Do you children have pets? I grew up with dogs all over our house – my dad loves animals and we grew up loving them as well. Yet some of the saddest times in my life are linked to the times when one of the dogs would die. Some died of old age, some of illness, one of an accident, another of poisoning. Looking back, I realize how parents can have a hard time explaining the loss of a pet. More than having to deal with the loss of a treasured companion, parents have to explain the concept of death. How do you deal with the loss of a pet?

I found some practical information in an article written by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend in Christianity Today. They point out that:

They’re not sure what dying is all about. They don’t have a clear idea if it’s like sleeping or if it’s a trip to another dimension. They don’t know if it’s good, bad, permanent or temporary. Your basic task is to help your child see that the death of a pet is real. And yet it’s a reality that’s bearable because he has a mom who will help him understand and deal with it.

So what can we do as parents? They outline some tips:

-Help your children understand that death is part of life. It is not something to be scared of.
-God loves pets and is in control of whatever happens to them.
-It is ok to feel sad – grieving is a part of life.
-Create a positive memory – remind your children of the happy times they had with your pet.
-Get back into life’s activities. As the saying goes, life goes on.

Losing a pet is indeed a difficult situation but it is a good opportunity to show your children that death is not something that we should fear.

Don’t laugh at me but I have always wanted to be a children’s librarian. In fact, I studied that in school. Yet sometimes, plans have a way of changing to accommodate the things that life throws at you. Just because I am not a practicing librarian does not mean that I cannot do the job – if you know what I mean. I was reminded of how important the love of reading is to me when I came across my old books and magazines as I was doing some cleaning up the other day.

I realized the critical role that books and other printed materials played in my life during my formative years and I believe that our children should have the same factors in their lives. Studies have shown that children who read grow up to be more intellectually developed. Children who read learn how to learn more easily – and on their own. More than that, children who read develop their imaginative powers. Contrast reading to watching TV shows and movies – reading encourages children (and even adults!) to create a world of their own in their minds. On the other hand, watching TV or movies presents images – in effect, spoon feeding the viewer and possibly not stimulating one’s imagination as much.

If you remember, I wrote an entry on reading to your children a while back. This is another aspect of reading - reading aloud to your child also helps develop other things. These include vocabulary recognition, language cognition, and voice recognition. I can go on and on about the benefits of reading. The question is this: how do you encourage reading in your children?

Just like many families who didn’t go out of the city over the Easter weekend, we found ourselves at the mall on Saturday. It was not one of the most perfect times to go as there were throngs of people but we still found ourselves enjoying each other’s company and the sights to see. That was, until our little boy started throwing a fit because he wanted some Coke before dinner. Of course, mommy said no – he can have a glass after the meal. It would have been fine except that an uncle went ahead and bought himself a can. Little boy then started whining and comparing his uncle.

So how did we handle this? The way we usually do it is to give calm explanations. Children are quite rational if you get them used to it from the outset. Yesterday, though, it didn’t work immediately. Little boy kept whining and asking for a Coke. I decided to ignore him. After a while it stopped and we had dinner in peace – with two glasses of Coke afterwards.

Did I do the right thing? Should we ignore our children’s bad behavior? Tammy Daniele in Parenting Coach suggests doing so. However, she emphasizes that we should not ignore the CHILD but ignore the BEHAVIOR instead. She goes on to say that: A simple statement that sends the message that you, as a parent, are not going to respond to certain behaviors and will not respond until a more suitable behavior is being displayed.

I totally agree. How about you?

How many text messages do you send in a day? How about in a month? Are you one of those people who is always seen with a mobile phone in hand, hunched over it like there was no tomorrow? Dr. Bryan Vartabedian poses a question in his blog: How much texting is too much?

Several years ago, this question might not even come up too often. Today, however, the question arises once too often and applies not only to teenagers but to us parents as well! With the advent of affordable mobile phones and telecomm plans to go with them, it is but inevitable that many of us tend to get too caught up in text messaging. But is this really a concern? Are we texting too much?

I think that the more pressing matter, though, is what we teach to our kids by example. If they see us texting at the breakfast table, while watching TV, during dinner, and while driving, then we should re-think our habits. If we tell our kids to control their texting and not to text in class or to go to bed and stop texting and yet we do not do the same ourselves, then do you think they will obey?

This issue spans more than the actual activity of texting. It encompasses more than technology and its effects. I believe that the root is how parents teach children through how they behave and act. The principle can very well extend to other matters such as smoking and other lifestyle matters. Wouldn’t you agree?

Does your family celebrate Easter? If your family is Christian, you probably do. Yet even if you are not really into the spiritual side of Easter, you can still have some fun with your kids. Personally, I enjoy activities both with religious significance and the more non-sectarian aspect. Here are some tips for a hassle-free Easter celebration with your kids.

Religious activities
If you attend church regularly, then you would probably have set plans for Easter Sunday. If not, then check with your local church and see what they have in store for the children on this special day. You could even simply go to church as a family and observe Easter. You can also hold a special Easter meal and commemorate the rising of Christ.

