Financial smarts are learned through a lifetime of lessons. I believe that it is best to start at a young age. People who do not learn financial sense in their childhood or teenage years are probably the ones who have the most trouble handling their finances as adults. GoodParenting posted an entry on this topic sometime last week and though it focused mainly on teaching children the value of wealth (with the assumption that you are relatively wealthy), the insights presented are valuable.

I particularly like the point which says “make them accountable for every expense they make and every penny they spend.” I believe that this is part of teaching children how to be responsible financially. I do not know at what age you want to start giving your children allowances but let’s say once they start going to school. With this privilege, parents must instill a sense of responsibility – they must ensure that their children understand that they are to be accountable for what they spend. Parents must also go one step further and be firm in disciplining their children. For example, if the allotted allowance is spent before the next one is due, they should not coddle their children and simply give them more.

What I have shared above is merely my opinion. Surely other parents may have their own point of view in this matter. What about you, what is your stand?

I have always believed that mental skills depend both on genetics and parenting. A recent article published on CBS News provides proof for the latter. It talks about a study conducted at the University of Oregon which focused on poor families. Here’s an excerpt from the news article:

They looked at measures of thinking skills in young children before and after parents had special counseling.

One of the researchers, Courtney Stevens, PhD, presented early results from the study today at the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science in Boston.

Fourteen children aged 3-5 were tested on language ability and attention, and they had brain scans before their parents began the counseling. Another 14 children had the same tests, but their parents did not receive any special counseling.

The findings of the study?

Though many of us probably know the importance of good parenting with regard to our children’s mental skills, it is still assuring to hear of scientific findings such as this one. I guess we don’t need any more motivation to practice good parenting, huh? What do you think?

There is no doubt about it, Hannah Montana is one of the most popular teen stars today. I personally do not follow her much but I am sure that many children and teens do so. One of our readers pointed out an episode wherein Hannah Montana and her dad rode a Range Rover without wearing seatbelts. It may seem inane but being the role model that she is, it would have been good to see them setting a good example.

I suppose it is not her fault – after all, producers and directors were behind the scene. However, children may think that just because she was not wearing a seatbelt, they should not wear one too. Should we really care? According to Consumer Reports:

Because, according to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, in about 55 percent of passenger vehicle fatalities in 2006 (the latest data available), the occupants were not wearing seat belts. Even worse, in the 13- to 15-year-old age group, that percentage climbs to 65 percent. Unfortunately, we’re not surprised by these grim statistics because a 2002 survey by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety showed that when parents were dropping teens off at school in the morning, nearly half the teens weren’t using seat belts.

This information is enough to justify our concern, I think. Still, Billy Ray Cyrus, who plays Hannah Montana’s dad has admitted to the oversight. No big deal, I should say.

If you remember my last entry, I was musing on the fact that children should be taught how to help out at home. In my point of view, it is never too early to teach children how to handle responsibility. More4kids, a blog on parenting, has an entry on various chores you can start your children on and I agree with almost all of them. Let’s talk about a few that I think are the most feasible and productive.

I think that at the toddler stage, it would be perfect to start teaching our kids responsibility. More4kids outlines various chores such as:

I personally like the first one best. Children these days have tons of playthings. Making it a point to have them clean up and put away whatever they play with is a very good start in instilling a sense of responsibility in our children. Learning at this early stage would make it easier for them to take on larger tasks as they grow older.

So when they get out of the toddler stage, what other activities can they start doing? I think that making their own beds is a must. Tidying up their own rooms should be another “have to.” Also, I think watering the plants and helping out in the garden (if you have one) should start at this age as the activity would be more suitable for older kids. Walking the dog (perhaps with an adult) is also a good way to get kids outdoors. Of course, doing the dishes and setting the table should be thrown in there as well (I know, I really don’t like these chores).

How about you? How are you teaching your children responsibility through house chores?

“My tummy hurts!” That was my perpetual excuse from my childhood years to my teenage years. This usually happened right after we had lunch or dinner together as a family. What triggered it? I didn’t want to do the dishes.

It is a bit humorous when I think about it but now that I am no longer a child, I realize the importance of teaching our children how to do basic house chores. We were not rich but we were comfortable. Our parents taught us everything around the house – from doing the dishes to doing the laundry and even basic plumbing and electrical work!

Today, I realize that not many children know how to do even the most basic of household work. I was talking to a friend of mine about this and he said that he does not care whether or not his children help out at home as long as they did well in school – that was their job. I do see where he is coming from but I also know that I prefer my children to know how to take care of themselves in the house.

I was reading this blog post on Mum-Mum, a web site dedicated to kids and parenting, which aggregates blog posts from all over the web (yep, they do link to our posts, too – thanks!). I like how the writer outlined different chores that children of all ages could do at home. Maybe I’ll talk more about specific chores for kids in the next post.

A reader of ours shared an interesting article published in The Independent last week (thanks, David) and indeed, it was a thought-provoking piece that led to this post. The article is entitled “Over-parenting is the curse of our time.” Basically, the premise is that more and more parents in the UK are doing more than what is expected of them as parents. Indeed, they are behaving in such a way that they are stifling their children and robbing them of the chance to live their lives normally.

How so? The article relates how children who are over-parented (if there is such a word) and cannot deal with what life dishes out to them on their own. Technology and society, as a whole, do no seem to be helping out in this matter – cell phones, for example, become tools for parents to hold on tight to their children all the more.

