Hold your horses, not too fast and no violence involved. Many people are pissed at the way things are handled in court, much so that convicted killers, scammers and everybody in between go unpunished because of the legalities involved. Now let me ask you this, do you want to take them on with the backing of the law that so protects them, and gain the same protection for your and your family? Have you ever considered taking online law degrees with the many colleges offering them today, it’s easy as pie and you can do it while keeping your job during the day. many major colleges are now offering online law courses for those who want career advancement. For us, it would be the pure pleasure of learning hoe these criminals get away with the things they do.
Many of us are just plain tired and say that let them do the job for you, but most of the times, you’re not contented with the way they handle things. The law is a very tedious and tender matter that anybody without insight can easily get swallowed by the many such technicalities that are part of these laws. They are however the foundation of our society so whatever is within these laws makes modern life possible. Get down and dirty and get involved by getting yourself knowledgeable in the law that has failed you so much. Get involved and turn the law onto your side and keep the guilty ones out of the streets making them safer for our families, friends and everybody else.
First of all, I have to tell my dearest husband: Honey, I LOVED your post! Only you could have come up with reasons that make such brilliant sense…..and I agree with all of it, except that the idea of our children glued to the television screen (wii remote in action or not) for HOURS on end just doesn’t sit well with me, whatever the multiple benefits are. But because you were the Superdaddy while I was away – keeping our three angels happy, entertained and relatively healthy (I heard about the monster-size cones at Dairy Queen) while I lazed on the beach and drank cocktails, I won’t argue with you on this one – for now at least 
But back to my absence – going off with your girlfriends for a few days is one of the best things a Mom can do, and I highly recommend it. I am speaking of my best friends from high school, who I only see about once a year (if we’re lucky) as we live on opposite sides of the globe. To be honest, I wasn’t raring to go – they practically forced me on the trip, while I worried and hesitated, nervous that my little family couldn’t survive without me, or me them. Especially as I am still nursing Wills, the youngest. The answer to that one? f.o.r.m.u.l.a (I brought my breast pump too, of course) and some gentle (and unselfish!) encouragement from the hubby.
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Yes, the unsavoury phenomena of “keeping up with the Joneses” has already started to rear its ugly head at my daughter’s kindergarten, and we Mothers have become accomplices.
At the age of 4-5, my daughter (and indeed her classmates) has become increasingly aware of what her friends have, prompting the need for her to have whatever it is too.
Take Rose, for instance, her classmate who is obviously over-indulged by her parents. She comes to school in a new outfit nearly every day, and her toy collection at home could rival Hamleys. N tells me that Rose does not have a strict bedtime (she can sleep anytime she wants, which is usually at 1 am with her Mother) and can have new toys any day of the week. The unfairness of it all!!
To a child’s eyes, Rose has hit the jackpot, but to us Moms (well, maybe not Rose), its a clear sign for the road to Veruca-ville. So every week, theres something N wants that one of her friends have got, or worse, a slighty envious comparison on how so-and-so’s bedroom/kitchen…house is bigger than ours. Luckily, even if we have a tiny flat in town, we have a massive garden at our beach property, so N takes pride in that.
I just cant help but feel somewhat scared of this burgeoning materialism at such young age. Kids nowadays have too many things, and its the fault of us parents for buying them for whatever reason – guilt? making up for what we may have lacked as kids? or maybe we’re also keepiing up with the Joneses?
One of the best things I can recommend to each and every Mom out there, is to get a few days of “de-Momming” every year, away from the children, away from the spouse, and with your best girlfriends. If you havent done it yet, I urge you to to put all guilt aside and trust your kids with their Dad (who honestly will do an OK job, I swear). You’ll emerge not just refreshed but you’ll regain some of your old self too – B.C. (before children).
The day after Christmas, I did just that. It was the first time I ever did it – leave the kids alone with my husband and actually go on a mini-holiday without my young family. I was guilty and kind of nervous when I got on the plane, and when I got to the island, I was actually still wondering what the hell I was doing, leaving the 3 people who I loved most.
I met up with my two best girlfriends from high school, both of whom live miles away from each other, and from me. If we’re lucky, we get to see each other once a year, and not for very long, so five days together were a rare pleasure indeed.
On the first night there, one of the girls sweetly treated me to the spa for the best two-hour deep tissue massage I have had in my life. I dont know if it was the therapist’s expert hands, the sublime rose petal bath afterwards, or the open-air treatment villa we were in, but I was more relaxed than I had been in a very long time. After the spa, we met up with friends at beach bar and sipped “sea breezes”, chatting until the wee hours.
