an angel’s.

“I told my friends that I was going to go out with my son, and they were impressed,” she said, as she got into the car.

“They can’t wait to hear about our dinner.”

We went to a restaurant that, although not elegant, was very nice and cozy. My mother took my arm as if she were the First Lady.

After we sat down, I had to read the menu. Her eyes could only read large print. Half way through the entre�s, I lifted my eyes and saw Mom sitting there
staring at me. A nostalgic smile was on her lips.

“It was I who used to have to read the menu when you were small,” she said.

“Then it’s time that you relax and let me return the favor,” I responded.

During the dinner, we had an agreeable conversation, nothing extraordinary but catching up on recent events of each other’s life. We talked so much that we missed the movie.

As we arrived at her house later, she said, “I’ll go out with you again, but only if you let me invite you.” I agreed.

” How was your dinner date?” asked my wife when I got home.

“Very nice. Much more so than I could have imagined,” I answered.

A few days later, my mother died of a massive heart attack. It happened so suddenly that I didn’t have a chance to do anything for her.

Some time later, I received an envelope with a copy of a restaurant receipt from the same place mother and I had dined.

An attached note said: “I paid this bill in advance. I wasn’t sure that I could be there; but nevertheless, I paid for two plates - one for you and the other for your wife. You will never know what that night meant for me. I love you, son.”

At that moment, I understood the importance of saying in time: “I LOVE YOU” and to give our loved ones the time that they deserve. Nothing in life is
more important than your family. Give them the time they deserve, because these things cannot be put off till “some other time”.

For the invitations, I pulled out my inner-Martha and made “message in a bottle” invitations. It involved a couple of nights work (those short precious hours between the time when the children have gone to bed and tired Mothers cant keep their eyes open for one minute longer), a printer, left-over coffee, tea, and my trusty stove’s gas burner. Throw in some sand and old shells lying around the house (from the last beach holiday), a bit of string, glass mineral water bottles, and hey, presto!

As luck would have it, both mine and my husband’s printer were acting extremely temperamental (and headed for the junk yard), so I went ovet to my sister’s house, parchment in hand. We found the perfect font, and in a few minutes, cooked up the wording:

Ahoy Matey!
Captain Natasha will be in harbour
On February 11th, 2007
at three o’clock in the afternoon
in search of a motley crew
and will navigate her way to
The Pooldeck (of our apartment building)
to meet suitable recruits
for a swashbuckling adventure bash!!

No liver-belly cowards or landlubbers need attend.

Now soak in coffee, burn the edges, tie and stuff in the bottle, seashells and sand. Easy and fun. And expect to get lots of compliments from the parents!! Oh, and I also put the bottle in a brown paper bag, with a “jolly roger” drawn on with a felt tipped pen. Those skulls get easier to draw once you’ve done them at least 10 times.

[tags]invitation, message in a bottle, pirate, birthday[/tags]

All is finally back to normal here at home. The kids are healthy, Daddy is back from his trip, and Mom is back to pirate mode. One of my major coups this week has been finding the perfect birthday cakes, and thanks to my internet-research-savvy sister, she found me a girl who makes the most fabulous birthday cakes and pretty decent prices.

I love to bake, but in all honesty, one of those fancy “themed” or shaped cakes are totally beyond me. I’ll just leave that to the experts, thank you very much. So when I found this girl called Erika, (a pastry chef in her twenties, baking from home) who could pull off not just the cakes, but matching cupcakes and cookie lollipops in pirate theme, I was thrilled. She sent me a few sketches for approval, and asked for any other input I may have to make the day as special as she could for the kids.

A few more sketches and emails later, we were set! The pirate cake is actually going to be a huge treasure chest, with booty richly overflowing out. But thats not all. Places on a cake board decorated like a desert island beach, she is going to make an edible replica of the treasure map I drew for the party! Add to that some mini-moulded pirate candles we bought to place around the map (5, of course), and we’re set. Exciting stuff aaargh!

[tags]pirate, pirate birthday, pirate cake[/tags]

With Christmas, New Year’s and The Three Kings come and gone, most parents are sighing with relief that the frenzy of decorating, shopping, cooking, organizing and so on is officially over. NOT at our household. Why? Because in a couple of weeks time, I’ll have to be sending out the invites for BOTH by kids’ birthdays, which means more shopping, more cooking and a lot of organizing. Sigh.

My two childrens’ birthdays are one day apart. It could have been on the same day (owing to a scheduled c-section for baby # 2), but due to a mass consensus by friends and family around the globe, we decided that having their own special days would probably be what they would want later on. Two years later, I can’t help but wonder if we made the right decision. Surely a “same birthday” would mean one day of festivities (okay, two if it falls on a weekday and so theres the actual one plus the party?) rather than the double/quad celebrations I will face for the next 20 years (or more?).

Not that I’m complaining. If you’ve been reading my blog, you’ll be able to tell by now that I’m the kind of Mom who just thrives on creating happy (indulgent?) childhood memories. Unbirthday parties, crafts and baking, and frequent special “mommy day” at the mall complete with a toy, ice cream and a ride on the carousel. So, a party (or two) with all the trimmings is indeed de rigeur in my household.

In my 5 years as a parent, I’ve learnt the ins and outs of birthday planning the hard way, which includes various mistakes like a too-hard treasure hunt (where the kids couldnt find one dang clue) and inviting too many big kids (when the Barney mascot got mauled at my daughter’s 2nd) to name but a few. Last year’s bash, where my daughter turned 4 and my son 1, was a Powerpuff/Rowdyruff swimming party complete with puppet show and PPG mascot (who thankfully did not get mauled but did a very weird dance that made me nervous). It was nowhere as insane as my daughter’s 2nd (the one with the over-8’s), but it was still pretty crazy. And even if they shared the “big party” (not easy to do theme-wise with a girl and a boy, mind you), we still had to do 2 other ” actual day” celebratory planning. This year, I hope to put some of what I’ve learnt to good use and stay small and simple.

So on that note, and those two uber-special days in February drawing near, let me welcome you to The Land Of Birthdays here at the Parenting Blog!! (if you hate birthdays, please stay away from this blog because this WILL be my obsession for the next few weeks).

[tags]Birthdays, kids parties[/tags]

This is something I just got in my email, which I had to share with you all. Read it and get a new perspective on the new millenium’s parenting - which suddenly doesnt seem so great after all.

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930’s 40’s, 50’s, 60’s and 70’s !!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn’t get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention the risks we took hitchhiking.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren’t overweight because WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING !

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day and we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD’s, no surround-sound or CD’s, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms…….

WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned

HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them . . . CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as
kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good

And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn’t it?!

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:

“With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks….Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?”

[tags]kids, growing up, survival, jay leno[/tags]