“My tummy hurts!” That was my perpetual excuse from my childhood years to my teenage years. This usually happened right after we had lunch or dinner together as a family. What triggered it? I didn’t want to do the dishes.
It is a bit humorous when I think about it but now that I am no longer a child, I realize the importance of teaching our children how to do basic house chores. We were not rich but we were comfortable. Our parents taught us everything around the house – from doing the dishes to doing the laundry and even basic plumbing and electrical work!
Today, I realize that not many children know how to do even the most basic of household work. I was talking to a friend of mine about this and he said that he does not care whether or not his children help out at home as long as they did well in school – that was their job. I do see where he is coming from but I also know that I prefer my children to know how to take care of themselves in the house.
I was reading this blog post on Mum-Mum, a web site dedicated to kids and parenting, which aggregates blog posts from all over the web (yep, they do link to our posts, too – thanks!). I like how the writer outlined different chores that children of all ages could do at home. Maybe I’ll talk more about specific chores for kids in the next post.
A reader of ours shared an interesting article published in The Independent last week (thanks, David) and indeed, it was a thought-provoking piece that led to this post. The article is entitled “Over-parenting is the curse of our time.” Basically, the premise is that more and more parents in the UK are doing more than what is expected of them as parents. Indeed, they are behaving in such a way that they are stifling their children and robbing them of the chance to live their lives normally.
How so? The article relates how children who are over-parented (if there is such a word) and cannot deal with what life dishes out to them on their own. Technology and society, as a whole, do no seem to be helping out in this matter – cell phones, for example, become tools for parents to hold on tight to their children all the more.
So what do I think about this? I can see the truth behind the article’s ideas. Indeed, I have met a lot of people – both parents and children – who are in this situation. An adult of 21 could very well be on his own two feet but instead is tied to his mum’s apron strings. I am not sure about what the article says regarding this situation being more common in rich families, though. I believe that over-parenting can happen with the middle class as well. After all, it is not merely money that dictates this overwhelming sense of protectiveness. It is the parents’ desire to make sure that everything goes on well with their child’s life.
Being as protective as I am, I am glad that I read this article. I just hope that I won’t end up being an über-parent.
Teenagers may not be the most responsible group of people in the world. Though I am saying this at the risk of labeling and stereotyping people, I think it is true in many cases. I still remember being a teenager and how it felt back then. I had my sense of responsibility, no doubt about that, but the sense of adventure and being invincible oftentimes overwhelmed my sensibilities.
One of our readers sent in a link to a video on YouTube, suggesting that we take a look at it and see what we think. You know what? I got scared while watching the video. Maybe I am being the “paranoid mom” but watching that young girl lie to her mom over the phone and through text message just unnerved me. The video was short – it was actually an ad for Safeco Insurance – but it detailed how the teenaged girl told her mom that she and friends were going to rent a movie then go straight home to her friend’s house. As it turned out, she went to a party at someone else’s house.
Issues that I feel are important:
-not telling the truth or feeling that she had to hide her activities from her parents
-drinking when she had to drive home
-being pressured by her friend (who by the way was pushy).
I got scared because I would not want my teenager to act that way. I want my children to grow up as responsible human beings who will not feel the need to hide such things from their parents. I want my children to be able to realize what is right and wrong and to have their own mind. Tough, huh? But I think it’s every parent’s dream. The question is, how do you encourage responsibility in your children?
It is common knowledge that children generally have short attention spans. The attention span of children varies from one individual to the next but any parent would know just how short they can be! I know how frustrating it can be, as a parent, when your kid just can’t seem to sit still or stay in one place for more than a minute – especially if you are trying to get something done.
So what is the best way to deal with this? I thought I’d share some things I have learned based on experience. I am not saying that my way is the best but it does work.
Introduce variety
Every time your child starts whining or wiggling (or when your child shows any signs of boredom), try to introduce a new activity. Children need a wide variety of stimuli and they get bored easily with one kind. They find it monotonous and thus try to find ways to get your attention. I never said it would be easy – looking after your child for one whole day could really wear you out!
Dish out praise…
…but make sure you do not over do it. Explain to your child why he needs to focus on a single activity for a while. If he succeeds without whining, praise him and tell him how good he has been. Be specific and give reasons as to why you are praising him.
How about you, what do you do to help increase your child’s attention span?
We grew up without a television in the house. I think I mentioned that in my last post. It was not simply because our parents could not afford to buy one but more because they believed that TV was not essential to our development as individuals. I remember going to our cousin’s house next door after school to watch a little bit of TV. I remember long summer months wherein we would have to go next door to get our share of cartoons.
Back then, I felt so deprived. My classmates would be talking about the latest episodes of the most popular cartoons and I would feel so left out. All I had were images in my head from stories that I read in the countless books that we had at home. Little did I know that that experience would enrich my life even more than the TV shows back then. Looking back, I realise that our parents actually did well in deciding that we should not have a television set.
Today, though, I can’t help but wonder if this practice can still apply. For one, we already have our own TV at home. We even have other similar gadgets like the computer, DVD player, and a video game console – all of which the kids can use. Of course, the books are still there – they can never be taken out of the equation.