Easter egg hunt
For the more non-sectarian approach, you can organize your own Easter egg hunt at home. It would be fun to gather your kids and their friends for this event. To make things easier for you, why not purchase some plastic eggs which can hold some goodies? This will get rid of the task of boiling eggs and purchasing separate treats.

You can also check your local malls or events center. The chances are that they will be holding Easter egg hunt activities. This will probably be easier on you as you do not have to organize your own hunt. More so, your kids could enjoy the company of other people that they have never met before.

What is the difference between reminding and nagging? Where do you draw the line? I believe that this is one of many grey areas in parenting – and I am not alone. A post by Kori Rodley Irons prompted me to write a post on this topic. In her blog, she poses the questions:

Based on experience, I believe the best way is to instill a sense of responsibility in our children early on. When you ask them to do something, try to make them understand that there are consequences to their action or their inaction. Of course, in the beginning, you would probably have to keep on reminding until they realize that there is no way out of it. This could be dubbed as nagging by some people but perhaps the difference lies in the fact that you are reminding because you are trying to teach your children something and not because you are getting irritated that they are not taking some action.

Therein lies the difficulty. Being able to keep reminding without getting mad is not an easy thing to do. Perhaps in this aspect, we have some learning to do as well.

Whether you are trying to have a baby or you are delaying having one, missing a period could be quite an experience. This is especially true for those who have their monthly period regularly and never miss it. I am actually undergoing this experience as I have been quite concerned for the past 2 months. I have heard of countless stories about women being on the pill and yet conceiving. So the first thing that I do when I miss a period is to get a pregnancy test kit – the one you can use at home.

I could always go to the doctor and have a blood test done but this usually costs 2 or 3 times more than the home kit. Does the home kit work though? Of course! The problem actually might be that you would have countless choices to choose from – which one works best? Which one is most reliable?

The best thing to do would be to consult your local pharmacist. They would certainly know which products are the most popular and reliable. You can also check with your network of girl friends who may have more experience in this respect. Personally, though, I have found most brands to work quite reliably. I never really dwelled much on the brand name. I’d simply go to the drugstore and get several packets of different brands and use them all. That way, I feel that I have all bases covered. Then again, if you really want to be sure, then the best course would be to go visit the doctor and pay the extra cost.

Goodness, I can go on and on about this topic – but don’t worry, I won’t. I just thought I’d pick up on one of the points in the previous point - Letter A of the ABCs of Parenting. A reader of ours also made a comment that she really has to work on this point and I realized that I do too!

I think this is one of my problems – I need to be in control of everything. It is in my nature. Somehow, even if it is not shown overtly, I want to control my husband, my kids, my job, and my life. If something is even not remotely under my control, I don’t feel right. Maybe that is why there are a lot of times that I feel as if the weight of the world is on my shoulders!

I’ve learned a lot about letting go in the past year, however. It may be passé, but the Serenity Prayer really helped me. I am sure many of you know it by heart but let me share a snippet just the same:

As parents, we find out that there are SO MANY things that we cannot change. It is the accepting the fact that can present quite a challenge. Still, it is comforting to know that we are not alone in our experiences, isn’t it?

Being a parent is a tough job – I am sure most of you will agree with me on that. It does have its wonderful moments that cannot be replaced by anything else but the fact remains that there are days which are going to try the most patient person. There are days when the stress will seem to be too much too bear. I ran across a post from Dr. Robyn J.A. Silverman which presents the ABCs of parenting. Now I would be the last person to simplify things to match the alphabet, to be honest – parenting is so much more than ABC – but I really found this list helpful. Allow me to share some of the letters of the alphabet and how they can help parents take on the challenges of their lives.

A- Accept the things you can not change: Single parenting? Step parenting? ADHD parenting? Just dealing with time crunches, making lunches, bunches and bunches of bills? It’s important to recognize that there are some things you can not control, surrender, move on.

B- Breathe: When things get hairy, scary, and you feel like you can barely hold on, take a step back, breathe, and be calm.

C- Count your blessings. Even though you have the weight of the world on you right now and feel far from compassionate for others who have things much worse than you do, there is some value in taking a moment to look at the things that are going right today, such as your child’s tantrum-free morning or how your spouse took out the trash…

All these three things, I find difficult, especially when faced with seemingly insurmountable things. Yet, I realize that they can indeed help me become more efficient and loving at the same time. I hope you see things the same way as well.

I got an e-mail the other day from Vanessa Van Petten of Teens Today With Vanessa Van Petten. As I was reading the e-mail, I felt like a little kid – I wanted to clap my hands together and do a bit of a jump while I was at it. (Ok, fine, I did clap my hands once.) Here is what she had to say:

I just wanted to write and let you know that your blog has been submitted to my
contest for the “Best Mom Blog!”

Hooray! I actually have already been reading your blog and love it, and have been RSSing for a few months so I am happy to add you to the list.

I wanted you to be aware that (I hope) you will be getting some more traffic from my site as I post the Top 50. I am actually 22 and write a parenting blog from the kids perspective to keep things exciting as a sort of expose on our generation of teens.

Hooray, indeed! I am glad that there are teens like Vanessa and that she sees the value in good parenting and communication between parents and children! Now let’s cross our fingers and hope that we win this one. Even if we don’t, the nomination is reason enough to celebrate, don’t you think?