Have you ever wished that you had a clear cut guide on how to raise your children? I know that I have and probably many other parents have as well. We all know, however, that there is nothing such as an absolute when it comes to rearing kids. Each person is different, each situation unique. Still, it would be nice to have a good guide as to how to go about being a parent, don’t you think?

Courant.com recently featured a book by Matthew Kelly that just might give us what we are looking for. Entitled Building Better Families: A Practical Guide to Raising Amazing Children, the book aims to empower parents in raising wonderful kids. Of course, there is no such thing as a guarantee when it comes to this, but critics hail the book as one of the best there is.

I honestly haven’t read it yet but from the reviews that I have been reading, I think I need to get my hands on a copy. Courant’s feature ends with this:

The book does not include a simple 10-step plan or suggest that parents embrace a specific discipline method, diet, exercise regime or work/play ratio. Instead, Kelly is all about using — and teaching your kids to use — a single guiding principle for decisions great and small. When confronted with a choice, they and you should ask this question: “Will this help me become a better version of myself?”

Sounds good to me!

Don’t laugh at me but I have always wanted to be a children’s librarian. In fact, I studied that in school. Yet sometimes, plans have a way of changing to accommodate the things that life throws at you. Just because I am not a practicing librarian does not mean that I cannot do the job – if you know what I mean. I was reminded of how important the love of reading is to me when I came across my old books and magazines as I was doing some cleaning up the other day.

I realized the critical role that books and other printed materials played in my life during my formative years and I believe that our children should have the same factors in their lives. Studies have shown that children who read grow up to be more intellectually developed. Children who read learn how to learn more easily – and on their own. More than that, children who read develop their imaginative powers. Contrast reading to watching TV shows and movies – reading encourages children (and even adults!) to create a world of their own in their minds. On the other hand, watching TV or movies presents images – in effect, spoon feeding the viewer and possibly not stimulating one’s imagination as much.

If you remember, I wrote an entry on reading to your children a while back. This is another aspect of reading - reading aloud to your child also helps develop other things. These include vocabulary recognition, language cognition, and voice recognition. I can go on and on about the benefits of reading. The question is this: how do you encourage reading in your children?

We grew up without a television in the house. I think I mentioned that in my last post. It was not simply because our parents could not afford to buy one but more because they believed that TV was not essential to our development as individuals. I remember going to our cousin’s house next door after school to watch a little bit of TV. I remember long summer months wherein we would have to go next door to get our share of cartoons.

Back then, I felt so deprived. My classmates would be talking about the latest episodes of the most popular cartoons and I would feel so left out. All I had were images in my head from stories that I read in the countless books that we had at home. Little did I know that that experience would enrich my life even more than the TV shows back then. Looking back, I realise that our parents actually did well in deciding that we should not have a television set.

Today, though, I can’t help but wonder if this practice can still apply. For one, we already have our own TV at home. We even have other similar gadgets like the computer, DVD player, and a video game console – all of which the kids can use. Of course, the books are still there – they can never be taken out of the equation.

I think that the times have changed. The television and other multimedia devices can help with our children’s development. However, there has to be discipline. What they watch, when they watch, and how long they watch needs to be controlled. They have to know their limits and balance their priorities as well.

If there is one thing that I will treasure most from my childhood, it is the fact that my parents always took the time to read books to me – always. Our situation may have been a bit extraordinary as we grew up without a television at home so we ended up loving books with a passion. Still, I believe it was our parents’ initiative that nurtured that love of reading which has undoubtedly contributed much to our formative years.

Now that I am in my mother’s place, I recognize the importance of reading to children, no matter how old they are. From infanthood till the time your child learns to read, reading to them everyday is important. Simple stories, picture books, and the like – these are vital in the development of your child.

Once he learns to read on his own, should we still read to him? I think that it shouldn’t stop just because he can do it by himself. Bedtime stories are one of the things that your child will remember when he grows up. More than an intellectual activity, this is also a perfect way to bond with your child. It is one way of showing him that he is important and a priority for you. I still remember slowly drifting away to Neverland with the soothing voice of my mom or my dad in the background – a perfect way to sink into the thralls of night of peaceful sleep!