I think that the times have changed. The television and other multimedia devices can help with our children’s development. However, there has to be discipline. What they watch, when they watch, and how long they watch needs to be controlled. They have to know their limits and balance their priorities as well.
Adults have them – why should children be exempt? Observing children these days, it seems to me, though, that they are more prone to having mood swings than in the past. Or maybe it is merely dependent on the personality of each individual child.
I am sure you have an idea of what I am talking about. For example, your kid would be cheerful and playful in the morning and then suddenly, for no apparent reason, his mood would change. He’d become gloomy and sulky. Of course, I am not talking about instances wherein there is a cause for the change in mood. Now that is understandable. Yet how about those instances wherein you cannot find a reason? Do you think it is something serious?
I believe that in these cases, somehow, there is an underlying reason – just like with us adults. Perhaps that reason is not immediately apparent but if you take the time to find it out, it will soon surface and you can deal with it.
The question then is how should a parent deal with these mood swings? I find this the most effective strategy – ride it out. In the beginning, my initial reaction was to argue and reason. I soon found out that, more often than not, this would only aggravate matters. It is better to wait till he gets over his bad mood and then have a talk. This way, he is feeling better and would be more likely to listen to reason.
Much like adults, don’t you think?
The Christmas season has just ended and I just realized how BIG gaming consoles are for children. We spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with my extended family and I was really surprised to see that most of the kids had a gaming console with them – the portable ones!
Don’t get me wrong – I have nothing against gaming consoles. In fact, I kind of like the PlayStation Portable (PSP), which my husband got for himself when it first came out. Aside from the price, I think that this gadget is quite nifty – you can do more than play games.
The dilemma I have been having is how old should a child be before he or she could get a gaming console? More so, what kind of console is right for a certain age? Take my nephew, he is only 5 and his parents bought him a PSP. I think it’s too expensive a toy for his age.
My other nephew got a Gameboy Advance and he’s 7. I think that’s a better match. Then again, he felt so envious of the PSP, which a younger cousin already has!
As a parent, it could be quite hard to make the right decisions – should you get your child a gaming console? If so, which one? More than that, how do you handle their use of the console?
I believe that it boils down to more than the game or toy itself. It is part of disciplining your children and giving them what they want at the same time. Good parenting includes treats and teaching children control at the same time.
The best way to get good tips and tricks on how to properly balance parenthood and personal life is to learn and read it from the people who know. Such can be found from sites that have used the services offered by organizations as the Los Angeles SEO when it comes to affordable search engine optimization and many have been directed towards their way.
For sure, parents are looking for advanced practices on how to become better parents. Moods and the things they do at home are not enough. There are varying techniques in the world of parenting today and people just have to be more open to them. Books may be of help but with the way technology has been spread today, the web is where updated facts and resources are at.
Be assured that there are a lot of ideas over the web today for better parenting practices. They are just waiting to be found!
Yes, the unsavoury phenomena of “keeping up with the Joneses” has already started to rear its ugly head at my daughter’s kindergarten, and we Mothers have become accomplices.
At the age of 4-5, my daughter (and indeed her classmates) has become increasingly aware of what her friends have, prompting the need for her to have whatever it is too.
Take Rose, for instance, her classmate who is obviously over-indulged by her parents. She comes to school in a new outfit nearly every day, and her toy collection at home could rival Hamleys. N tells me that Rose does not have a strict bedtime (she can sleep anytime she wants, which is usually at 1 am with her Mother) and can have new toys any day of the week. The unfairness of it all!!
To a child’s eyes, Rose has hit the jackpot, but to us Moms (well, maybe not Rose), its a clear sign for the road to Veruca-ville. So every week, theres something N wants that one of her friends have got, or worse, a slighty envious comparison on how so-and-so’s bedroom/kitchen…house is bigger than ours. Luckily, even if we have a tiny flat in town, we have a massive garden at our beach property, so N takes pride in that.
I just cant help but feel somewhat scared of this burgeoning materialism at such young age. Kids nowadays have too many things, and its the fault of us parents for buying them for whatever reason - guilt? making up for what we may have lacked as kids? or maybe we’re also keepiing up with the Joneses?
I’ve never been into video games, which probably explains why I’ve always told N that she wouldnt be allowed a Gameboy or the like until she was 10 years old. So imagine my annoyance when at the family Christmas get-together, my 11-year-old half sister (who N adores) lent N her Gameboy, and N was entranced, showing that she clearly had some talent despite being only 5-years-old.
Then a few days ago, her friend Rose (as mentioned in the previous post) brings the latest Gameboy to school, which was a present for her birthday. It was the envy of all the kids at school, especially N. Noticing this when I picked her up from school that day, I gently (but firmly) reminded her that she wasnt getting one until she was 10. She was very-grown up about it, as if resigned to her fate….
Now feeling guilty, I spoke to my husband about it (who, has been desperate for N to be old enough to play video games with him, a hobby he gave up when we had the kids). He said that if we had a “big one” (i.e. something he can play too) at the beach house, which she can only play on weekends or holidays, then MAYBE we can bend this rule a bit. Hmmmmmmm…….
The jury’s not out on thus, but I didn find an interesting article about ways parents can make video games “good” for kids, which I’ll be blogging about next.
