Anxiety is something that is not to be taken lightly. If even adults may have problems with regard to anxiety and they may not know how to handle them properly, how much more for our children? There are many causes of anxiety in children. Some of the most common ones probably have something to do with school and interaction with their peers.

How do we know if our child is suffering from anxiety problems? Scott, in his blog, outlines some symptoms that may arise from such problems:

Is your child exhibiting one or more of these signs? Of course, it does not necessarily mean that he or she has a problem. It could be merely that they are part of growing up. Then again, he or she might really be having some problems – especially if the several of the symptoms above are present.
In the next post, let us look at some ways we can help our child deal with such issues.

No, I am not talking about walking the runway like Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss. What I have in mind is being super (role) models for our kids. I am drawing inspiration for this post from an entry in Dr. Robyn’s blog, entitled Powerful Role Models: Seven Ways to Make a Positive Impact on Children.

As I was reading through the entry, I was taken back in time. I remembered how, as a child, I looked up to may parents so much. In my eyes, they could do no wrong. My mom was a strict disciplinarian while my dad pampered us a bit more. They both walked their talk, as they say. My perception changed somewhat as I grew older but looking back now, I realize just how much my parents’ example has shaped who I am today.

Seeing how I regarded my parents as the main role models in my life, I am quite scared as to what my children would see in me. Would they respect me in much the same way I held my parents and their principles in high regard? Would I be able to live up to their expectations or would I be a disappointment to them?

This is where the 7th point in Dr. Robyn’s post becomes really helpful – demonstrating confidence in who we are. Being a parent is really the best – and the toughest – job in the world and realizing that as parents, we have to be “supermodels” for our kids can make it even tougher. Then again, we should not be afraid to make mistakes and apologize for them if the situation arises. The important thing is that we show a good example to our children – in the best way we can.

Don’t laugh at me but I have always wanted to be a children’s librarian. In fact, I studied that in school. Yet sometimes, plans have a way of changing to accommodate the things that life throws at you. Just because I am not a practicing librarian does not mean that I cannot do the job – if you know what I mean. I was reminded of how important the love of reading is to me when I came across my old books and magazines as I was doing some cleaning up the other day.

I realized the critical role that books and other printed materials played in my life during my formative years and I believe that our children should have the same factors in their lives. Studies have shown that children who read grow up to be more intellectually developed. Children who read learn how to learn more easily – and on their own. More than that, children who read develop their imaginative powers. Contrast reading to watching TV shows and movies – reading encourages children (and even adults!) to create a world of their own in their minds. On the other hand, watching TV or movies presents images – in effect, spoon feeding the viewer and possibly not stimulating one’s imagination as much.

If you remember, I wrote an entry on reading to your children a while back. This is another aspect of reading - reading aloud to your child also helps develop other things. These include vocabulary recognition, language cognition, and voice recognition. I can go on and on about the benefits of reading. The question is this: how do you encourage reading in your children?

A reader of ours shared an interesting article published in The Independent last week (thanks, David) and indeed, it was a thought-provoking piece that led to this post. The article is entitled “Over-parenting is the curse of our time.” Basically, the premise is that more and more parents in the UK are doing more than what is expected of them as parents. Indeed, they are behaving in such a way that they are stifling their children and robbing them of the chance to live their lives normally.

How so? The article relates how children who are over-parented (if there is such a word) and cannot deal with what life dishes out to them on their own. Technology and society, as a whole, do no seem to be helping out in this matter – cell phones, for example, become tools for parents to hold on tight to their children all the more.

So what do I think about this? I can see the truth behind the article’s ideas. Indeed, I have met a lot of people – both parents and children – who are in this situation. An adult of 21 could very well be on his own two feet but instead is tied to his mum’s apron strings. I am not sure about what the article says regarding this situation being more common in rich families, though. I believe that over-parenting can happen with the middle class as well. After all, it is not merely money that dictates this overwhelming sense of protectiveness. It is the parents’ desire to make sure that everything goes on well with their child’s life.

Being as protective as I am, I am glad that I read this article. I just hope that I won’t end up being an über-parent.

Teenagers may not be the most responsible group of people in the world. Though I am saying this at the risk of labeling and stereotyping people, I think it is true in many cases. I still remember being a teenager and how it felt back then. I had my sense of responsibility, no doubt about that, but the sense of adventure and being invincible oftentimes overwhelmed my sensibilities.

One of our readers sent in a link to a video on YouTube, suggesting that we take a look at it and see what we think. You know what? I got scared while watching the video. Maybe I am being the “paranoid mom” but watching that young girl lie to her mom over the phone and through text message just unnerved me. The video was short – it was actually an ad for Safeco Insurance – but it detailed how the teenaged girl told her mom that she and friends were going to rent a movie then go straight home to her friend’s house. As it turned out, she went to a party at someone else’s house.

Issues that I feel are important:

-not telling the truth or feeling that she had to hide her activities from her parents
-drinking when she had to drive home
-being pressured by her friend (who by the way was pushy).

I got scared because I would not want my teenager to act that way. I want my children to grow up as responsible human beings who will not feel the need to hide such things from their parents. I want my children to be able to realize what is right and wrong and to have their own mind. Tough, huh? But I think it’s every parent’s dream. The question is, how do you encourage responsibility in your children?

Yes, the unsavoury phenomena of “keeping up with the Joneses” has already started to rear its ugly head at my daughter’s kindergarten, and we Mothers have become accomplices.