So, do you read to your children? Do you spend enough time doing this?

As we got a little older, my sister and I became voracious readers. One of our favourite places in the world was the Foyles bookshop in London, where we would spend hours on end choosing and reading books. The library near the Edgware Road was also a weekly treat. After a whole afternoon choosing books, we would pass by the local bakery for some delicious “air” bread to take home for tea. It truly was the stuff of childhood memories!

Anyway, the all-of-a-kind family was another series we re-read over and over again. For two girls growing up in the late seventies, there was a strange fascination with this turn-of-the-century family in America. Who can resist the characters - sensible Ella, the eldest girl, spunky Henny with her perfect curls, the little sisters and of course Mama and Papa who had very little money but a lot of morals- and love!

Written by Sydney Taylor, The all-of-a-kind family comprised 5 sisters (who were Jewish), growing up in New York’s Lower East Side. Simple joys, simple activities, ah the simple life in those days!

All-of-a-Kind Family (1951) is the first book of a series. Other books in the series include
More All-of-a-Kind Family (1954), All-of-a-Kind Family Uptown (1957), All-of-a-Kind Family Down-town (1972), and Ella of All-of-a-Kind Family (1978).

My copies all seem to be gone now (Mom! where have they gone?), but I can’t wait until the day I can introduce them to my daughter.

Another favourite book of my sister and I growing up were of Babar the elephant who lived with his tres charmant famille in Celesteville. On our first trip to Paris, my sister had a rather large stuffed toy of him which she took to the top of the Eiffel tower, just like in the story - needless to say it was the highlight of our trip and a very fond memory for both of us.

Here are some Babar facts:

With over 100 licensees worldwide, the Babar brand has a multi-generational following. There are even 12 dedicated Babar stores in Japan.

Babar has eight points to his crown.

A global cultural phenomenon, whose fans span generations, Babar stands along side Mickey as one of the most recognized children’s characters in the world.

Babar made his debut in “The Story of Babar” published in 1931 by Jean de Brunhoff. Jean created and illustrated seven Babar titles before dying in 1937. Laurent de Brunhoff, son of Jean, continues his father’s work and is still writing Babar books.

In 2006 Babar will celebrate being King of The Elephants for 75 years.

There are now over 30,000 Babar publications in over 17 languages, and over 8 million books have been sold. Laurent de Brunhoff’s Babar’s Yoga for Elephants is a top seller in the U.S with over 100,000 copies sold to date. The Babar series of books are recommended reading on First Lady Laura Bush’s national reading initiative list. Babar has been a perennial favorite for years at the White House Easter Egg Roll.

I spent quite a few years of my childhood in England, and one of my most cherished books from the time are the Topsy and Tim books by Jean and Gareth Adamson. I’m not sure of it was the simple, colourful illustrations or the storylines which were pretty ordinary but interesting at the same time. Whatever it was, its held its magic for the past 20-odd years as my old dog-eared copies are among my 4 year-old’s favourites.

Today most childrens books and indeed, toys, are based on the commercialised marketing of big names - like Thomas the Tank Engine, Barney, Barbie and so on. Yes, my kids love those two, but the magic of two ordinary kids undoubtedly have a special pull of their own.

The Topsy and Tim books were written by Cambridgeshire author Jean Adamson, and her late husband Gareth and first published in 1960.

Jean, now 74, believed that children created there own magic and that the decision to make them twins was so the boy and the girl could have “an equal place”.

“We don’t need magic because all the world is magic to children.
…Let’s do something for the modern world with real-life children’.”

As the series developed Gareth and Jean’s three children influenced and Jean would see how the children reacted to situations which were mirrored in the book.

“When we started we didn’t have any children and then we had our own three children in quick succession and the children almost wrote the books for us,” she said.

Since it was first published in 1960, more than 130 Topsy and Tim titles have been published with sales of over 21 million copies.

New editions was released in 2003, and although my daughter loves them just the same, I definitely miss the wonderful illustrations of the old editions.