So what do I think about this? I can see the truth behind the article’s ideas. Indeed, I have met a lot of people – both parents and children – who are in this situation. An adult of 21 could very well be on his own two feet but instead is tied to his mum’s apron strings. I am not sure about what the article says regarding this situation being more common in rich families, though. I believe that over-parenting can happen with the middle class as well. After all, it is not merely money that dictates this overwhelming sense of protectiveness. It is the parents’ desire to make sure that everything goes on well with their child’s life.

Being as protective as I am, I am glad that I read this article. I just hope that I won’t end up being an über-parent.

Do research
When we were first told that Sam had SMA, we went straight to the Internet and the library to do our own research. In our hearts, we wanted to validate what the doctors said. More than that, we wanted to know everything that was possible to know about his condition. Later on, when we found out that he had Prader-Willi Syndrome instead, we did the same thing. Our research helped us in many ways. I think, more than the practical information that we gathered, it was also a way of dealing with the situation. We were scared and kind of lost, and doing something in the way of research empowered us somewhat.

Get support
This comes in two ways – from family and friends who are close to you and then from other people who are in the same boat. I never knew how important family and friends could be when it came to support. As I mentioned in the first post in this series, Sam’s condition has brought our whole family closer together as we have never been before. The same thing goes with friends. My sister and husband have never been closer to their friends.

As for support groups, they can relate to your situation in ways that friends and family might not be able to. They can offer advice and support since they have gone – or are going – through the same thing. More than this, you can actually feel better as you share and give your support to others as well.

Take action
This is a very important thing and will stem from your research and consultation with doctors. As you find out more about your child’s condition, you can plan ahead and think about what your child is going to need – both for the short term and in the long run. You can search for services and other resources that can help you and your child.

Now that you’ve gone through the diagnosis and the mourning period, you are ready to face the challenges that the future brings you. It is not going to be easy but it still is going to bring out the best in you.

I remember when my sister found out that her son had a special condition. Her case was a little bit more extraordinary because her son was diagnosed a month or so after birth with Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA) and the doctors said that he probably won’t make it to his 2nd birthday. So when new tests revealed that he had another condition instead, we were quite relieved – and still a bit desperate at the same time. I think, though, that no matter what condition your child gets diagnosed with, the effect is rather the same – it can never be easy. So I’d like to share with you some thoughts to consider when you child gets diagnosed.

Get a second opinion
I think this is one of the most common things that parents do when they get feedback from their physicians. It is not that you do not have confidence in your doctor, it’s just that this is not a simple matter. Some tests are more definitive than others, while others also depend on the interpretation and judgment of the doctor. If you feel the need for a second opinion, then do not hesitate to do so. In the end, that will be your decision.

Give yourself time for the reality to sink in
This might take some time but do let yourself mourn. It is part of the process. Parents dream of nothing but a good life for their children and getting diagnosed with something special is definitely not part of that dream. Giving yourself time to mourn does not mean that you are giving up on your child or his chances of having a fulfilling life. It simply means that you need to accept the turn of events before you can move on and deal with the situation accordingly.

We hear about children having special needs a lot, but how do we really define what “specials needs” is? The truth is that this term covers a myriad of conditions, from allergies to learning disabilities to developmental delays. Within these categories, we also have a wide spectrum ranging from mild to severe. Though we may not want to box anyone into a certain category, it is quite important for the medical community to impart certain labels – this is in order to be able to provide the right kind of service and treatment, set goals for the child and the family, as well as to be able to provide the right kind of support for everyone involved.

I have a nephew with special needs, you may have a child in your family with special needs as well. However, the chances are that they would have very different situations even if they had some commonalities. Medical professionals have categorized special needs into general groups:

-medical
-behavioral
-developmental
-learning
-mental health.

Sometimes, the needs of a special child may fall under more than one of the categories mentioned above.

How is a child diagnosed with respect to being special? Normally, what is measured is what a child “cannot do.” For example, the food that he cannot eat, the milestones that he cannot achieve, and so on. It may seem to be a pessimistic way of handling things and it can even be more difficult for parents to deal with the situation. However, for some, it is something that makes their lives more challenging and each additional step that their child takes – no matter how small it may be – becomes a triumph that cannot be taken away from them.

In the next post, let’s look at how to deal with the situation after your child is diagnosed.

I think that is every expecting mother’s wish to have a beautiful healthy baby. From the time that a woman finds out that she is pregnant up to the time that she delivers her child, I know that her prayer every night is to have a perfectly healthy child. Yet there are times when our wishes are not granted in the exact manner that we ask them to be.

As that famous line in the movie Forrest Gump goes, “life is a box of chocolates, you never know what you will get next.” Some mothers get their wish and have perfectly healthy babies. Others, they get something else, something that I would say is perhaps even more special, for God has granted them a baby with something more.

Lori Borgman says it better than I do in her work “Some Mothers Get Babies With Something More.” You can read the whole thing in the blog Special Child. This really touched my heart as, even if I am not a mother who got something more, my nephew is special – in more ways than one. I never really though that we would have to deal with this but God has presented us with a special gift and our family has grown together as a result. That is why I thought of writing a series on special children, in the hopes that as I share our experiences, other families will become encouraged and inspired.

So for mothers who got something more, here is a tribute to you.