The rest of the trip took the same trend – sunning, swimming, listening to music, eating (lots of seafood!), drinking cocktails (not quite the same amounts as my B.C. days, but still a great deal more than usual!), shopping at the beach boutiques and chatting, chatting and more chatting. It was heaven!
Yes, it was admittedly a bit strange at first to switch off from Mommy-mode, not having to think about what the kids were doing, what they were eating next, or what I could do to keep them busy without having to resort to the DVD player (and you could say the same train of thought applied to my hubby). In fact, there wasn’t much thinking at all, which was just perfect.
So five days later (I extended a day, fully supported by my hubby – aren’t I lucky?), I returned home, tired from the plane and car journey, but feeling absolutely great. I discovered that sometimes our old selves tend to get lost in being a Mom, and that a few days on the beach with the girls is all it takes to regain some of it again.
[tags]beach holiday, girls trip[/tags]
Playgroup is the lifeline of a lot of moms. New moms, old moms, expat moms, native moms…whatever. If you have kids who don’t go to “big school”(read:full time elementary), a playgroup is the answer to not just keeping the little ones busy, but the best way to spend time with kindered spirits of the “hood”.
The problem is, some members of the “hood” can’t help but take advantage of the situation. I just got an email from the coordinator mom of one of my kids playgroups with list of guidelines and rules. Very necessary, she said because of the certain way things were going lately. There were rules like:
“No leaving your kids without supervision. This is NOT a daycare. If you cannot be around, you must okay it with the host first”.
These new rules were especially pertinent when at a playgroup at my house the other day, one mom texted me at 5.00 pm (the set time for pick-up) and asked if it was ok if she left her 2 kids (4 years and 2 years) with us until “around” 8.30 pm because she and her husband had gone to some far-off place to buy fish for their aquarium and would “probably” be stuck in traffic. Grrrrr….
First of all, I didn’t know her that well (our kids are Kindergarten classmates), and second of all, anyone with young kids should know that from 6-9 pm is the “crunch” time of the day to get your kids fed,bathed and put to bed – and not still be in playgroup. I was seething. Probably because I knew in my heart that she probably could get them earlier if she wanted to, but decided to go shopping instead with the hubby. Double grrrr.
[tags]parenting,kids,playgroup,protocol,toddlers,kindergarten,moms[/tags]
Carrying on from the last post, I’ve stumbled upon the question – “Is Kid Burnout Possible?” Obviously the answer is yes, but perheps even more relevant is the question “Are Parents Knowingly Sending Their Kids To Burnout?”.
I had some drinks one evening with two good friends, all of which have kids roughly the same age of mine. Anyway, as these evenings go, the topic naturally went to our kids, mothering and other mom friends (does the last count as gossip?). Husbands were within earshot, so clearly that topic had to wait for another time.
But what I discovered was interesting. Most, if not all Moms with kids over 3 let their kids do at least 2 or 3 activities a week apart from school. In my case, my daughter has playgroup, football and now is dabbling with ice skating. One friend’s son goes to futsal (indoor football), swimming, and playgroup. Another friend’s daughter went to ballet, kumon and playgroup 3 x a week.
But to beat us all was another friend, who’s daughter did a “Leapfrog” class at Gymboree, ice skating, t-ball, ballet AND playgroup 3 x a week aside from full-time Kindergarten. Granted, her Mom is one you could clearly classify as a type “A” mom. Skinny and seemingly always stressed out, this Mom, bless her heart, runs several businesses and is also known to be a very caring “hands-on-type”. And I just cant help but wonder if this hectic schedule is too much for a 4-year-old??? I doubt my little girl could handle it – and she’s got masses of energy.
How much is too much? Does it depend on the child or the parent? Definitely something to chew on.
No, thankfully not mine, but when it happens to people close to you. My daughter sees it on television and I’ve explained it in concept – “when mommies and daddies can’t get along… are fighting too much, and wont live together anymore…” etc etc..
But what I find harder is when a new person comes into the scene. Later today, my Mother is coming to visit us with her new “friend”. In her 50′s, she’s decided to leave her husband of 15 years (my stepdad, whose also been married 3 times before), because she says that for the first time ever, this new guy is making her feel things she never felt before.
Without wanting to be the judgemental, moralistic daughter (okay, so I am a bit), I cant help but feel VERY uncomfortable about the whole affair. Things arent really tied up with my Stepdad yet, and yet here comes my children’s Grandmother, passing by for coffee en route to the resort down the road where they’ll be spending the weekend – like its the most normal thing in the world!
I tried to explain to my daughter who this person her Grandma was coming with – a friend who was a doctor and that they were going to the resort to meditate and do yoga (something my Mother is passionate about and her ex-to-be wasnt, but this guy is – get it now?). She took it with a grain of salt, but I do wonder what will go through her 4-year old- mind when they arrive later.