At the age of 4-5, my daughter (and indeed her classmates) has become increasingly aware of what her friends have, prompting the need for her to have whatever it is too.

Take Rose, for instance, her classmate who is obviously over-indulged by her parents. She comes to school in a new outfit nearly every day, and her toy collection at home could rival Hamleys. N tells me that Rose does not have a strict bedtime (she can sleep anytime she wants, which is usually at 1 am with her Mother) and can have new toys any day of the week. The unfairness of it all!!

To a child’s eyes, Rose has hit the jackpot, but to us Moms (well, maybe not Rose), its a clear sign for the road to Veruca-ville. So every week, theres something N wants that one of her friends have got, or worse, a slighty envious comparison on how so-and-so’s bedroom/kitchen…house is bigger than ours. Luckily, even if we have a tiny flat in town, we have a massive garden at our beach property, so N takes pride in that.

I just cant help but feel somewhat scared of this burgeoning materialism at such young age. Kids nowadays have too many things, and its the fault of us parents for buying them for whatever reason - guilt? making up for what we may have lacked as kids? or maybe we’re also keepiing up with the Joneses?

I’ve never been into video games, which probably explains why I’ve always told N that she wouldnt be allowed a Gameboy or the like until she was 10 years old. So imagine my annoyance when at the family Christmas get-together, my 11-year-old half sister (who N adores) lent N her Gameboy, and N was entranced, showing that she clearly had some talent despite being only 5-years-old.

Then a few days ago, her friend Rose (as mentioned in the previous post) brings the latest Gameboy to school, which was a present for her birthday. It was the envy of all the kids at school, especially N. Noticing this when I picked her up from school that day, I gently (but firmly) reminded her that she wasnt getting one until she was 10. She was very-grown up about it, as if resigned to her fate….

Now feeling guilty, I spoke to my husband about it (who, has been desperate for N to be old enough to play video games with him, a hobby he gave up when we had the kids). He said that if we had a “big one” (i.e. something he can play too) at the beach house, which she can only play on weekends or holidays, then MAYBE we can bend this rule a bit. Hmmmmmmm…….

The jury’s not out on thus, but I didn find an interesting article about ways parents can make video games “good” for kids, which I’ll be blogging about next.

This morning, when I got back home from dropping N at kindergarten, I came home to find Jennyfer, our nanny, suddenly scream out and start weeping.

We rushed to her, only to find that she had received word from her sister, that her baby neice had died today. Tragic and sad, but whats worse is that the same sister had a four-year old who also passed away a few years ago, and the most likely reason for both deaths was poverty.

When I spoke to Jennyfer and asked her what had brought this tragedy about, she simply said that her sister and family simply did not have enough money to see a doctor, to buy medicine, and in recent weeks did not even have enough for rice.

I was mortified, asking her why didn’t she ask us for help? That of course we would help her family if only she has told us. In between sobs she just looked shyly at me, obviously grief-stricken and even a little ashamed.

Jennyfer’s family, you see, live in the province of Leyte in the Philippines, and she supports her 9 siblings and parents, being the only one with a job at 22 years of age. Jobs and affordable or free medical help are rare in the area, and sadly, many children and infants die an early death.

On the upside, infant mortality rates in the Philippines have declined a little, by around 2% since 2003 - with 22.81 deaths for every 1,000 births. Nevertheless, it was with a heavy heart that I gave her some money to send back to her sister this morning, money for the funeral and some rice, wishing that we could have somehow helped save this child’s life.

Much as I enjoy my blogging, I have to admit that sometimes it gets tiresome to see my own thoughts on this blog every single day. Which is the reason why I like to spare myself (and whoever else reads this) of me-itis ramblings by posting little bits and bobs, such as the previous post, and this one below.

It wasnt written by me, but its so utterly familiar in my life as a parent, that I feel I could have written it too. Well, some of it at least.

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you’ve had a baby … somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a mother, “normal” is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct, somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring … somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver’s permit.

Somebody said if you’re a “good” mother, your child will “turn out good”… somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said “good” mothers never raise their voices …somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the
neighbor’s kitchen window.

Somebody said you don’t need an education to be a mother…. somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.

Somebody said you can’t love the second child as much as you love the first … somebody doesn’t have two children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books….somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery….somebody never watched her “baby” get on the bus for the first day of
kindergarten or on a plane headed for military “boot camp.”

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back….somebody never organized seven giggling Brownies
to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married….somebody doesn’t know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother’s heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother’s job is done when her last child leaves home….somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don’t need to tell her…. somebody isn’t a mother.

Kids are like sponges. Especially at the preschool age, they absorb just about anything they see or hear. Kids are like parrots, too. Often they would repeat just what they hear other people say. My two-year-old daughter, C, is like this. She repeats everything her older sister says. And most of the time, she understands just what is being said–she has quite a wide vocabulary already. Otherwise, she would repeat what has been said and ask, “Dad, what’s that (the thing that had just been uttered).”

Unfortunately, kids can also easily pick up on foul or mature language, whether from other people or from media like television or radio. And things like these are very very difficult to unlearn.

So it pays to be careful with what you say around kids. They can easily imitate. Of course, it helps to know that they probably don’t understand much of what they’re saying (like foul language). But then again, these aren’t very pleasant to the ear, and they might keep on uttering these until they eventually learn the meanings when they grow up a bit.